In a recent study, at the University Of Notre Dame, Anita Kelly, a Psychology Professor, reported that when peoples lies went up during the week, their health went down. Conversely, she reported that when people’s lies decreased, their overall health improved. This is amazing news, connecting our emotional life with our physical wellbeing. Anyone who has ever attended a 12 step meeting knows that addiction and lies go hand in hand.
It’s understandable that couples are wary about bringing up sensitive topics. The avoidance of pain and distress are major motivators to go into hiding. But too much avoidance can lead to marital corrosion. So how can this difficult problem be managed? Because of the extra length, this month’s column is divided into two parts with the second part finishing next month.
You come home to find your partner unsteady on her feet. The smell of alcohol is overpowering. Every time she opens her mouth another wave of boozy smell washes over you and her eyes are glazed. However when you say “You have been drinking!” quick as a flash back comes the reply “No I haven’t”.
A recent survey of over 100 mental health professionals puts to rest some longstanding myths about infidelity. YourTango Experts posed 23 probing questions to its members in an attempt to understand the apparent epidemic that plagues so many American couples today. Namely, the survey sought to uncover who cheats most (men or women), why, the impact of infidelity on relationships and how couples fare after one or both parties has cheated. The results were astounding.
Every relationship has some amount of financial infidelity. It might be as minor as not telling your spouse what you really spent on her birthday gift, or as major as keeping a secret bank account or credit card. The bottom line: no matter how big or how small the financial infidelity is, it is a relationship killer.
GOSHEN, N.Y. — A New York woman admitted Wednesday that she faked cancer to con donors out of money and services for her wedding and Caribbean honeymoon.
One question that comes up often in my practice as a couples therapist is the issue of "falling out of love." You’ve been in love with someone for 6-12 months, maybe longer, and you start to wonder whether this is going to last. Are you going to stay together, settle down, or is it time to move on? If the latter is on your mind, what happened? Sister Souls
Secrets are felt energetically so it’s important to share and be clear with your partner, and to be truthful with yourself. Share your fears with your partner because secrets can threaten the trust. The place from within that is holding the secret can shut down your heart and create a barrier in the relationship. It’s important to keep an open flow of communication. If you are hiding something, an open heart will sense it.
Reality and truth travel a very narrow path. What is the truth? It actually is a perception. There is no proof in the universe that anything is a truth. Many things perceived as truths have been disavowed after more is discovered. So in terms of relationship, where is the line between truth and a lie, or truth and dishonesty? What does it mean to have truth in a relationship?
What's in a number anyway? My philosophy has always been that as long as my number of sexual partners is less than my age, then I'm doing okay.
We've all seen the studies and reports that expose online daters for what they really are: liars. OK, not all online daters lie but many have been found to misrepresent themselves, whether it be about their weight, age, salary, etc. This may seem like a bad thing but according to a new study, users are OK with certain online misrepresentations.
There are people in the world who don't care about love. They don't even know what love is. But they do care about power, control and sex. Unfortunately, I learned about sociopaths the hard way—by marrying one. If your new romantic interest exhibits the following behaviors, be careful. One or two traits don't mean much, but if you see most or all of them, he or she might be a sociopath.
Reading Montgomery's claims now, one could wonder why anyone—specifically me—would believe them. But this was before we all knew that online profiles are full of lies. It was before I knew that sociopaths did not necessarily look like Charles Manson, with long scraggly hair and a swastika etched into his forehead. And it was before I knew that someone who proclaimed he was so head-over-heels in love with me could be lying.
How long has it been since you got divorced or went through an intense break-up? Do you feel like you’re A-OK again, or no? Are you confident you’ve put your grief to bed, that you've got your life and emotions well under control? The following video may – or may not – cause you to rethink your handle on your divorce/ break-up. In it, I reveal the two most common ways that women bury their feelings of loss. But the scary part is most women aren't even aware they're doing it.
I've been hearing alot these days in my practice about lies. From seemingly small "it won't hurt anyone" fibs to large-scale whoppers, my clients' lives are being shaken - and sometimes levelled - by lies and deceit. I understand it on an intellectual level: a lie is a margin, a step away from the edge. Or, a lie can be a disguise, a mask, a perceived protection from pain and anxiety. But, as I tell my clients, a lie always makes it worse - no matter what "it" is.
He cheated. Now you know the truth. What are you going to do? All those little white lies and bigger and bigger lies he had been telling had you tied up in knots. You wanted so much to believe him, to trust that he was really faithful and just busy. You wanted so much to forgive him for neglecting you, letting you down, disappointing you because you felt he really has good intentions and he really loves you.