Jane Garapick is the popular writer of GettingToTrueLove.com. Her mission is to provide words of wisdom during tough times. Originally from Vancouver, British Columbia, Jane now lives in Washington State with her husband and two children. In her early career, Jane volunteered as a suicide prevention counselor and conducted workshops to high school students who were at risk.
LOVE & FEELINGS
Relationships can come unglued for so many reasons -- lack of satisfying sex, boredom, money conflicts, infidelity, etc. However, in working with thousands of singles and couples from around the globe, I have discovered that men have deep needs that if not met, will lead them to intentionally or unintentionally sabotage your relationship. These 'secret' relationship wreckers are rarely spoken of because they are shame-inducing and often, hidden to the man himself.
May 3 is National Lumpy Rug Day which is basically means it' time to do some spring cleaning and get rid of a lot of your junk. Literally, the lumps in the rug usually come from the furniture that has been sitting around in the same place for ages but in close relationships, those lumps come from sweeping things under the rug.
Everyone is a mixed bag, the kindest person will become irate at times, and the meanest person can be found every now and then throwing some change at a homeless person. Dating, that effervescent mix of loneliness, want, desire and impatience, leads to blurry vision. How do you know when the person who is sharply ordering that second dessert to the slow waitress is mean or just having a bad day?
Have you ever dated someone with a really awesome hobby, like martial arts or astronomy? During the early stages of courtship, it can mean the difference between “he’s nice, but I dunno” and “OMG, he could name a star after me the same way Shane West named a star after Mandy Moore in ‘A Walk to Remember.’”
After attending an event in San Francisco on my birthday(February 23), I decided to take BART home. When I arrived on the train, I noticed there were no seats available. I found myself getting angry and complaining to myself about the situation. Moments later, I noticed a man with cerebral palsy enter the train. He was struggling with some packages in his hands and one of them tore, and fell on the floor.
BodyTalk piqued my interest and curiosity led me to try it out. When BodyTalk practitioner and life coach Heather Strang offered a “Manifest True Love” workshop series in Portland, Oregon it was a gamble that paid off. Fear began to unravel and the truth started to pierce holes in my fear’s arguments about life, love, and people. Vulnerability started to emerge and it gave me many moments of feeling unsafe.
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Definition of "Pure Love"- an over abundance of self-love that spontaneously flows out to others and continues to effortlessly replenish itself. How is Pure Love Expressed? Pure Love can only be expressed through Love that has no filters and needs nothing in return. If love is expressed through fear, jealousy, scarcity or any type of need or expectation, it is not the true essence of love. It is a mere shadow of what it is meant to be. Pure Love can only be expressed through a clear channel.
Perhaps there is someone new in your life. You want to let them know you are falling in love with them but not sure how. Maybe you have been seeing someone for a little while now. You realize that you are ready to deepen the bond or take things to a new level but you don’t want to screw it up. Perhaps there is someone special who has been in your life for a very long time. You are seeking fresh new ways to demonstrate your love and affection, but are drawing a blank. When it comes to communicating love, a generic one size fits all approach simply will not do.
When you find your mate, the world suddenly seems right. You are loved, your love is received. You believe that this is the absolutely best way to live. Warning! Those stronger positive feelings are only part of the package. All of your negative feelings will be stronger, too. Arguments, fears, and struggles over how to spend time together are much stronger with a new love than with a new friend.
Poems have been written about it. Songs have been sung about it. Researchers spend hours toiling in their labs trying to come up with a formula for it. However, the question has remained a mystery until now. We perpetually ask and wait with baited breath for the answer to the question, “How do we keep love alive?”