Do you fear making the wrong choice in marriage and have anxiety about making your relationship permanent, even though you feel in love? You are not alone. One of the most frequently asked questions I hear as a relationship coach is, "How will I know without a doubt this person is the right one to marry?"
Whether it's declaring your love to your longtime crush or cooking a surprise dinner for your husband before he gets home from work — sometimes, people don't acknowledge these gifts of love and that can leave you feeling unappreciated. An expert explains why others misunderstand our acts of love.
From April through June, YourTango will feature tons of hot steamy articles, videos, and photo galleries devoted to the most sensual side of being in a committed relationship. Check back every day for juicy tips on how to spice up your usual date night by incorporating aphrodisiac cocktails (it's true; they really do heat things up), advice for reliving your favorite memories together, ways to incorporate some tasty treats into your usual foreplay routine — and lots more.
I was having lunch with Dr. Marty Klein last week, author of the groundbreaking book, "Sexual Intelligence." After we'd ordered our shrimp dumplings and pot stickers, I asked him, "Okay, Marty, what would you say, in general, is the number one thing that couples could do to improve their sex lives?" He paused over the steaming shrimp.
We had the honor and the privilege to be invited to the lovely home of one of our clients last weekend. We got to sit down with her and her soulmate husband, and to snuggle with their little baby too. It was so fun and yet so tender and meaningful for all of us… because we remember when she first started working with us about 2 years ago. 2 short years. Not that long ago, really.
Perhaps there is someone new in your life. You want to let them know you are falling in love with them but not sure how. Maybe you have been seeing someone for a little while now. You realize that you are ready to deepen the bond or take things to a new level but you don’t want to screw it up. Perhaps there is someone special who has been in your life for a very long time. You are seeking fresh new ways to demonstrate your love and affection, but are drawing a blank. When it comes to communicating love, a generic one size fits all approach simply will not do.
It was another Saturday night alone for me as a single woman. I sat in my apartment feeling very alone, unworthy, and rejected. I remember lying there on my bed in the fetal position, after a particularly painful breakup (with a man I had hoped was my soulmate) earlier in the day. The problem was, this scene that I’m describing was not an unusual occurrence in my life. I’d had this happen before. Me, sobbing, writing in my journal, and then calling a girlfriend to do a tear-filled, curse-word-filled, post-mortem on the relationship. Can you relate?
When I was single, I remember getting together with my single-and-hating-it girlfriends one night to do a “vision party”. We cut out magazines and inspirational words of our ideal lives with our soulmates to put into a vision binder. This was over 14 years ago, way before the movie The Secret came out and the “Law of Attraction” became such a common phrase. We spoke blessings over our visions. We drank wine. We cried. We laughed. And even saged our visions, lit candles, burned incense. We were going to manifest our soulmates, dammit!
As you may have noticed, happiness is not the mind’s priority. It is far more interested in survival and creating familiarity than it is in happiness. Happiness is something that we have to decide to experience and then learn what are the internal levers that act to become our personal happiness generators. Happiness is an inside job. Period. End of story. It is truly a state of mind, and it is our responsibility as adults to finally get this then learn how to create states of mind that generate more happiness.
Poems have been written about it. Songs have been sung about it. Researchers spend hours toiling in their labs trying to come up with a formula for it. However, the question has remained a mystery until now. We perpetually ask and wait with baited breath for the answer to the question, “How do we keep love alive?”
Sure, you adore your kids, but let's face it, they sure make it tough for you to enjoy a spontaneous sexual romp with their dad. So, if you are in the mood for some adult time this Valentines Day, here are five ways to fan the heat without splurging on a sitter or a fancy restaurant.