Dr. Romance Happiness Tip: Your Primary Relationship
Earlier this year, blogger Caitlyn Boyle began "Operation Beautiful," a movement that encourages women to tack inspirational Post-It notes onto the mirrors of public bathrooms. By reminding other women that they are beautiful, the movement's participants transformed the way they saw themselves. That simple act of kindness got us thinking—can helping people with relationships improve our own love lives?
Research is increasingly confirming that having lots of money doesn't necessarily make couples any happier. In fact, all those lotto horror stories could actually teach us something (other than that winninglottery numbers are actually a curse, thanks Lost): When it comes to our relationships, money doesn't buy happiness, but it can tear us apart.Yes, as the saying goes, "Mo money, Mo problems." So what's this have to do with your fetish for fancy footwear or penchant for designer handbags? After all, we get that a five million dollar jackpot is a little different than a few pricey additions to your closet.
We all want happier relationships with the one we love, but we don't know how to make it happen. Here are 10 tips to get you started. Remember, you can get your free Get Acquainted session with Michelle by going to her web site and emailing her.
Dear Dr. Romance: "a lack of empathy that excludes intimacy"
Smiling can change your mood, making you feel happy even when you didn't think you could. Think about it—people are always busy, whether they're late to work, shopping around, or running errands. We often forget how easy it is to smile and the significant effect it can have on improving your perspective.
Recently we've been watching the various companies involved in the tragic Gulf oil spill take turns blaming each other for the negligence. In my counseling practice, I hear a lot of self-justification, mind-reading, defensiveness, blaming and complaining. Clients who do this tend to have relationships, friendships, business connections and day-to-day living which are not going well. Their lives are not about trying to understand their own role in the problem, so they can deal with it effectively, but to push the responsibility off onto someone else, and avoid it.
Once upon a time, I thought time had run out on my chance to get love right. While all my friends were marrying, settling down, and starting families, I was once again staring at the smoldering remains of yet another failed relationship with yet another Mr. Wrong. The perpetual bachelorette in my social circle, I had a job my friends envied, owned my own condo, took amazing vacations, and always had fabulous plans on the weekends. I was even saving money for retirement like a smart, savvy woman should. On paper, my life looked amazing. In reality, I felt like a complete and total failure.