1 month to the day after 15 years
In this post I talk about the aftermath of losing the man I loved.
In her new book, Getting Past Your Breakup, Susan J. Elliot says that a rule of No Contact with your ex is necessary to fully heal and grieve after a tough breakup. Although she understands how difficult this notion can be (she has personal experience in the department of contacting exes), she says, "in order to truly get past your breakup, you need to separate emotionally, physically, and psychologically from the relationship, and the primary way to do that is to stop talking to your ex."Read: Stay Together or Break Up? How To Decide Now
Fresh perspectives & new beginnings
Guy Ritchie was recently spotted having dinner with supermodel Elle Macpherson. Are they dating?
HOW do you get an Ex to STOP calling you?It's been over six months since I have had ANY contact of ANY kind with my former FWB. The last time we spoke, on the phone, I re-iterated what I had already told him in person, which is that he and I are over because I was entering into an actual relationship. He never wanted an actual relationship and he made that clear right from day one.I was fine with that as I was still grieving the death of my husband.We both agreed to be friends with benefits, and that is all.This lasted over two years, during which time I told him at least four times that one day I would meet someone who wanted to have a relationship with me and our connection would then end.
I have a lot of friends and readers who ask me about dead-end relationships. They know they're in them but they're not sure how or if they even want to get out of them. It seems like the start of a new year is the perfect time to look at the makeup of the breakup.Here's the short version. If you know it's done, get out. I know, I know. There are all sorts of considerations—housing, pets, kids, years of history together, familial relationships, fear of being alone. But, if you don't want to be there, if you can no longer remember why you're there in the first place, if it's just plum not working, how can you stay together? Truly. How?
The worst part of the end of a relationship can be the lack of one. We've all been there, waiting for answers that never came and wasting precious time trying to get that closure from an ex who just wasn't willing to give it. Whether it was a long drawn-out breakup or one that ended abruptly without warning, below are some tips on how to move on to bigger and better things—specifically a new you.
Doesn't it seem like celebrities lives are in fast-motion? It may have to do with the fact that they are constantly being documented by the media; whether it be pictures from the paparazzi or reports from Ryan Seacrest and Giuliana Depandi on E! News. Whatever the case may be, it feels like average human beings are in limbo and celebs are like rockets shooting off from outer space.
"You're doing what?" I heard that a lot in the spring of 2007, whenever I explained to friends that I had broken up with my Nathan, boyfriend of four years, yet we were still living together in the apartment we'd shared for the last two. It was a temporary matter, I'd say, a situation that would last about a month or two, until we found our own places. It turned out to be about six. And they were strange times. Even now, more than a year later, I'm in awe that we didn't manage to kill each other. Even stranger: by the time we parted ways and even to this day, we've managed to stay friends.