Fear brings out the worst in people, and marriage certainly brought out the worst in me. Unlike most young women I knew, I was less than thrilled to be going from a "me" to a "we." Don't get me wrong. I loved Michael, the man I was marrying, but I wasn't used to taking others into consideration. I was rubbish at compromise. And, most of all, I was afraid that—by marrying—I would lose myself: my identity... my independence. This is what made me a pathological liar.
Politics makes for strange bedfellows indeed. My husband and I have been married for 21 argumentative years. Technically 10 argumentative years, until I switched my political party affiliations. We had never seen eye to eye on anything, and we rarely had the same opinion on politics. When we first met, we had rousing arguments about who should be President of the United States. We had different opinions on why past politicians did lousy jobs as president or vice president. The only issue on which we agreed was that President Ronald Reagan's trickle down theory of economics was benefiting people who were already rich.
After her father-in-law dies of cancer and her sisters are in a car accident, one woman and her husband learn that sometimes supporting your spouse means being truly selfless and to get through the hard times you have to focus on what's important: " Support in a marriage is not a nice 50/50 split. Some days you are giving your all while your spouse is giving nothing and other days you are taking, offering nothing. After that night I tried to support Dave wholly—giving without taking. It was hard, but I never felt resentment. I knew that soon it would be my turn to give zero. And it was."
When the inevitable finally came, I was home with my daughter and boyfriend. The attack came on fast, but he never panicked. He watched and listened as my daughter administered my life-saving potassium and explained to him to watch for signs that my esophagus and diaphragm were paralyzed, both indicators that a trip to the ER was necessary. I could hear him asking her all kinds of questions, never with a sense of panic in his voice. He knelt at the side of the bed holding my hand, speaking softly and reassuring me that I was doing fine and that he and my daughter had things under control. He stayed there for an hour before I finally started coming around and moving again.
I come from a household of introverts and nerds. We're quiet. We don't laugh loudly, and we never, ever bellow. My husband's family put bugs in each other's beers and eats off of each other's plates. They shout and laugh and wrestle indoors. When Hurricane Charley struck central Florida in 2004, I learned how to love his boisterous clan.
What do you do if your significant other is a slob? How do you manage your differences? Catie Lazarus has some love and relationship issues and needs a therapist. She found the most experienced one out there...you! Watch "On the Couch" for all the public therapy you will ever need.
Traditionally, a woman takes a man’s name after marriage. Is this practice outdated? Should a woman take her husband's last name? What about him taking her name? How many syllables are appropriate for a hyphenation? In this episode of On the Couch, host Catie Lazarus hits the streets to debate this name game. While some say it’s a good way to boost a man’s ego, others question the importance of adopting a new last name.
Aaron was tall, handsome, brilliant, funny—everything I wanted in a lover except reckless. Indeed, the kinkiest thing about him was his luxuriant Jewish boy's 'fro; I loved to run my fingers through his curls. He was raised to be a suburban gentleman in the conservative 1950's and went to college in the liberated 70's—which may explain why he wasn't bitch-slapping me while pretending he was a pimp and I was his hooker, or playing the principal punishing the naughty schoolgirl sent to his office, or acting like a kidnapper tying up his naked, quivering victim. Instead, he put his ardor into his work while making sweet, calm, comfortable love to his wife once every week or two. Or three. Okay, a few years into our marriage, we sometimes went an entire month without even a quickie.
"What kind of woman has boobs like that?" I remember wondering as I stared at a detailed breastfeeding diagram in a thick baby care book during the early stages of pregnancy with my first child. The woman's breast sloped and sagged into a shape resembling a popped balloon. The deflated boobs looked nothing like my small, perky breasts.
Anyone who has been at a bar when it closes at 2am is familiar with the tendency of otherwise "straight" women to suddenly become "flexo-sexual" for the amusement of onlooking men. Obviously in this territory, stereotypes and double standards are plentiful, but when the shot glasses get put back on the shelf, what is the truth about bi-curious feelings?
My son graduated last weekend. Up to the actual day of the ceremony, I was doing a dang good job of ignoring/avoiding what was coming up. That my first born will be leaving soon. That this chapter is now closed: the one where he grows up with me there to guide him. That I’m old enough to have a son who is graduating from high school. I wasn’t thinking about any of this.
Turns out, it's a three YEAR process.Every year, hundreds of thousands of women take their new husband's names. Not to say the process has become seamless, but it’s less time consuming or involved than filing your taxes. But what if a guy wants to take his wife's name? Common sense says it should be just as easy—but guess again. According to WTLX.com, Michael Buday and Diana Bijon decided to just that, and it took a mere three years to make it official. With the divorce rate as is, it's amazing the couple was still married by the time the paperwork came through...
Just when you think you've deep-sixed one seriously depraved New York politician, accusations arise that another was not only secretly gay, but, oh by the way, he and his wife were having threesomes with his driver long before he ever came out. (Not that that in itself is necessarily depraved.) Hmm. Like we said, love rarely resembles a 50's sitcom. And we don't pretend to know what Silda should do with her Eliot, which is why we put the question to you:
I should have known. When you're 30 years old, like we are, and when you've been married three years, like we have, everything becomes about having a baby. No matter what we're talking about—our jobs, our friends, an upcoming vacation—reproduction is always just a free association away. It has even infiltrated our sex life: Yesterday, Emily confessed that her dirty thoughts about me now trigger a fantasy of me knocking her up.We both want a baby. If only we could agree on when. Jay Rosenshield writes about being a married man who's not ready to have a child.
From The Sydney Morning Herald By Adele Horin MEN in search of true happiness should steer clear of bimbos and dumb blondes: research shows men are happiest if they marry smart women. Every extra year of education a wife has under her belt significantly increases the chances her husband will report being highly satisfied with life. But Shane Mathew Worner, of the Australian National University's economics program, says it may be that an educated woman's earning power is her biggest asset. In a paper to be presented at the HILDA Survey Research conference this week, he says "the higher the education level of the wife, the happier the husband is." The study is based on a sample of more than 5000 Australians drawn from the Household, Income and Labour Dynamics in Australia survey.
Most people associate celebrity with SUVs, Manolo Blahniks, and Malibu beach homes. But not Alicia Silverstone. The actress, 30, has chosen to parlay her fame into a life of activism. She has aligned herself with organizations such as PETA—which named her the sexiest vegetarian alive—and the Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine, which encourages humane alternatives to animal testing. Along with her new husband, Silverstone has embraced an eco-friendly life—proving that when the political gets personal, love can only get better. Here, she weighs in on their first date, activism and favorite body parts.