Welcome to our new YourTango Expert series on motherhood and love! Women are natural givers who do their best to make sure everyone else's needs (and wants) are met, often at the expense of their own. After all, there are only 24 hours in a day, right? Our first topic is sex, because countless studies and surveys show that moms are chronically overworked and undersexed. We recently asked our experts how can mothers shift their mental energy (their attitudes and approach to sex) and their physical energy (their schedules, their bedroom routines) to help make sex more of a priority.
For most parents, children are a gift to our lives and motherhood is one of the highest callings we can have in life. But as any mom knows, it's also one of the most intense jobs in the universe. It's 24/7, non-stop and never ending.Moms the world over are in need of more than just one holiday to celebrate the intense commitment made to their children and in this week's new YourTango Experts spotlight "Motherhood & Love", our experts will share wisdom on how to juggle it all and stay not just sane, but happy!
It's been 10 years since Hilary Duff rose to fame as the star of Disney's Lizzie McGuire. The former teen pop sensation, now 23, and her husband are expecting a baby. From Britney Spears to Reese Witherspoon, see other celebs who became pregnant before age 25.
Tia Mowry has a lot of "firsts" to be proud of. Two months ago, she and husband Cory Hardict welcomed their first child. The happy new mom is currently writing her first book on the journeys of motherhood, and her new reality show, "Tia and Tamera" (which she produces and stars in with twin sister Tamera) debuted as the Style network's most-watched series premiere ever.
Ever have a sneaking suspicion that your mom wished you were a boy? You might be right. According to an anonymous survey of more than 26,000 moms conducted by TODAY.com and Parenting.com, ten percent say they wish their child was the opposite sex. And of that ten percent, 60 percent have boys. Sorry, boys!
I have been married almost four years now. For the most part, my relationship with my husband, Matt, who happens to be a matchmaker and dating coach, has pretty much been "out there" in terms of our views regarding dating, marriage, love, how men think and how to handle a breakup. We have written books, appeared on television and given lots of advice. But perhaps the one area that we haven’t had too much experience in dealing with: children. Until recently that is.
After three months of being a tattooed mom, I have felt those judging eyes as I walk away. In all likelihood, any opinion they formed about me has morphed into something else. Which just makes me want to tattoo the following down my arm: I’m a breastfeeding, baby-wearing, co-sleeping, cloth diapering mom. I’m married. I own a home and a late model car. I have never received a speeding ticket, let alone been convicted of a crime. Too long?
I stood there in my sweatpants, a bit disheveled, wanting to cry out, "No! You and I belong together!" But that was my need, not his. He walked off, his Bakugan backpack shining in the sun, without turning his head. I tightened my jacket around me. He caught sight of his friend, and slung his arm around his shoulders, a gesture that seemed more mature than he was. They disappeared into the school, laughing, tilting their faces towards one another. And just like that, the cord was severed.
Only one reproductive choice is stigmatized: voluntary childlessness. Many protest against this cultural bias, arguing that childfree (preferred over childless) should be a respected choice, says Berkeley clinical psychologist Mardy S. Ireland, Ph.D., author of Reconceiving Women: Separating Motherhood from Female Identity (Guilford, 1993). Motherhood is the defining life experience for many women, but it's not for everyone. Being female doesn't mean your instincts, talents and needs destine you for maternity.
Erica Jong, known best for her book “Fear of Flying” is waxing poetic in the Sunday New York Times about what has happened to the sex lives of the younger generation. According to Jong, younger women are yearning for the nostalgia of a 50’s era happily ever after notion of monogamy, marriage and motherhood. Jong says it’s a kind of rebellion and a desire for control.
As it became clear that Caylee probably wouldn't come home safely, the nation learned more about her mother, Casey. A young single mom with an irresponsible streak, it was obvious that she wasn't ready to be a parent. And as I held my own child, it wasn't only Caylee's story that scared me, it was Casey's. Just as Caylee brought to mind my daughter, Casey reminded me of myself when she was first born.
I just turned 38. Am I too old to contemplate one more pregnancy before I hang up my fallopian tubes? After all of the drama I've endured with my last five pregnancies (and three births), I feel like I've gotten pregnancy down to an art. It seems unfair that I might be considered too old or too risky to bear another child.
It seems like everything that we moms do is subject to intense scrutiny and judged by the "good-mom-eter." If we dare stray from the straight and narrow we are automatically cast aside as evil women who are neglectful at best, abusive for sure and likely to end up having to pay for years of therapy.
Here's what I know for sure about parenting: That after 17 years, I don't know as much as I think I do, as much as I'd like. And, that the mental list I keep of my parenting failures continues to grow. Sometimes daily. Failing occasionally is not an option with parenting, it's a given. I'd guess that any parent without a mental "FAIL!" list is basically delusional. Here's a look at what's on my own parenting FAIL list. As of today, that is.
Sex expert Dr. Marianne Brandon shares advice on how to merge motherhood and sexuality postpartum By Sex Expert Dr. Marianne Brandon If you are a mother, you might be thinking that it often feels more like it’s either sex or the first year postpartum … not both. For so many women, it is a veritable challenge to meld these experiences into one life. In my practice, I regularly work with postpartum women who describe their sex lives in the past tense:
I try to be a happy person and I really am the vast majority of the time. I am usually that annoying Pollyanna who thinks everything is going to be all right. My down times are few and far between, but, man, when they happen they are fierce.
When you talk about dealing with infertility, you get a lot of different reactions. Some people sympathize, some people criticize, some people wonder why you would want to bring a child into the world when there are already so many children unloved and unclaimed. I’ve had pretty much all of that directed at me.