One of the hardest stages in the relationship cycle is moving on. Many of us ask the question, "Why am I still thinking about my ex?" We've all suffered through nights when we couldn't sleep because thoughts about the ex just wouldn't quit. That's normal. Here are 4 reasons why we continue to think about the past: 1. Lack of closure.
Breaking up is hard enough, but when there's another woman involved, it's doubly difficult. It doesn't matter if she is drop dead beautiful or looks like moldy cheese; either way feels like someone stuck a knife in your back. It's particularly hard to overcome the heartbreak when another woman comes into the picture because you feel out of control. Any chance you might have had to work things out with him seems to vanish because he now has this new woman in his life. Your shaken ego will desperately try to repair it's hurt pride by urging you to find out why this happened — as if finding an explanation could make you feel better. You'll scrutinize his feelings and begin to assume all kinds of reasons why he picked her over you. This won't fix your heartbreak. This will only end up with you blaming yourself up for lacking something that she must have.
Goin' Through The Big D. That was the title and chorus of a song I loved in high school ... nice country twang, good lyrics and a toe-tappin' beat made it easy to dance to and listen loud as I drove through my hometown. I thought it was a fun song and a good, lighthearted way to talk about divorce. Of course, that was until I went through 'the big D' myself. Suddenly, it wasn't so funny.
Mothers want to see their children succeed. Newlyweds believe their love is special and will last throughout eternity. Best friends make declarations that they can weather life’s storms together , forever, come rain, sleet, hail, marriage, children, and cross continental relocations. We’ve all felt the kind of certainty about our relationships that leaves no room for doubt, but sometimes the best laid plans, wrapped in the noblest of intentions , simply don’t work out and the only move we can make… is to move on.
We never try to bring flowers back to life when they have died. We thank them for the beauty they have graced us with and allow them to rest in peace. So why do we insist on resuscitating the pain of past relationships that clearly withered on the vine long ago?
By Sheila Robinson-Kiss, MSW, LCSW Five years ago I was utterly devastated when a relationship went up in a ball of flames. Nothing made sense. I gave that relationship my all and none of that mattered after the rug was pulled from underneath my feet. I had landed on the concrete. My spirit was broken and my ego was cracked. I had fallen into a foggy slump, spending my days binging on the Lifetime Television Network and playing video games. Just when I thought the bar couldn’t dip any lower, the door bell rang one night.
$14,000: That's the amount one French guy was fined for not having enough sex with his now ex-wife, according to The Gloss (that's 10,000 euros, if you're wondering). What a woman!
I used to hate Sunday nights. There’s just something in the quiet… if you listen closely enough, you can almost hear the sound of happy couples and families sitting down to dinner, laughing and enjoying one another’s company. Everything closes early. Time stands still in those hours around sunset, doesn’t it?
If there is one constant we can count on in life, it’s change. Change is the only thing that remains constant. What this means is that we need to learn to live and let live, and learn to let go. What this also means is that life is full of loss. We lose people in our lives. Friends come and go, co-workers forget us, family members go off to college, get married, move abroad, and pets, parents and grandparents die.