I had a recent experience that accidentally pointed out a powerful truth about the way we operate as people. Understanding this truth makes all the difference between whether your relationships will improve and change for the better, or continue to stay the same and disappoint you.
We are attracted to each other at our common level of woundedness and our common level of health. What does this mean? For example, Jackson, a very attractive man in his early 50s, had been married three times and had been in many relationships. He consulted with me because he was tired of going from relationship to relationship. He wanted a long-term relationship. "Even though each relationship seems to be very different than the last one, in the end they all turn out to be the same."
Staying in love forever? Is that really possible? It certainly is although you would never know it given all the attention problem relationships receive. If you’re married or in a committed relationship in love feelings are what make that relationship unique. When partners promise to “love honor and cherish” one another they are in effect promising to stay “in love”.
Intimacy is an essential part of a loving relationship. But what is intimacy, really? It is being present and open to each other. Intimacy starts with being relaxed and comfortable with each other and progresses to sharing thoughts, feelings, kisses and caresses. Robert and Shelly made a lot of progress in their therapy with me. They were communicating better about important issues such as finances and resolving disputes, but they both felt something was missing. As Shelly put it, “I feel lonely at times even when we are together.”
We've all been there, those nervous hours (and for some of us that are more anxiety prone, days) before a date with a guy you either just met or recently started dating that you're just so, well, into. You want to make a good impression and you start obsessing about everything from your hair, to what on earth you're going to wear, to those extra few pounds that you want to lose so badly. It's enough to drive a beautiful single girl crazy, and for most of us that's exactly what it does.
Tantra has been nicknamed "the science of ecstasy". Many assume that Tantra is simply the art of sex. Tantra expands our capacity for pleasure, yet it is much more. Tantra is about living life well and being more alive in the present moment. Tantra is the art of love.
When you first start dating someone, it is easy to get caught up in the whirlwind of excitement and anticipation. You feel an attraction, like the way this person makes you feel, and believe he or she has the qualities that you are looking for. After a few dates, you might even conclude that there is a future here for you and the answer to your relationship woes. And even though you have only known this person for two or three weeks, you feel like you’ve known this person forever.
When I was single and doing all of workshops and classes and reading all the books that eventually helped me find my soulmate Johnny, I remember one overall message: Want MORE love? You’ve got to GIVE more love. This always annoyed me. I mean, WTF? I remember hearing that idea over and over again in different ways and wondering how is it possible for me to give MORE of something I’m LOOKING for?
If you were working with a personal trainer to get in shape, you might ask how long it would take to lose x number of pounds or to tone up x amount. The answer is that it depends on how much time and effort you devote to the process. If you work out three hours a day, you are going to get in shape much faster than if you work out three hours a week. The same is true for dating. As a dating coach I have worked with clients who found love after just six weeks, and others who took over a year. The difference is that people who found love in six weeks spent 4-6 hours a night searching.
We use a lot of energy cleaning our external environment without realizing the importance of cleaning our internal environment. Self-imposed barriers keeping us from love are part of this internal environment. It took me decades to realize that time spent cleaning out my closet was better spent cleaning out barriers keeping me from love. In the process of uncovering and understanding my barriers, I learned 6 lessons that helped me create true love. I share these lessons in hopes that they help you have the love you desire.
By Dating Diva, Jennifer Oikle, Ph.D., for GalTime.com tips for that first date conversation The night you’ve been waiting for is finally here. You’re going out with HIM. You’re so eager to get to know him better. Let's be honest... you want to let him experience the real you. But hold on. It’s make it or break it time. You only get one, somewhat delicate, chance to make a first impression.
By The Women's Insider, Camille Perkins, for GalTime.com are you scaring mr. right away? Ladies, have you been wondering why your friends have an easy time dating and maintaining their relationships but somehow you have difficulty maintaining your romances? Have you been noticing a trend in the way that your relationships end? If you answered yes, it may be time to consider that the problem may be YOU.
We all had that one person that got away. Whether it was timing, or they moved, or just things got to hard because of one of their lives. But how many people do you want to say in your life that, they were the one and they just got away from no fault of their own, but because of you?
The other day, I was talking on the phone with a 38 year old potential client who told me that she had lost all hope of finding her soulmate. When I asked why, she told me that she has this belief that she just doesn’t get to have what she wants and that she doesn’t deserve soulmate love. She also said that she’s having a really tough time getting over the heartache of her past relationship with her ex-husband, thinking that her getting a divorce is a signal that something inherently wrong with her.
You are a woman; you are single and you are trying so hard to succeed at everything you do. What's a woman supposed to do? Do more? Try harder? Fix every single thing? This is the old paradigm of dating. Embrace the new paradigm of dating: giving up!
By Rachel Greenwald | genConnect "How did you get such a fun job?" I'm frequently asked. Well, I'm 48 years old now, but not too long ago I graduated from Harvard Business School (okay, it was 19 years ago, but it feels like yesterday). I was on the business fast-track selling designer water to supermodels at Fashion Week in New York City.