Barbara Becker-Holstein's new book "The Truth (I’m a girl, I’m smart and I know everything)" is meant to be an inspirational and relatable book for girls of all ages. But why did she write it? Read on to discover her own inspiration.
INNER CHILD HEALING
I was having a phone session with Randy. "When I am around most people, I am generally fairly relaxed. But the moment I'm around my mother or Gineen (his wife of 12 years), I get anxious and often angry. I can't figure this out. I love both of them, so why do I feel anxious and angry around them?"
All of us have an Inner Child. Yep, you read me right: There’s a part of us that still needs love and good parenting. Learning how to create a strong connection with this aspect of yourself is essential to becoming a Naked Dater. In the second half of this article I will give you a technique that will show you how build this bond, but first let’s look at who this Inner Child is and why it’s so important for you to learn how to communicate with it.
In all my years as a parent educator, I have never met parents who earnestly wanted to hurt their children. Most parents sincerely want to encourage and empower their children to lead strong, successful lives. However, it is their lack of mindfulness that defaults into old patterns and belief systems that teach their children harmful messages rather accidently.
In the 43 years I have been counseling individuals, I have worked with many who have suffered from severe physical, emotional, and/or sexual abuse in childhood. Many of those who sought my help were suffering from fear and anxiety, depression, various addictions, relationship problems and sexual problems.
I finally succumbed. I watched the Kony 2012 video. I did not want to watch yet another video clip on the atrocities in Africa. It is so painful and deeply upsetting to watch the awful realities of the world - and not be able to do anything about them.
What do you do when you get a knot in your stomach in response to someone being subtly inauthentic, angry, judgmental, demanding or needy? You know in your gut that this person wants something from you - you can feel the pull on you - but it is not overt. Another person, even a therapist, looking at the interaction, may not pick up the wounded, pulling energy.
All the love experts say, "Love Yourself First." HOW? Self-love is an ongoing practice, a way of being. It consists of actions you can take, and it is a way of honoring yourself. Here are some practices you can do to develop self-love. 1. Express your authentic feelings.
"I freak out when my partner even looks at another woman. I trust him not to wander, so I don't know why this upsets me so much." "My partner spends too much time with her friends and family. What's the point of being together if she's always gone a couple of nights a week?" "My wife wants to go back to school now that the children are older. She doesn't need to work, so why does she want to do this? It's going to take up way too much of her time."
I was talking to one of the women I’m training to be a coach this morning. She is very talented in many areas of life and because of her childhood, has been unable to have the relationships or do the work that she wants to in the world. Over the years she has seen therapists and tried many forms of personal development programs in order that she fix and make some sense of the pain she so often feels.