Do all mothers know what my more experienced friend told me about our children's childhoods? That they go by in an eye blink? And do all mothers, like me, anticipate the days when it will all be a memory?
When I had children, there was the fleeting fear that my days of throwing fabulous parties had come to a finale of their own. I ushered this thought out the door – right along with the suggestion of elastic-waisted mom jeans – and reaffirmed my commitment to throwing memory-making soirees. Sure, the parties and my style have had to evolve, but now that the bottles of white I serve are as likely to hold white grape juice as Chardonnay, here’s what I’ve learned about entertaining post-Mommyhood.
This will probably be the easiest article I've ever written and the only research and reference materials I need are right inside of my heart and my mind. I have three wonderful sons. If they were not the young men that they were, I would not be the woman that I am right now.
When couples set out to create their family, very few of them give consideration to the changes that take place in the bedroom after the kids are born. For many of the couples I see, the joy of having children is diminished by the loss of their marital and sexual connection. Watch as I explain how you can re-create the eroticism in your marriage and connect with your partner on a deeper, more meaningful level.
About five years ago, just after enrolling in graduate school, I read that—for married women—attending graduate school is sometimes the fast road to divorce. Yikes. More than two years after finishing my degree, my husband and I are still together—it's been 22 years now—and the D word was only uttered once, in the pitch of (a stupid) battle.
Some family stuff is just plain hard. Like now. My mother is 84, lives 2,700 miles away, has been in and out of the hospital due to illness, and is now in a rehabilitation center. I've flown from New Jersey to Nevada to relieve my brother, who lives down the block from her. I'm now navigating conversations with doctors, figuring out what isn't being said and working out what happens next. I'm staying for several weeks and, since I've done this a few times, I know the terrain. I'm not complaining. But I am keenly aware of what such separations and circumstances do to my own family, to my marriage and to me as a mother.
Sara Gilbert (a.k.a. Darlene from Roseanne), is all grown up and co-hosting a new daytime talk show with Sharon Osbourne, Leah Remini, Holly Robinson Peete, Marissa Jaret Winokur and Julie Chen, starting this fall. We're told the panel of six celebrity moms will discuss and debate (to put it ever so politely), issues relating to motherhood and parenting. (Um, and yes, the premise does sound strikingly similar to Barbara Walters' The View.) But back to our point. The show may be about mommyhood, but we all know that whenever a group of women get together, it doesn't take long before men, women, relationships, sex—you know, the good stuff—comes up.
Not sure if motherhood is right for you? These questions will help you gain insight into the way you feel about being a mom.
When you're the stay-at-home mother of an infant, you spend almost no time alone, and thinking goes out the window, unless you count anxious fretting over when to start solid foods and how to persuade the baby to go down for a nap. It's unclear to me now why I imagined this wouldn't be a difficult adjustment.
If someone had told me when I was 25 years old that one day my husband and I would be parents to three sets of twins, I would have laughed out loud. At the time—it was 1988—my husband Bruce and I had been married about three years. We were very much in love, building our relationship upon mutual trust, love, respect, humor and faith in God. We also had a very active, healthy and happy sex life, but we hadn't yet decided it was time to start our family.
Being a parent is a central part of many women's lives, and YourTango has covered it from all perspectives: deciding when to have kids, sex after kids, trying to "have it all," and more. Below, a selection of our best posts on motherhood (and fatherhood—afterall, you can't make a baby without a father).
A father imagines his daughter's future boyfriends. "My elder daughter, who's 12, is just beginning to show an interest in boys, and since it's every man's dream to have his little princess marry a guy just like her father, I'm trying to craft a personal ad to attract the ideal candidate. Though my daughter's dating debut is 10 years down the line (at least), I find that I have a problem: I am horrified by the man I envision her with. Because, in reality, who the heck would date me? Then again, the kid could do worse..."
In Bad Mother, author Ayelet Waldman encourages women to aspire to be "not bad" mothers and resist the pressure to meet the extremely high standards of success that society has for women and motherhood. Waldman wants women to stop trying so hard and just be. She argues that mothers can and should be honest, flawed, and, yes, selfish sometimes—your ability to care for your children will not suffer. Discuss: Which is harder: marriage or motherhood?
The past 25 years have left women's plates increasingly—some might argue, precariously—overloaded, as they try to keep healthy portions of career, love and family. In her upcoming new book, "In Her Own Sweet Time: Unexpected Adventures In Finding Love, Commitment, And Motherhood," New York City journalist Rachel Lehmann-Haupt explores the expanding buffet of choices that exist for women hoping to "have it all" today.