It can be difficult to stay connected to our loved ones in today's hectic world. We struggle to keep friendships strong with coffee dates and quick emails, and we diligently pencil in phone calls to our grandparents even when we're swamped. But our romantic relationships rarely receive the same type of attention that our friends and families do, and the results can be devastating. Imagine looking across the kitchen table at the familiar contours of your husband's face… and realizing that the man you married now feels like a total stranger.
My husband cannot shop. He’s awful at buying gifts. He tries really hard, but it’s just not his thing. One year, I got socks. Then there were the years where I got electronic gifts – fun for him, but not for me (and no woman really wants a clothes steamer as her big Christmas gift, no matter how useful it is). Once I got a fishing pole. He’s tried to buy jewelry, but I never like it.
A disgruntled husband in Italy filed to annul his marriage after his wife told him she may want an open marriage. No word on how long the couple were married, what context her "open marriage" musings took place and whether the marriage was basically finito anyway, but the Italian court system ruled in favor of the man, the marriage dissolved and the former wife isn't even allowed to receive alimony.
I married a man who invented the strong-silent type. He is quiet, logical and often taken aback by my less logical more emotional responses to issues such as him eating the last cookie or telling me that maybe I might look better in another outfit. And while he gets how to do our taxes and exactly how dew point relates to airplanes leaving trails in the sky, he doesn't get that sometimes, I need to know how he feels about an issue and "nothing" is not an emotion. Curiously, it took a mutual affection for the show Dexter, which chronicles the life of a serial killer trying to function in a normal relationship, to get my husband to open up.
My husband's brothers are fundamentally different from me. They talk guns, hunting, fishing, baseball and the intricacies of making lures. I like to talk about books or tell the story I heard about an old woman hiding her scandalous photos in her safety deposit box (true story). To bridge that communication gap, I make my brother-in-laws pies. An apple pie is the universal language for, "I think fishing lures are boring, but you are awesome."
According to new research on happy couples, whether or not your enjoy a happy marriage (which consequently affects your future happiness) has a lot to do with (gasp!)…who you marry. Yes, shockingly, happy couples lead happier lives, according to a German study. So why are we bringing up this completely obvious finding? Glad you asked. You see, an essential part of a happy marriage is your husband or your so-called, better half. So if you're looking for a lifetime of happiness (or at least not a whole lot of misery followed by a big old divorce), you better pick your hubby right. And these German researchers did discover some interesting news about the type of husband that will keep you happiest for the long haul.
A North-Indian festival, Karva Chauth is where thousands of married Hindu women fast all day in hopes of increasing their husband's life span. According to a blog published on the festival in the Wall Street Journal, wives dress up in colorful clothes with matching bangles and jewelry, sport henna on their hands," and fast until they see their husband in the flesh or photo form.
Each week at Traditional Love we bring you the best links around the web on love, marriage, family and all things related. This week we bring you links on fatherhood, cheating and how to be a happy wife. Research shows that when it comes to marriage, the old model still makes wives happy. [Mercator]
Whether you're getting hitched or embracing the modern tradition of premarital cohabitation, moving in with your significant other is a big deal. From fighting for the covers every night to waking up with the person you love each morning, this new chapter in your life may be rife with happy moments and potential conflicts. While there’s no foolproof plan for avoiding relationship complications after you move in together, following these tips will help make the transition that much easier.
Poll: You Feel That Way About Sex, Too?: I feel like my sex drive must be a distant relative to a bear, because it's in hibernation. I feel like Charlotte was right when she said, "My vagina's depressed." I feel like the only drive I have left is in my car. Because the bedroom one, that's MIA. I can't remember the last time I had sex in an interesting place. I wonder how my husband could possibly want sex after a long, tiring day. I have a wandering mind before (and during) sex. And thinking about errands or who will win Idol just kills the mood. I would rather burn calories at the gym than in the bedroom I love my baby, but had no idea that loss of interest in sex (plus leaky breasts) was part of the deal. I feel like Alanis Morisette's "Ironic" is my theme song -- it's crazy that birth control pills can diminish my sex drive!
Children are most definitely a blessing. They require a substantial investment of our time, attention and resources, but return joy that can’t be measured. However, parents must not lose their relationship in the midst of the overwhelming nature of parenting. Spouses can be intentional about their marriage so the whole family can thrive. After nearly 15 years of marriage, I’m still learning this. Small improvements in your family can make a big difference. Don’t feel guilty when you are taking time for your marriage. Remind yourself that you are benefiting your children as well. The alternative is to do nothing, and continue the almost imperceptible drift apart.
You've met his friends; he's met yours. Now it's time to add fruity cocktails and mix. Short of introducing your parents to his, combining your two sets of friends—especially if they exist in very different worlds—is one of the most nerve-wracking milestones in a relationship. And since summertime is party time, it's probably going to happen in the next month or so. Here are a few steps you can take to make sure it's not a complete disaster.
Marriage isn't some simple happily ever after. Sure, there are those happy moments, but there are the other times when you need to make sure that you aren't the only ones throwing knives at each other over the laundry. For those moments and for the happy ones, we have a list of top 10 tweeps, who tweet about marriage. And while we are on the subject, if you aren't following Traditional Love on Twitter then get on it! We tweet marriage news and our latest posts.