In Laura Dave's "The First Husband," Annie Adams is a travel writer from Los Angeles with a workaholic director boyfriend, Nick, and a perfectly comfortable life. It looks great on the outside, even though she barely sees the man she lives with between her schedule and his.
I am not here to say sex is right or wrong—it isn’t…right or wrong. It’s a biological function often associated with heavy breathing, sucking face, and a bleary anticipation, however repressed, of Happily Ever After… unless, of course, it’s not! Which is rare, unless you’re a pro at shutting off your feeling center. In any case, it’s precisely the After part that I am after right here and now.
One of the most painful things to experience is the break up from someone in which you were connected to and really loved. Many people have a difficult time getting over an ex and will do just about anything to ease the loneliness and pain that follows the end of a relationship. Some will even jump immediately into another relationship while still attempting to heal emotionally from the lost of their previous love.
Heartbreak lingers like a hangover. You wake up but don't want to move, and your head is spinning. Sometimes you need the greasiest pizza down the street has to offer, and sometimes you can't eat at all. The only thing that sounds appealing is crawling into a dark cave away from anything (which is everything) that reminds you how sh**ty you feel. We get it.
In my coaching practice, I see various types of women of all ages, backgrounds and professions. Most of them are getting over the man who blew into their lives as a fantasy, great lover or trustworthy confidant, whom they eventually fell in love with only to end up heartbroken. What I found fascinating is that although many of these women suffered with intolerable heart break that they no longer wanted to feel, they also refused to take my advice or let me help them because they did not want to let go of the euphoria invoked by the memories of a man who broke their heart. When my clients explain to me their stories from beginning to end, I immediately see the red signs from the start. It also becomes clear to me that these men were able to manipulate and seduce these women because of their emotional vulnerabilities at the time.
A member of our website asked this question in our advice section: “I've read several of the articles on the site, but have not seen anything mentioned about "chasing" after someone who is pulling away in a relationship. That has to be a form of protection against deeper feelings, though, right? If someone is pulling away and the urge to chase after them comes up, what is the best thing to do in this situation? Thanks!”
"We can't seem to connect anymore." This is one of the most common complaints I hear in my counseling practice. We all know that it is generally easy to connect at the beginning of a relationship - before all the protections and defenses come up. But what do you do to reconnect once you feel disconnected from each other?
Getting your ex back is all you can think about after hearing a few deadly words; "It's over" or "This isn't working for me." Everything that you've counted on and known until now is suddenly gone. Your life plans, your hopes, your dreams and a part of yourself feels utterly lost. You are left with a broken heart and a huge, great, gaping hole in your life. You feel like your whole life has been shattered to bits and you just don't know how you will survive. Getting through the next 60 seconds after hearing those fateful words feels like an eternity and you are sure you now know what dying really feels like.
What happens when you're already broken up, but just can't break up with the past? It's bad enough to end things with a person, but to have to say adieu to memories and the invisible, yet somehow tangible, threads that connect you to a former relationship can be even harder. Here are a few (healthy) ways to break up with your ex.
Most often, we think of heartbreak as a certain sense of sadness and longing when a relationship ends that can only be stifled with pints of Ben & Jerry's and the constant reassurance from close friends that, "You're better off, honey." But new research has shown that heartbreak is a real occurrence, especially after the loss of a loved one. And it can literally kill you.
Most people have gone through a traumatic breakup or three. But everyone has a very different style when it comes to breakup recovery.
I have been the beneficiary of magnificent male mentors. From dating tips to elevator pitches, I have received outstanding advice from men. Yet, there is one piece of advisement that stands out amongst the myriad of bestowed male wisdom. I started my professional career at Vogue magazine. And just in case you’re wondering, The Devil Wears Prada (book and movie) was an accurate depiction of what happens behind-the-scenes at the largest fashion magazine in the world. Ugliness thrives amidst all of that beauty.
It seems that my opinion on how important music is to a relationship and how my taste in music is far superior to most people's has ruffled some feathers. So, in an effort to help those poor Lady Gaga, Coldplay and Justin Bieber fans out there, I'm doing them a favor by offering my 10 favorite love songs... that aren't mainstream and lame.
The holiday season can be a tricky time to be single, even if you've been that way for a while, even if you're totally comfortable with it the other 11 months of the year. Some weird single holiday haze descends and makes the most well-adjusted among us feel like lousy lumps of unwanted coal.