It might be one of the hardest and most important questions of a lifetime. When is it time to call it quits on a relationship? I get asked that question regularly and most of the time, by the time that question is on the table, a break up is imminent. However, with break ups and in life, timing is everything and getting that timing right is the difference between feeling good about what you did or lamenting the “could have beens” for years to come.
Many people don't believe in the adage, "Do what you love and the money will follow," and, consequently, they spend years in unfulfilling jobs. They know, deep inside, that there is more to life (and to work) than what they’re currently doing, but they don’t believe that they can actually make a living doing something they REALLY love to do.
Today’s article is different than others I have written, because I want to tell you about a very personal experience that changed me forever. First of all, it’s important that you understand that my field of study, as well as my practice in life, is about helping others change. It is difficult work, and what I have noticed is that most people really don’t change. If they do, they are inspired from an inner source or a fear of losing what they value most. I guess that what makes my story even more meaningful to me is the way it has forever changed my life.
Did you know, that: 1. When you are engaged in relationship, the truth of your relationship is reflected in your interactions, whether you are conscious of it or not. 2. No matter what words you use and how you choose to communicate consciously, there is an underlying energetic current that gives your words their true meaning. 3. This under current can either nurture or destroy your relationship.
Imagine that you are a hologram made of the fragments of your past, fantasies about future and collective perceptions you learned from people in your life. When a wrong word is said or something else reminds you about your past disappointments or betrayal, you lose yourself in this memory and unconsciously leave the present moment.
At the age of seven, I made a choice. I decided that the only life I wanted was one where I was living fully and experiencing it. Watching from the sidelines isn't enough for me. It's not to say there weren't times in my life where I ended up benching myself. That's where I put myself during the years I was stuck in my grief. But it was uncomfortable, painful and so foreign to me.
Today I thought I’d share some of my favorite ways to eat a little healthier, without even noticing that I’m doing it. Now, I should probably confess that I genuinely ENJOY eating healthy. I am one of those people who actually gets excited when I see things like brown rice, tempeh, and kale on the menu. With that said, I do not eat every single meal in a vegan, macrobiotic restaurant (though I would sorta, kinda love that).
Falling in love with you, will make it more likely the RIGHT person can fall in love with you too. One of the questions I often get is when is it time to start dating again after a break up or divorce. There are a lot of standard formula’s to answer that question and honestly I have a standard answer or two, I throw out at times.
In another lifetime ago, as many of my readers know, I was married to a man that never stopped dating. Let’s just say he had more then one affair. Many of them were one nighters or little flings. One was a full blown relationship on the side. When I found out about this relationship, we agreed to get counseling. I agreed to stay. He agreed to call it off. However, it didn’t take long before all signs pointed to the fact that he was still seeing her. We’ll call her Kelly.
You can't depend on anyone else to maintain your boundaries. That's an inside job. I recently had a conversation with a friend of mine, Kelsy, who was beside herself because her recent ex-boyfriend was not respecting her boundaries. She was laying them down very clearly, but he kept crossing the line. Sometimes he was stepping on the line, sometimes he was only one foot over the line.
An interesting life is incredibly attractive whether you want to attract or keep a man. When I was fifteen I had a break up I thought would kill me. Sadness descended in our home with such fierceness that my father still calls it the “semester of the never ending dark night.”
Lately, I’ve really started to pay attention to the little things, especially in movies and television and even books. I have been trying to zero in on the little throwaway lines that are used. These lines are usually spoken in an offhanded manor and quickly dismissed to go onto another part of the conversation. And one line keeps coming up over and over and it is starting to really irritate me.
When did lace ankle socks, white patent leather mary jane’s, a new pastel spring dress, kid gloves, and a new Easter bonnet that complementarily matched your grandma, mom, and sister fade out of style? When did waking up early before the birds as your family got ready for Easter sunrise service go out of style? Why do we wistfully look to kids to bring back the nostalgia of our own childhood, and what each new spring brings to a sleeping world: a chance to begin anew? When is the last time you wore an Easter bonnet?
Warning: The following statement may not make sense at first glance. The worst time to fight is when you’re mad. I know that might seem like a contradictory thought. However, when anger comes up it’s usually because there is an issue that needs addressing or a problem that needs solving. Anyone who’s ever had a fight, (which is pretty much anyone at all) knows the energy of anger itself is not conducive to problem solving.
They say that if you take care of your money, it will eventually take care of you. Sounds simple enough, doesn't it? It raises the question, though: How strong a caregiver are you? I like to think of it this way: In the giddy, blissful early days of a new relationship, the stars seems to align and everything in the relationship flows. We're in looove. We are constantly thinking about one another, calling all the time, checking in frequently, delighting in each other's tiniest quirks and relishing every moment spent together.
How often do you talk yourself out of taking action? How often do you say to yourself: "Yeah, I suppose I could start working on a new career, BUT.....," "I guess I could finally tackle the clutter in this apartment, BUT.....," "I know I could make more of an effort to be healthy, BUT....". What's up with that? Why so quick with the 'but'?