Here's a scene from Seinfeld, the '90s' hilarious take on everyday minutae:
Jerry: "You faked it?"
Elaine: "I faked it."
Jerry: "That whole thing, the whole production, it was all an act?"
Elaine: "Not bad, huh?"
Jerry: "What about the breathing, the panting, the moaning, the screaming?"
Elaine: "Fake, fake, fake, fake."
It's time to talk about whether your marital sex life is working.
He's come home from the doctor with a prescription for Viagra! What does it mean? Is he going outside our relationship for sex? Doesn't he want me any more? These are the questions that go through most women's heads when the little blue pill shows up. T
Two out of three couples say marriage got worse after baby. Here's how to keep your romance alive
“You’ll never sleep again.” “You have no idea how tired you’ll be.” “Forget sex.”
Expecting a baby? You’ve heard it all before. As a recent Wall Street Journal article put it, babies are “So Cute, So Hard on a Marriage.” According to the Relationship Research Institute in Seattle, about two-thirds of couples say that within three years of the birth of a
Should kids know their parents like doing the deed? One mother thinks so.
Like artichokes and caviar, it wasn't until well into adulthood that I acquired a taste for my parents' sex life. When I was a mother myself, I realized what a gift it was to know that my own parents had always had a robust sex life. And I want my kids, one day, to know the same thing about their own parents.
What a bad boring rap monogamy has in our sex-saturated society. We live in a society that values multiple sex partners and ignores the richness of monogamous marital sex. This isn't to say married sex is perfect. I used to hate married sex. When I was married for the first time long ago, sex was a bit of an issue. And before that I dide the casual sex thing, only to discover what many others discover (but rarely admit) – sex outside the covenant of marriage leaves in its path a battlefield of emotional, physical and spiritual wreckage.
I've been reading a book I wish I'd had when my first child was born: "And Baby Makes Three," by John Gottman and Julie Schwarz Gottman. The authors write about how parents can keep their relationship strong as they adjust to the challenges of parenthood.
Most of the book is good solid advice on fighting well: remember you're on the same side, work things through, take a break when you need to. All of the conflict resolution skills you learn before you have kids but forget when you're sleep-deprived.
The Gottmans have an insightful chapter on parents' sex lives, too. What I found most interesting was that couples who adjusted well kept touching each other affectionately, even when their sex drives were low. Other "secrets of couples whose sex life is going well" include: accepting that things have changed, communicating, indulging in quickies, and making time for "gourmet sex."