It's natural for couples to have different opinions on what makes a great sex life. But if you're never in the mood (or he always is!), it's time to do a little personal development work.
LOW SEX DRIVE
It is often a bit too easy for passion and intimacy to be lacking in relationships - especially lesbian relationships. Where did it go wrong? How can it be fixed? Learn how to be proactive and get your relationship back to where it used to be.
Postpartum depression can be brought on by changes in hormone levels that occur after pregnancy. Any woman can get postpartum depression in the months after childbirth, miscarriage, or stillbirth.
Is your low libido causing problems in your relationship? Are you unable to keep up with your spouse's sex drive? Good news: you're not alone. How Can I Divorce-Proof My Marriage? In this instructional sex video, Licensed Mental Health Counselor and YourTango Expert Janie Lacy explains that it's common — especially for women — to experience this problem. Her advice?
I am with a man who used to be very passionate and loved to make love to me and now he doesn't make love to me at all and its been this way for a couple of years now. He is 9 years older than me and I am 56. I am very attraction, sexually appealing, so men tell me, and have a positive attitude and am very kind and understanding. We don't even sleep in the same bed anymore. He says he loves me and we will be together forever and he's a nice man and is respectful but I miss the passion that was once there.
Are you in a committed relationship with a man who refuses to have sex with you? If so, you are NOT alone. Many women are sexually unfulfilled in their partnerships. Take comfort in knowing this and in knowing that, in most cases, his lack of desire has NOTHING to do with him thinking you are not beautiful or in good enough physical shape for him to want to enjoy your body through sex.
Traditional advice suggests "spicing things up" with toys or bedroom games, but it's hard to imagine finding the enthusiasm to browse at a sex store when simply thinking about doing the deed exhausts you. Sexuality coach Pamela Madsen suggests an unusual approach: reading.
According to a group of new studies, young women between the ages of 18 and 30 are suffering from low libido at rates never seen before: 43 percent of women have sexual problems, they say. And 1 in 10 women doesn't want to have sex at all, trumpeted a recent ABC News story. The weird part isn't the fact that women are reporting what experts like to call "sexual dysfunction," but that women this young are: Usually we think of sexual issues as the stuff that plagues the over-40 set. But sexperts are now blaming 20-somethings with low libido on everything from stress (we're worried about our jobs/working longer hours) to birth control/antidepressants (both are potent chemical cocktails that can make lust dry up), and, well, Hollywood.
I've dated several guys who, from what I can tell, have a take it or leave it attitude toward sex, with an emphasis on leaving it. Why, you may ask, did I, someone who writes about sex almost every day, wind up with them? I don't really know, but I did. And the worst part about it is not the physical withdrawal; I'm not the kind of girl who needs to do it every day (though that would be nice). The worst part is the feeling of rejection that cuts really, really close to home. When I experience that, it's like taking all the fears I have about my attractiveness and boiling them into one pointed barb: you're not pretty/sexy/fun/cool/hot/exciting enough to f**k.
It seems in our world today, a lot of women (more than your think) have trouble becoming aroused. Call it stress, blame it on the economy, or fault low hormone levels, doctors are still trying to figure out why some ladies just can't get their sex drive.
Last week, a penile fracture was featured during prime time television, so it comes as no surprise that your man may already be scared to death about doing the deed. If you can't drag him into bed now–and you can thank Dr. McSteamy, or better yet, Little Grey–this news certainly won't redeem your sex life: recent research from Nottingham University shows that men might have even more cause for concern when it comes to safety and sex, or at least sex drive. A retrospective study of the sex and masturbation habits of 800 men has linked frequent sexual activity to increased risk of developing cancer.
Some advocates think that Bio-identical Hormone Replacement Therapy could be the best solution for flagging sex drive. Essentially, a person's hormone levels are measured and returned to a more robust level and balance. Critics are weary of side-effects.