A new study on maturity suggests that men don't mature until age 43, while women mature by age 32. And yet, many successful single women choose to date younger men. Why is this so? Our explain has some insight.
Women constantly push really good guys right out of their lives without even knowing it. We do it by behaving in ways that, until pointed out by someone else, are a complete mystery. Finally, having this pointed out to me in my early 40s was a huge part of my transition from a pretty happy single gal to, at age 47, a truly fulfilled wife of a loving and adoring man.
I recently completed my 64th weekend workshop for couples. Once again I was impressed by a group of intrepid couples who were willing to leave their emotional comfort zone to create something better for themselves. One of the exercises of the workshop is brainstorming a list of effective communication behaviors and attitudes. Then I ask the group how many saw their families exercise these behaviors 50% or more of the time when things got tense. I never have had more than 15% of the couples raise their hands.
And then, not expecting it, you become middle-aged…You achieve a wonderful freedom. It is a positive thing. —Doris Lessing Maturity or middle age means different things to different people. But for most, reaching a mature age means developing a new set of expectations. At mid-life it's possible to view life from a new perspective. You have goals and aspirations yet to achieve, but you also realize you’re not getting younger. Maturity is a time for re-adjusting your focus, and getting your whole act together.
Dating like a grownup is the quickest path to finally enjoying mutually nurturing relationships with men who are full of respect, adoration and commitment. If you're going to date like a grownup, developing empathy for men is crucial. Just like all your relationships, when you have the ability to step outside yourself and get into someone else's head and heart (even just a little), your connections instantly improve.
When life hands me a very difficult time, and I feel defeated and overwhelmed, I enter a hopeless and helpless state of mind I think of as The Little Orphan girl. This is the way I felt, as a teen, when I lost nearly my whole family, father, aunts and uncles, between the ages of 12 and 18. Needless to say, I was devastated; and I also survived and eventually, thrived. But little orphan girl doesn’t remember that I made it through – she sinks into despair.
I’ve accumulated several licenses after 37 years. These documents empower me as a woman and contribute to my identity. My transition into adulthood is unequivocally tied to my credentials. My paperwork is a timeline of personal and professional growth. When I received my driver’s license, I felt incredibly free. (It’s amazing what four wheels and four cylinders can do for a 16-year-old). After receiving my dental hygiene license, I felt academically accomplished. When I received my CPR certification, I felt capable in the event of a crisis.
15 more dating habits to break by the time you hit the big 3-0.
Being an overgrown child is not sexy. Here are some dating habits to break by the time you turn 30, gathered from our wise staff.
Max Green, 32, who just moved back home from the West Coast, recently told the New York Post, "I moved back in with my parents in August. I was dissatisfied with my job, was thinking of going back to school, and wanted to be close to my family."
Ladies, I think we need to have a real talk with Tim Story, the director of "Think Like a Man," the upcoming film (April 2012) based on Steve Harvey’s bestselling relationship advice guide, "Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man." So far, the studio has been stacking the odds of success in their favor with a roster of actors that includes heartthrob Michael Ealy, Black romantic comedy staple Gabrielle Union, and Oscar nominee Taraji P. Henson. On Sunday, the studio announced that it had completed casting, adding two final names to the line up: It Girl LaLa Vazquez…and Chris Brown?
When a man makes a fidelity or commitment mistake, it's HIS job to stand up and take responsibility. Have you heard about Weinergate? Just in case you haven't, it goes like this: Congressman Anthony Weiner, after denying it for days, got caught quite literally with his pants down. (Yeah, I know I'm not the first to use that. But it works.) Apparently The Weiner has been acting like a horny 16 year old, sexting endlessly to women he doesn't even know. (Nor, as I keep hearing reported, did he know their ages. Uh-oh.)