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Dream On: Why Sexual Fantasies Are Good For You
Love Buzz

Dream On: Why Sexual Fantasies Are Good For You

One of the quickest and most assured routes to sexual arousal is through fantasy. We use our imaginative capacity all the time during our waking lives as we envision all the possible futures that our daily life could result in; or even in the most negative of circumstances when we allow ourselves to ruminate and over-think bad outcomes for our relationships and aspirations. Yet when it comes to the mysterious sexual fantasy life that lives somewhere in all of us we often keep the door locked.

Men- More than Eye Candy!
Experts Blog

Men- More than Eye Candy!

FACT: Women do it all the time.                      Sitting around with their BFF’s and man watching! The cute face, the broad shoulders, the smoldering eyes and mmm, mmm, mmm the muscles! We can’t help that they conjure up naughty thoughts! But after you meet them, get to know them, and look beyond the surface, some men completely disappoint you. Why?

Keeping Love Alive
Experts Blog

Keeping Love Alive

When I was 24 years old I fell madly in love. I was madly in love for three weeks, and then spent the next 30 years struggling to regain and maintain that wonderful feeling. In the course of my long marriage and in the many years I've been counseling individuals and couples, I've learned what it takes to keep love alive, and what diminishes the feelings and experience of love.

4 reasons you may be alone, over 35, female and not married
Experts Blog

4 reasons you may be alone, over 35, female and not married

More and more I am surrounded by women over 35 years of age who want to get married, but cannot find a suitable partner. They have heard the best places to go for singles over 35, have been set up on numerous blind dates, have joined online dating, and still don’t have a ring on their finger. These women are educated, have a great job, great homes, gorgeous, and would make the perfect wife. What’s wrong? When I talk with these women, many think the problem may rest with the guys.

Is His Scent Making You Swoon? Could Be The Pheromone Phenomenon!
Experts Blog

Is His Scent Making You Swoon? Could Be The Pheromone Phenomenon!

So, my husband borrowed my body wash, and I am still waiting to get it back. He forgot to buy some during our prior trip to the store and he was yelling from the shower, “I need some soap!!!” I went into the shower carrying my body wash and with a smirk said, “This is all I got, but it smells girly”. He rolled his eyes, yanked it from my hands and closed the curtain.

5 ways to re-invent your Relationship after Chronic Illness
Experts Blog

5 ways to re-invent your Relationship after Chronic Illness

“It takes a really big man to love a really big scar.” –Carly Simon I worked for nine years in Lubbock, Texas as an intimacy and sex counselor for cancer patients. They taught me more than any textbook or class. I celebrated their success with them, prayed for their healing with them, and sat by their bedside with their loved one when they took their last breaths. Many people would call that a depressing job, but I never lived as fully as when I worked with this population.

Communication Using Imago
Experts Blog

Communication Using Imago

COMMUNICATION USING IMAGO By Tammy Nelson, PhD The Imago Dialogue process is a type of communication developed by Harville Hendrix, the bestselling author of Getting the Love You Want, a book about communication and couple’s therapy.  The dialogue is a structured technique that you can use to talk to communicate when you are frustrated or just want to feel closer.  This dialogue  is a wayto talk about conflict in your relationship that lets you each feel heard.  To practice the technique, first ask your partner,

The Cure of Foreplay
Experts Blog

The Cure of Foreplay

“Sex without foreplay is like song’s reff without intro.” — Toba Beta   I have been grappling with the statistic that the average amount of foreplay that couples engage in is between 1-4 minutes, as reported on a recent Dr. Oz segment.

swingers
Community

How To Rebuild A Relationship After Swinging

My wife and I tried swinging several years ago. It was exciting and fun to plan dates and it brought up surprising aspects of our sexuality. It also brought up some powerful emotions, which we were able to work through, although after some of the couples we were dating dropped us, the experience hit my wife really hard and we stopped not only swinging, but having sex altogether.

couple snuggling
Community

Forget Sex, Men Need To Snuggle

Just when I thought we could no longer be surprised by sex research, a new study by the Kinsey Institute for Sex Gender and Reproduction yielded a set of unusual findings. Contrary to popular opinion, this new study found that men, who kiss and cuddle, are three times more happy than those who don’t. Imagine that. In other words, men who were more in touch with their kinder, gentler, “coochier” side were more likely to experience satisfaction in their long term relationships.

Hugs not sex will save your relationship
Experts Blog

Hugs not sex will save your relationship

For a Healthy Relationship, Never Say No to Cuddling When couples come to see me with their first complaint being that they haven’t had sex in several months, there is palpable tension. They panic, and search for reasons why. When sex is going well, it is 5% of the relationship. However, when sex isn’t going well, it may become 95% of the relationship. A recent study reported in the Daily Mail suggested that more important than sex for a couple’s happiness and health is cuddling. Cuddling provides many benefits besides a sense of security and closeness.

Why Marital Sex Often Dies
Experts Blog

Why Marital Sex Often Dies

Research indicates that over 55% of married women are not interested in having sex with their husbands. I've worked with many men who also are not interested in sex with their wives. The problem is generally not a lack of sexual desire - it's that they are not interested in sex with their partner. Why?

tug of war giving and taking
Experts Blog

Do You Give Too Much Or Too Little To Your Relationships?

We all give every day—to our partners, friends, family, neighbors, jobs and community. While it's healthy and vital to help the ones we love, many of us struggle to balance these needs with our own. This can lead to trouble: either we become too self-absorbed, or we find it hard to say "No" to others in order to have a little "me" time. As part of our Love Starts Within spotlight, we asked some of our Experts to share their advice on how to grapple with these demands from multiple angles:

Healing Conflicting Desire
Experts Blog

Healing Conflicting Desire

“Pick battles big enough to matter, small enough to win.” -Jonathon Kozol Most of the arguments that couples have about their sex lives are not about sex. Sex is the container, where we are most acutely aware of the spaces in our relationship that fail to connect, that make us feel small, unloved, invisible, and that reflect our deepest conflicts.

The Art of Receiving Pleasure
Experts Blog

The Art of Receiving Pleasure

“There is a secret about human love that is commonly overlooked: Receiving it is much more scary and threatening than giving it. How many times in your life have you been unable to let in someone’s love or even pushed it away? Much as we proclaim the wish to be truly loved, we are often afraid of that, and so find it difficult to open to love or let it all the way in.” –John Welwood

Men, Women and Sex
Experts Blog

Men, Women and Sex

During my many years of counseling couples, I have frequently worked with the sexual problems that often occur in committed relationships. The most common complaint from men regarding sex is frequency, and the most common complaint from woman is lack of emotional intimacy. There is a very good reason why these are the most common complaints - men and women are very different when it comes to sex!