Before getting a marriage license, people must learn how to do the high-skills activity that partnership requires. Otherwise, couples are at risk for intense fighting, and launching a marriage that's at risk from the outset.
If your spouse is telling you "No way will I go to a therapist," all is not hopeless. Start with awareness of three wo common mistakes. Avoid these lest you inadvertently push your spouse away. Pushing him further from you would yield the opposite of your intent to make the marriage better.
You know the punch-lines to all his jokes. You're that couple who sit in a restaurant with nothing to say. At bedtime you never thought you'd be pretending to have a headache. "I can't make myself feel any different," one woman in my office told me tearfully. "The magic's gone."
As divorce rates in the U.S. were rising by the end of World War II, so were fears over the state of marriage and family life. Skyrocketing rates sent many couples to seek expert advice to bolster their marriages. During this time, the idea that marriage could be saved—and a divorce prevented—with enough work gained ground, according to Kristin Celello, assistant professor of history at Queens College, City University of New York, in her fascinating book Making Marriage Work: A History of Marriage and Divorce in the Twentieth-Century United States. A slew of experts stepped in to help American couples strengthen their unions...and with some interesting suggestions.
I had been working with a couple on the concept of making amends and offering one another sincere apologies for ways in which they have hurt one another. He stated truthfully that he was not ready to offer an apology that was genuine because he still was not getting what he wanted and needed in this marriage. After further discussion, both people were able to see they have some deep roots of resentment and bitterness towards one another that they were not willing and able to release yet.
Few things harm a relationship more than an affair. Whether the affair is emotional, a 'one night stand,' long term or a cyber-affair, the betrayal delivers a life-altering blow. Will the injury to the relationship prove fatal? There are some essential steps a couple must take for there to be any hope that the relationship can survive an affair. If done wisely, there is hope the relationship will come through the ordeal stronger than before. Here are eight steps that can help save your marriage.
Before we got married, my father in law paid for my husband and I to attend a marriage conference. This guesture was made purely out of love for us and out of a desire to have our marriage start on the best foot possible. But at the end of the conference, Dave and I had decided that the best part about the conference was eating at a steakhouse a few blocks away from the conference hotel. When you enter into marriage people are full of well-meaning advice. Friends, family, that nice lady at Target helping you with your registry. All of which we ignored and we don't regret it for a moment. Here are the top five peices of advice that we are glad we forgot.