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Experts Blog

Is It Love Or Emotional Dependency?

Falling in love can come from two different inner states. When you fall in love from the wounded self – the ego self – you are in love with how the other person loves you. You are handing over to the other person the responsibility for your self-worth and wellbeing, and if he or she does a good job of attending to you in the way you want to be attended to, then you may say you are “in love.” However, it is not so much the person you love, but how he or she loves you and connects with you. When it feels as if you can’t live without the other person, it is emotional dependency. The part of you that is ‘in love’ is really a child or adolescent who is needy for love because you are not giving love to yourself or to others. There is an emptiness inside that you expect someone else to fill, because you are not taking responsibility for your own feelings of aliveness, joy, passion and self-worth. You are attaching your worth to another’s love, which is why you can’t live without that person.

“Love Architect” Kailen Rosenberg Constructs Relationships
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“Love Architect” Kailen Rosenberg Constructs Relationships

By CupidsPulse.com Kailen Rosenberg is a nationally respected Elite Matchmaker, who has helped many singles and couples find and restore love throughout the years, including celebrities, CEO’s and public figures. She has a gift for bringing you back to the person you really are deep-down inside and helping you to shed the hard-coated exterior that society has forced you to wear. Rosenberg is best described as a “love architect.”

What Makes A Man Feel Validated On Dates?
Experts Blog

What Makes A Man Feel Validated On Dates?

If you’ve ever seen any type of dating advice about how to make someone feel special on a date, the advice is usually geared toward guys who want to make a woman feel special. But what about the woman who wants to go out of her way to make her man feel special? Men love validation just as much, if not more than women, and it is important to show him that you appreciate him. Here are the ABCD’s of making him feel as special as he makes you feel.

Love Outlook: Update Your Fairytale
Experts Blog

Love Outlook: Update Your Fairytale

As children, most girls are introduced to Disney movies before the ability to speak in complete sentences. While Cinderella, Beauty and the Beast and The Little Mermaid are inspirational on many levels, the fairytale element is the same: Guy likes girl, guy woos girl, guy and girl live happily ever after.

Keeping Love Alive
Experts Blog

Keeping Love Alive

When I was 24 years old I fell madly in love. I was madly in love for three weeks, and then spent the next 30 years struggling to regain and maintain that wonderful feeling. In the course of my long marriage and in the many years I've been counseling individuals and couples, I've learned what it takes to keep love alive, and what diminishes the feelings and experience of love.

5 Relationship Killers and How to Avoid Them
Experts Blog

5 Relationship Killers and How to Avoid Them

As a relationship counselor, I am constantly being asked why so many relationships fail. In the many years that I have worked with couples, I have discovered five major relationship killers: Controlling Behavior Most people enter a relationship with a deep fear of rejection, and this fear motivates various forms of controlling behavior. Controlling behavior falls into two major categories – overt control and covert control.

girl kissing frog
Experts Blog

Secrets Of A Spiritual Relationship: 3 Real Truths About Love

Many of us have been raised to think that we will find love when prince charming comes to rescue us on his big white horse. Obviously, we're too old to believe in fairy tales now, but subconsciously, our expectations are still the same. We believe that until we have the right partner, love will remain a distant dream, when in fact, nothing could be further from the truth. By accepting the following three fundamental truths about love, you will be on your way to developing new patterns and finding the love you want.

taylor swift jane austen
Love Buzz

Love Wisdom Across The Ages: Taylor Swift Vs. Jane Austen

The pop star is taking her lovelorn anthems—including her new single "Sparks Fly"—across the country in one of the biggest tours this summer, but her lyrics seem to have gotten a little help from a literary predecessor. Can you guess which lines are by the young songstress and which were penned by the "Pride and Prejudice" author?

Stop Talking! How  to Spice Up Your Relationship
Experts Blog

Stop Talking! How to Spice Up Your Relationship

It really is as simple as making the other person feel connected. Guess what? DON'T FOCUS ON TALKING! Or pouting, or slamming doors, or happily acting like everything's ok. Often the results of talking things out end in further frustration and alienation. In no way am I saying don't discuss big and small issues with your partner. What I am saying is that if you or your partner do not feel CONNECTED to the relationship, then trying to talk about ANYTHING is not going to work at making you feel loved, valued, or heard.

Do You Intimidate Men?
Experts Blog

Do You Intimidate Men?

As a matchmaker and dating coach in Washington, DC, a town full of sharp, successful, powerful women, I often hear the line, “Men are intimated by me”.  When I hear this, I listen patiently and empathetically and then, when the time is right, I explain that it’s just not true. I speak with men every single day, and I have the inside scoop - the 411 on how men really feel.

Blind Date couple
Community

How To Have A Successful Blind Date

A Marine is about to get the date of his lifetime. In a YouTube video, Sgt. Scott Moore invited Mila Kunis to attend the Marine Corps Ball in Greenville, North Carolina, on November 18 with him. After some prodding from Kunis' Friends With Benefits co-star Justin Timberlake, the Black Swan beauty agreed. While the event is still a few months away, we thought we'd share five tips to help make a blind date go a little more smoothly — whether you're in the public spotlight or not!

Is This the Right Person for Me?
Experts Blog

Is This the Right Person for Me?

"How will I know when I meet the right person?" I often hear this question in my counseling practice. The answer is fairly complex. There are two different reasons that people have for wanting to get married: • To get love, validation, security and safety. • To share love and to grow emotionally and spiritually.

Do You Play the Blame Game?
Experts Blog

Do You Play the Blame Game?

A 2009 article in O magazine reported on a study conducted at Stanford with over 1500 participants, looking at what differentiated partners in happy, healthy relationships from people who were disappointed and unhappy. The only indicator that had an impact on long-term satisfaction: blaming your partner for problems in the relationship!

Fear Of Intimacy
Experts Blog

Fear Of Intimacy

Emotional intimacy is one of the most wonderful experiences we ever have. Nothing else really comes close to the experience of sharing our deepest thoughts and feelings with another, of being deeply seen and known, of sharing love, passion, creativity, laughter and joy. The experience of intimacy fills our souls and takes away our loneliness.

Living in the Present & Letting Go of Future Fears
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Living in the Present & Letting Go of Future Fears

So much of our suffering comes from not living in the present. When we are not living in the present, we are not “experiencing” life as precious. Anxiety has to do with anticipating a future moment that turns out unlike the way we would like and then resisting that future experience in our minds and bodies. We are basically fighting against a future moment that has not taken place.