One mother's quest to end to the unknowable mother syndrome.
Perhaps parents of my mother's generation weren't encouraged to share intimacies with their children. Or maybe it was just that way in her family. Which means that even now that she's 85, I still don't know my mother as well as I'd like. We get along, we have a lot of laughs together, but on the subject of herself, she's mom. When I began having kids, I wanted something different. I wanted my children to know me.
There is one question that people ask me that stands out among all others. Perhaps, it is because this particular question is the wrong question that they should be asking me... and themselves.
Feeling lost after a bad breakup? How to find yourself after losing your man.
In relationships, we often blend our identities with our partner's, and after a breakup, we feel lost. "Across three different studies we found that when a relationship ends, people think their self has changed. They change their hair, their friends, and their goals for the future," says study author Erica B. Slotter, M.A. While a drop-dead gorgeous new 'do can make you feel better, all this change can be rattling. "Being less sure of who people are contributes to the emotional stress that happens when a breakup occurs," says Slotter. So, how can you start reclaiming your self after a split? Read on.
A real Jersey Shore girl learns to accept herself.
If you've been watching MTV's Jersey Shore, maybe you can understand how a reasonably intelligent Italian-American woman from New Jersey, who lives within miles of the shooting location, might want to pretend to be someone else for a while. The fear of being lumped with characters like Snooki, whose "ultimate goal is to move to Jersey and find a nice juiced, hot, tan guy," is a great motivator for change.
Belle de Jour is really... a scientist with a PhD? Hey, Spiderman was really a photojournalist.
The jig is up. Belle de Jour, the former prostitute behind the popular column "Diary of a London Call Girl" and TV series "Secret Diary of a Call Girl" is really British research scientist Dr. Brooke Magnanti, 34. Dr. Magnanti gave the oldest reason for turning to the oldest profession -- to pay for her PhD.
Does the fact that we ask the question mean we still have a long way to go?
When I was asked to write an essay about my relationship in honor of Martin Luther King Jr. Day, I accepted immediately. I've been in an interracial relationship with my fiancé Fred for two and a half years. But after staring at a blank document on my computer screen for over 2 hours, I wondered why I was still struggling to put thoughts to paper. And the answer is this: To me, Fred is not black. And I'm not white. We are Fred and Colleen, and we are in love. I know that sounds simple, possibly naïve, and definitely romantic—but it's true.
Nicole Cohen didn't realize how much her life would change by marrying wealthy.
Her relationship was complicated. But after graduating from the Ivy League she thought she had it all figured out. But sometimes even the most independent of women lose their identity when they marry a rich husband. And it's not just the financial inequality but all the free time can cause even the most down-to-earth gal morph into a trophy wife without even knowing it.
Can someone else's image of us shape our own identity?
Women are plagued by physical imperfections or a negative body image that go virtually unnoticed by the object of their affection. Is it possible for us to find beauty in our flaws? "Many women swagger confidently through business meetings and cocktail parties. But once they shed the armor of Diane von Furstenberg and True Religion they become flustered schoolgirls, ashamed of everything from scars and birthmarks to stretch marks and small breasts. n an age when many women yearn for the airbrushed perfection of Beyoncé and Jennifer Aniston, it's easy to assume that men do, too."
