Demanding higher relationship quality and committing too quickly are all reasons as to why lesbians have the highest divorce rate in any kind of marriage!
In the first part of this series, we explored the reason why so many lesbians and queer women struggle with difficult feelings when our partner seems to get too far away – or when she seems to get too close. Because these feelings (which we call “primal abandonment panic,” or PAP, and “primal engulfment panic,” or PEP) have such deep roots in our brains and psyches, they can wreak havoc in our intimate relationships.
“We live in different towns, and Susan hardly ever wants to talk on the phone,” Elise said tearfully. “It makes me feel so rejected, like I’m not worthy of her time and attention.” “I love Elise, but I’ve got a really busy life,” Susan explained. “Talking on the phone sometimes feels like too much at the end of a long day. And when Elise gets too demanding, it makes me not want to talk at all.”
Getting back into the swing of dating after a breakup is a process. This personal development coach explains why you need to give yourself time to heal and reevaluate your desires and goals.
A case in New York involving two women that have been together for 14 years (and living together for at least 11 of them) shows the need for some rules regarding domestic breakups. In the UK, cohabiting partners have some legal rights. In the US and outside of common law marriage, they do not. People can sign certain protective documents, but outside of those there is no real legal leg to stand on.
A New York court recently rule (5-0, we might add) that weddings that took place in Canada are valid in the NY. Even if these marriages are of the gay variety. Though state law defines marriage as between one man and one woman. This may get interesting.
In a stunning reversal, the Rhode Island supreme court has ruled that a gay couple married in Massachusetts cannot receive a divorce in RI. This is the second such high-profile case that has denied lesbians a divorce because their state does not recognize the union in the first place.