Oprah Winfrey's resident sex doctor, Dr. Laura Berman encourages parents to embrace their children's sexuality and even encourage it. A stoic-faced Berman told the rows of moms sitting in the audience yesterday, where the topic was How To Talk To Your Kids About Sex, that the ripe, old age of 13 or 14 is way too late to have the "big sex talk." Instead she guesses around 9 or 10 is appropriate. She even suggests mothers buy their teenage daughter a vibrator. To empower them, of course. "You're teaching them about their own body and pleasuring themselves and taking the reins of their own sexuality so that they don't ever have to depend on any other teenage boy to do it for them," Dr. Berman says. We saw that grimace you just gave the computer screen. We feel you, reader. The thought of our mothers gifting us a pocket rocket isnt anything that would've made us any more sexually balanced as a teen. In fact, we probably would've been less likely to use it, but Berman is intent that parents evolve with the times and strip away anytaboo when it comes to sex. Specifically sex toys.
According to a recent study by scientists at the University of Queensland, a Hugh Hefner-aged father may actually be detrimental to the child's cognitive abilities. Out of a pool of 33, 000 children it was found that those with the oldest fathers consistently scored lower on intelligence tests. Unfortunately, no exact age was pinpointed as too old. Rather, the scientists just witnessed a general decline with more mature dads—66 being the oldest father in the study. While, yes, the reasons behind a low IQ score could most certainly be blamed on a myriad of factors, researcher Professor John McGrath said the results were "startling" and goes so far as to say the age of the father is as important as the age of the mother. While we always thought of sperm as evergreen, new research proves that older men "accumulate more mutations" in their swimmers as they age.
Last night I had a drink (okay, we had three) with my ex-fiance’s mother—she had called me previous to her coming into town and has asked if I wanted to meet up. When I told a few friends that I was planning on meeting her for drinks, a couple thought I was a little nutty. One friend said, “I would advise against that. People lose things that mean a lot to them when break ups happen, but moving on does not mean keeping the ex’s mother in your life.” When I explained that she was much more to me than my ex’s mother, and that the relationship we hoped to maintain was about friendship, and one that had nothing to do with HIM, he softened. Still, though I was 99% excited to see her, a small part of me was nervous—would we end up talking about my ex? What if I was to find something out that would hurt me? Would hurt to see her and be reminded that she could ONLY be my friend and not my mother-in-law?
Ah the mother-in-law. She loves her son and wants what's best for him, which may or may not include you. A study by a British psychologist found that 60% of women felt tension with their mothers-in-law, compared with 15% of men. But not all MIL relationships are strained. This week's New York Times Modern Love essayist tells of her incredible relationship with her lover's mother. Then there are the famous MIL relationships: Barack Obama's mother-in-law may be moving into the White House, and Heidi Montag's mom thinks marrying Spencer Pratt was a bad idea. Read the full article to find out how to ease conflict with a mother-in-law.
After the birth of her daughter, one woman learns how to come to terms with her mother-in-law: "With the birth of my daughter came the clarity to see why I rebuffed her: I did not want my mother-in-law to replace my mother. That hole in my heart was purposefully empty, a placeholder for the mother I couldn't have. My immature behavior was stuck back in my 23-year-old mind, the one that lost her parent far too young… It took gaining a daughter to find a mother—not the one I was originally given, but a supportive, giving parental figure nonetheless."
We blogged earlier about Beijing senior citizens who attended marriage marts in order to find mates for their children. Looks like the Japanese are looking to do the same, reports The Calgary Herald. Parents got fed up and began asking a matchmaker to arrange events for them to discuss issues, such as the women in their 40s (Yes, the children. Still living at home.) who expected potential husbands to provide the same lifestyle that they enjoyed out of their father's pay check. Before they knew it the get-togethers morphed into a singles scene minus the singles. Single by proxy, perhaps?
Ah, spring in Beijing. A sea of children, runners, and the like in the park. And an overabundance of elderly, each clutching a piece of paper of vital stats, approaching one another with hopeful expectations. This is the scene the Asia Times recently reported as they investigated the growing marriage mart trend, a collection of senior citizens who gather in the park, hoping to find matches for their grown, single children.
Esther Perel, author of Mating in Captivity, discusses the best ways to keep your monogamous relationship as spicy as you want it. Lust and commitment can go hand in hand. Here are some tips on how to make it happen. And Tango's favorite celebrity interviewer, Jesse Kornbluth, asks the questions.
I know there's something creepy and entirely unsexy about playing a maternal role with the man you love. I've often wondered if the mothering instinct is just part of being a woman in love‚ or if it's an annoying urge that we must ignore if we want to keep romance alive and our dignity intact.
Many women go through a postpartum libido drought. This dry spell is caused by natural bodily changes and may be the result of depression or even breast-feeding! Sometimes it can even last for months and can cause a significant strain on your relationships. Are our hormones too out of balance to even think about doing THAT? Or is there something more to it? Elizabeth Uppman gets to bottom of this all-too-common phenomenon in a very personal essay.
Having a child irrevocably alters the balance of a partnership. The responsibility, time commitment and difficulty having baby is tough, no matter how strong your union; romance and sex after kids can be hard to accomplish. Although many couples decide the disruption is worth it, finding a new equilibrium can be challenging. Here, one mother comments on why she won't do it again. In her own words, "admitting that bringing a child into a relationship might ruin said relationship verges on the unpatriotic. Like most of us, I expect romance to survive marriage and committed cohabitation. I’m more dubious that it can survive raising a child."