What’s the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the phrase “erotic talk”? Well, if you said, “talking dirty”, your answer is the one I most often receive whenever I pose that question. In fact, in a survey I conducted of 300 men and women, that was precisely the most popular response. Yet, as I explain in my book The Fine Art of Erotic Talk (Bantam/Random House), explicit sex talk is just one aspect of the powerful role that words can play in our sex lives.
INTIMACY AND SEX
How would you rate yourself in the bedroom? This is a question we should all ask ourselves and maybe our partner. If you don’t want to hear the answer, chances are, you may not be. Becoming a good lover starts from wanting to be.
As a Dating Coach, Matchmaker, and former therapist my job is to help clients uncover patterns of behavior that sabotage their goal of finding love. My specialty is preparing Singles over 40 to return to the dating world, date more mindfully, and gain the highest level of results in their dating lives. Having worked as a Dating Coach and Matchmaker since 2005, I have seen recurring themes in my clients that have sabotaged budding relationships. Here are the five biggest pitfalls I have noticed.
The adage “It’s better to give than to receive” is applicable in more ways than one, especially when it comes to bedroom intimacy. Having a selfish significant other can be a bit of a problem when the selfishness becomes a habit. So how do you handle it? We interviewed relationship expert and psychosexual therapist Dr. Sara NasserZadeh on how to resolve. Click here to watch the video!
If you've been feeling a little underwhelmed with your sex life, now is the perfect opportunity to turn things around and make sure 2012 is full of exciting intimacy for you and your partner.
How do you treat a woman once she decides to share her time with you? Ask yourself, “Who is the most important person in the room?” You had better have answered, “She is!” Don’t we want to give this special person — who treats us with such consideration and kindness — all that she deserves?
This series continues to talk about the intricacies of being in relationships with another people and how our insecurities can lead to boundary crossings that make healthy relationships impossible. In this section I will be talking about things that violate our physical and emotional boundaries. Why Respecting Boundaries Is Crucial, Part 1
Hundreds of thousands, more than likely millions, of people have grown up being taught that sex is a sin. It is considered dirty and should only be done to produce new life, and even then it should be done quickly and with extreme secrecy. In some ancient societies, if a woman was raped within a town or village not only was her attacker stoned to death, but so was she!
Are you a risk-taker? Have you leaped from an airplane? Scaled treacherous mountainsides? Braved shark-infested waters? There are many ways to take risks. Some of them are more obvious-- such as those above-- and others are a little less so. There are risky behaviors you might take in your relationship too.
It’s that time again – the trick-or-treaters swarming the streets, the leftover candy you take to the office so you don’t gain five pounds before the holidays even begin, and the piles of pumpkins at the grocery store. Fun? Yeah, maybe. Well let’s turn that around. It’s time to make Halloween all about adult playtime!
Great sex is totally subjective. What I used to consider great sex does not even come close to subsequent sexual experiences, especially in recent years. I didn't know what I was missing because, at the time, I had nothing better to compare it to. Luckily for me, sex has become progressively better as I've learned so much about my own sexuality and relationships over the years. I have also learned a lot from working with couples on relationship and intimacy issues. In particular, I've gained great insight into women who have hang-ups with sexual intimacy.
It always seems to happen after a great romantic movie. The leading lady gets the man of her dreams. You know, the one that instinctively knows her every thought and wish and eagerly seeks out ways to make her every desire a reality. And as you leave the theatre with the annoying feeling that you stepped in something sticky and are afraid to see what it is, you wonder why you can’t find that sensitive man.
She interrupted my talk to tell me that I should say the word differently to make its meaning clear. Instead of intimacy, I should say it into-me-see. She had a great point. The Dictionary defines intimacy as “a close, familiar, and usually affectionate or loving personal relationship with another person or group.” In the social sciences we think of it as closeness, openness, vulnerability, and transparency. Pronouncing it into-me-see does a great job of giving the meaning in the way the word sounds.
When it comes to intimacy and sex, there are a few common questions that race through the minds of every couple. Are you more likely to take charge and be more dominant? Or do you prefer when your partner is in control? Spending so much time wondering what is going through your lover's mind can be a mood killer. In this installment of "That's What He Said", the guys talk about who should take over the reigns by taking initiative in the bedroom. Check out the video above to find out what he's really thinking when it comes to your sex live.