You're all set when it comes to presents for your own mom (and it's only Wednesday! Go you!) but then the thought dawns on you: "Uh oh. Am I supposed to get my boyfriend/fiance/husband's mom something?"
The other day I complimented my friend Tina on her cardigan. It was a long cardigan that you could wear with leggings. The cardigan looked comfortable and stylish, so I said I love your cardigan. She responded saying thanks, my mother in law gave it to me for my birthday. I said that was nice of her. Tina said, yeah she gave it to me and then said it is perfect because it will cover your butt.
And as if being a bride- and princess-to-be isn't enough pressure, Kate Middleton has been thrust into the international spotlight and her appearance, style and wedding have become ripe fodder for gossip. She's gotten flack for quitting her job to prepare for her wedding and been the center of a media-invented kerfuffle over whether or not Camilla will have to curtsy in her presence.
How does your Mother in law always manage to drop in when your house is a complete mess and you look like a Survivor reject? Why can she never show up when everything's peachy keen? You stand there dripping wet, doing your best imitation of a drowned cat, clutching your towel under your armpits as your Mother in law, in full makeup and heels at 6:30 in the morning, says "So nice to see you, dear, may I come in?" The kids are running around hysterically, the TV's blasting, your dishes are piled sky-high and you know your Mother in law's judging every last
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But—as I later told my brothers-and sister-in-law (who, yes, found the post; this is how this story ends)—I believed that it was my story to tell. It was about my experience with her, my responses to the things that she said to me, my discomfort in struggling to accommodate her while she visited, for the first time, her newborn grandson.
Every week, we here at Traditional Love bring you our favorite love, marriage and family links from around the Web. This week, we read about fighting, mother-in-laws, being a married college student and more. Did we miss your favorite story of the week? Let us know in the comments. Fighting can actually make your marriage stronger. And if that's true, my marriage is tough as nails. [CNN] One of your most important relationships is your relationship with your partner's family, which isn't always the smoothest of rides (understatement). But what happens when you bad-mouth your mother-in-law on the internet?* [Lemondrop]
Him: “I gotta go visit my Mom this weekend. I’d like you to come with me.” You: Groan. Moan. “Do I have to? I hate going over there. She’s depressing.” That’s true, she is. She’s older, crotchety, and without purpose since her children are grown and her husband died. She’s still his Mom. More importantly, he’d like you to come with. You’re gonna do it anyway, so why drag your feet? Why not say “Sure, Hon. Piece of cake”? Why not be willing, if not to spend time with cranky Mom, to spend time going there and back with your Sweetie? You could suggest going for a bite, or dessert, or a movie afterwards. Something to look forward to. Might even be fun! More at www.yourmaniswonderful.com/blog
Be blunt. Tell her that her actions are disrespectful and are hurting your relationship with her son. 19% Avoid her. Don’t get into situations where you'll have to talk to her. 29% Give back what you get! If she's fresh with you, you've got to be rude right back. 9% Be nice. Ignore her incivility and just try to get along with her. 43%
Fifty-three percent of all married women describe their relationships with their mothers-in-law as obligatory, cordial but nothing more, reporting a mix of both anxiety and tension. I am the author of The Daughter-in-Law Rules: 101 Surefire Ways to Manage (and Make Friends with) Your Mother-in-Law! and my vision is to inspire more harmony among 20 million mothers and daughters-in-law around the world by teaching all brides to learn the art of making friends with their husband’s mother. Here is a small parable to illustrate the philosophy behind the Daughter-in-Law Rules: Story of a Daughter-in-law, Li Li A long time ago in China, a girl named Li-Li got married and went to live with her husband and mother-in-law. Their personalities were very different, and Li-Li was angered by many of her constant criticisms.
As a mom, we try to do it all. For example, I teach, do workshops, co-host a weekly radio show, give online tele-classes, write books, blog, tweet, do a weekly newsletter, prepare corporate sponsorships, answer HARO ads, etc. I also am a jazz pianist and mother of two small children. Here are some tips as to how to do it all: Do not Procrastinate! When you have five minutes to do something on your to do list, do it! I used to let things pile up but now I realize that five minutes is golden and you can accomplish a LOT if you just put your mind to it! When the Kids Are in Bed, GO! As soon as your kids’ heads hit the pillow, RUN to your computer and start getting things done! I do not waste even a second once my kids are in bed. I know that this is very, very precious time and I utilize it most effectively (as per the first tip)! Juice and Eat Healthy
