I don’t talk to Alex very often (once in the past two months, to be exact). But when we do speak, we stick to the basics. We talk about family, friends, work—everything except each other's love lives. Of course, that’s the one thing I’m really curious about. Whenever I’m talking to him, I always have to stop myself just short of asking the elephant-in-the-room questions: “Are you seeing anyone? Have you met anyone new? How many girls have you dated since we broke up? Did you really like any of them? How serious were they?” The list goes on.
Last summer, Alex and I were in the same place for the first (and only) time. After doing the long-distance thing for well over a year, we both decided to live in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania. He worked a summer job and I commuted four hours a day (seriously) to work in New York City. Anything for love, right?
That was our magical summer, full of more together-time than our entire relationship had been up to that point. Incidentally, it was also the summer right before our breakup—clearly it wasn’t magical enough to keep us together. Still, it was good.
Alex wrote me back.
Of course he did—I knew he would. All the same, it was a relief to see his name in my inbox.
His email was short, sweet, and just as polite as mine had been to him. He wrote about his hectic schedule, his car breaking down, and his tentative-til-they-actually-happen plans for the future. Reading it reminded me of how up-in-the-air his life has always been. When we were together, it felt like my life hung in the balance with his, and I realized that I haven’t missed that feeling in the least.
I broke the silence. Alex and I hadn’t spoken since January—the longest we’ve gone without talking in over two years. We didn’t have a big fight or anything, just no reason to contact each other. For a while I hardly noticed the silence. But of course, as soon as I realized it had been as long as it had, the questions started mounting. Why hasn’t he called? Is he mad at me? Should I call him? What’s he been doing for the past two months? It’s an uncomfortable feeling when you realize the man you used to speak to daily has no idea what’s been going on in your life—and likewise, you have no idea what’s happening in his.
