Tools for Managing Stress to Increase Happiness
Keeping your ex in your life, aka "exing" -- whether that involves a no-strings-attached hook-up or daily monitoring of his Facebook page -- is sabotaging your future happiness. Here are six common exing patterns to 86 from your life (along with that dude!).
A member of my family was just in the hospital for an out-of-the-blue medical emergency. For a couple days things were dicey and the whole lot of us was concerned. It’s hard to worry about your career, love life or even your soul when a person who used to change your diapers and sneak you Twinkies when your mom wouldn’t let you eat them, is lying unconscious in a hospital. Lately, I keep coming across articles and essays, surveys and polls, how-to books and talk shows about how to be happy. I even wrote about it last week. Supposedly, America is one enormous pool of misery and the majority of us are swimming in it.
Time magazine says I’m unhappy. And if you’re a woman, according to them, so are you. Sometimes, I think I ought to chuck the whole writing thing and become a researcher investigating the myriad reasons women’s lives are so shitty. Magazines and universities seem to be working around the clock to inform us dames how depressed we are. How infertile we become each day. How gaining too much weight during pregnancy will make us fat for the rest of our lives. How men don’t like smart chicks and are intimidated by successful ones. How females are more likely to die by violence in the home. How we need to behave like men to be taken seriously in the work place. And if you’re a black woman, sorry, but you’re more apt to be single all your life and get breast cancer. Good times. And they wonder why we get a bit crabby.
One of the most common questions we hear is, "How do we make our relationship work?" The answers are complicated, varied, and, after a while, can start to sound like muddled platitudes. But these commonplace sayings get repeated because they work. With this in mind, we pulled together 12 cliches that, in fact, reveal simple, tried-and-true advice for having a healthy, happy relationship.
More often than not clients wanting to improve their relationship skills at some point had to realize the importance of personal and interpersonal forgiveness to their well-being and overall happiness. The truth is that all of us have transgressed or acted in a way that brought about a negative impact on our self or someone else. So from this perspective, none of us is without the need for forgiveness, and each of us will encounter the opportunity to grant forgiveness. With that in mind, here are some important benefits associated with practicing forgiveness.
We've all seen them in the park. Those stooped over, wrinkled love birds still walking hand in hand after all these years. Sigh... What's their story? Star-crossed lovers? Perhaps—but maybe not, as studies show love may have little to do with it. What does make a marriage work, is work itself. You got it, practice makes perfect; and the best way to go about forging a strong marriage is through the establishment of daily rituals.
Liz Tuccillo, writer for Sex and the City and co-author of He's Just Not That Into You, asks why is the divorce rate so low in India? She finds out that Indians are taught that happiness is a state of mind. And if you've had an arranged marriage you wed first, and learn to love your husband over time, as you get to know him.
Even Sandra Bullock was surprised when she went from dating Hollywood hotties like Matthew McConaughey and Ryan Gosling to marrying motorcycle shop owner Jesse James. She's revealing how looking outside the box for her mate was the best decision that she ever made. Sandra tells Glamour magazine, "I think most of us are raised with preconceived notions of the choices we're supposed to make. We waste so much time making decisions based on someone else's idea of our happiness — what will make you a good citizen or a good wife or daughter or actress. Nobody says, 'Just be happy — go be a cobbler or go live with goats."