![Why You Shouldn't Be 'Just Like Your Mother' [EXPERT]](http://images.tangomag.com/sites/default/files/imagecache/node-full/image_blog/motherdaughter_2.jpg "Why You Shouldn't Be 'Just Like Your Mother' [EXPERT]")
It happens for just about everyone. At some point while growing up or as an adult, the vow is made, "I'll never be like my mother!" This could be a rejection of her habits, values, opinions, or lifestyle choices. This also possibly includes the way that you perceive how she mis-handled her marriage or love relationship.
A man’s best friend is a dog. It may be an idiom or an expression, but the fact that it even exists is something to look at. Dogs are the most popular household pet for men. They offer companionship, loyalty, unconditional love and laughter. They never nag and are always playful. If you are having problems in your relationship, try taking a few tips from your family pet!
Nobody likes to be criticized. Let's face it-- most of us overload ourselves with negative judgments a lot of the time. When your partner regularly lumps on his or her nags, put downs and “advice” for how you might do things better, it can be a heavy and crippling load to carry. The combination of your own criticisms with your partner's put downs can cause your self esteem to dip even lower and intensify conflict between the two of you.
After our daughter was born, I realized I needed to give up some control in order to quit nagging my husband. I could no longer micro-manage trash day, toilet scrubbing and the proper placement of towels after a shower. I needed to begin to trust that even without my seemingly gentle reminders, things would get done.
When problems arise, challenges become harder, or even our monthly visitor sets off an array of emotional unbalance, we as woman are all guilty of complaining. We were always taught that communication is key and that honesty was the best policy. For the most part that is correct but when it comes to relationships with men, they want to hear us, but they honestly do not want to hear us complain.
Stop nagging your man. Really. The Wall Street Journal recently claimed that nagging — which the WSJ defines as "the interaction in which one person repeatedly makes a request, the other person repeatedly ignores it and both become increasingly annoyed" — is the biggest marriage killer and likely to lead to divorce. Yikes!
Sometimes being told what to do is really nice. It's not that it divorces you from the consequences. But being told exactly what to do can take the thinking out of something you clearly don't want to do. However, being on the business end of a constant stream of critiques, veiled orders, words to the wise and "helpful" hints is a major bummer. It's not just ladies who nag, fellas do too — but we call it carping, hectoring and emotional battery. We like to say, "All's fair in love and war," but if the Geneva Convention makes it illegal to pull out someone's fingernails to get them to spill when the next attack is coming, it stands to reason that telling someone to hang up their polo four times in one week. Nagging equals torture.
This guest article from Psych Central was written by Gretchen Rubin. From what I hear from other people, it’s clear that I’m not the only person who struggles with nagging. It turns out that being a nag is just as unpleasant as being nagged — so finding strategies to stop nagging brings a real happiness boost to a relationship.
