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reject someone nicely
Love Buzz

How To Tell Him You're Just Not That Into Him

You know the scenario: you've inadvertently attracted an admirer, but you just don't share his feelings. What to do? In this week's episode of How I Met Your Mother, the gang explained the "bait-and-hook" theory to Ted, which says that everybody has at least one admirer they keep around but don't actually like. Out of reluctance to hurt someone's feelings, we end up sending the message that we can't date that person "right now," even though by "right now," we actually mean "ever." Eventually, though, the person's going to either confront you about his intentions, or, if he's already done so repeatedly, you'll get so annoyed at his efforts that you'll end up being a jerk. Either way, you can't string that person along forever, and oftentimes, avoiding his phone calls or fielding his attempts to hang out just isn't enough to get the point across. Awkward as it sounds, you need to have a little chat. Here are five ways to turn someone down without looking like the bad guy:

Love Woes? Your Bank Has the Answer
Community

Love Woes? Your Bank Has the Answer

If you’d like to figure out what’s wrong with you relationship-wise, don’t read a self-help book.  Get an online bank account.  Every time I log into my checking account, I’m asked a “security question,” the answer to which only I’m supposed to know, so the bank can confirm my identity.  Thus far, the only question the bank has asked me upon logging in is the name of my first boyfriend.  And what a joy it is to be forced to recall that relationship on a regular basis.  

Love, an Inner Connection
Community

Love, an Inner Connection

A guy sitting next to me on the bus the other day kept looking over my shoulder to check out the book on my lap.  When I stuffed it in my bag, he asked, “what are you reading?” Slightly embarrassed, I told him, “it’s called, Love, an Inner Connection.” “What’s it about?” Self-help books and pseudo-spiritual tomes I’ve always considered hokey.  Human beings are fantastically complicated, a lifetime isn’t long enough to discover all the nooks and crannies in one person’s psyche.  Merge two of these creatures in a relationship and they’d need at least a couple centuries to figure one another out.  For every self-help “rule” about relating, you’ll find a thousand situations that break it. So, when a friend suggested Love, an Inner Connection, my first reaction was to gag.  But since the book’s based in Jungian psychology and ancient Chinese philosophy, I gave it a whirl. Here’s the gist: there’s the “essential” self and the ego.  The

Passion: Love or Heartbreak?
Community

Passion: Love or Heartbreak?

Recently, I met up with a couple old friends, a married woman and a single gal enjoying the fruits of a new romance.  I told them about all my turbulent relationships, joking about the slackers and bad boys, the commitment-phobes and jerky alpha-males who’d come into my life since we’d last seen each other. “Oh, I’ve been there loads of times,” my married friend said after I described my most recent run-in with a sexy, relationship-shy stoner. She’d been there loads of times?  Shocking. Married women, especially once they’re moms, seem to me so organized and fulfilled, it’s hard to imagine any of these poised individuals knocking around with losers.  But once I thought about it, I remembered all the other married women I know who’ve admitted to the same sordid pasts. My friend Sonya’s husband is a successful TV producer with a taste for fine wine, classical music, and most interestingly, fidelity.  But

Building the Perfect Boyfriend
Community

Building the Perfect Boyfriend

The first time I went out with Joshua, I thought he might be a bit too young and boyishly thrilled by the possibilities of his own future to focus seriously on a relationship with a woman.  But I decided not to care.  Joshua was a marvelous painter who had great passion for all things groovy and wild, and he harbored gorgeous fantasies about saving humanity through art.  We debated politics and art, and stayed up until dawn to explore the contours of our magnificent souls.  I was dizzy with inspiration and head over heels in love. When Joshua finally gave me the “not-looking-for-anything-serious” speech, I was too heartbroken to recognize one enormously significant fact about our relationship. I made the whole thing up. I’d known about Joshua for months before he asked me out.  In his art, I’d seen brilliance.  In his character, I’d sensed an intensity I

Jennifer Aniston
Celebrity Love

Gerard Butler Hearts Jennifer Aniston

Jennifer Aniston just can't seem to stay out of the tabloids. But it seems this He's Just Not Into You actress is doomed to have a sizzling love life, if not diverse. Though Jennifer was just recently linked to Bradley Cooper, according to Star Magazine, the actress is now crazy in love with Gerard Butler who stars in the movie, The Ugly Truth.

Indian couple
Video

Single in India: First Marriage, Then Love

Liz Tuccillo, writer for Sex and the City and co-author of He's Just Not That Into You, asks why is the divorce rate so low in India? She finds out that Indians are taught that happiness is a state of mind. And if you've had an arranged marriage you wed first, and learn to love your husband over time, as you get to know him.