An Introduction to my way of life and my personal philosophies...
One of the most common questions we hear is, "How do we make our relationship work?" The answers are complicated, varied, and, after a while, can start to sound like muddled platitudes. But these commonplace sayings get repeated because they work. With this in mind, we pulled together 12 cliches that, in fact, reveal simple, tried-and-true advice for having a healthy, happy relationship.
More often than not clients wanting to improve their relationship skills at some point had to realize the importance of personal and interpersonal forgiveness to their well-being and overall happiness. The truth is that all of us have transgressed or acted in a way that brought about a negative impact on our self or someone else. So from this perspective, none of us is without the need for forgiveness, and each of us will encounter the opportunity to grant forgiveness. With that in mind, here are some important benefits associated with practicing forgiveness.
We've all seen them in the park. Those stooped over, wrinkled love birds still walking hand in hand after all these years. Sigh... What's their story? Star-crossed lovers? Perhaps—but maybe not, as studies show love may have little to do with it. What does make a marriage work, is work itself. You got it, practice makes perfect; and the best way to go about forging a strong marriage is through the establishment of daily rituals.
Liz Tuccillo, writer for Sex and the City and co-author of He's Just Not That Into You, asks why is the divorce rate so low in India? She finds out that Indians are taught that happiness is a state of mind. And if you've had an arranged marriage you wed first, and learn to love your husband over time, as you get to know him.
Even Sandra Bullock was surprised when she went from dating Hollywood hotties like Matthew McConaughey and Ryan Gosling to marrying motorcycle shop owner Jesse James. She's revealing how looking outside the box for her mate was the best decision that she ever made. Sandra tells Glamour magazine, "I think most of us are raised with preconceived notions of the choices we're supposed to make. We waste so much time making decisions based on someone else's idea of our happiness — what will make you a good citizen or a good wife or daughter or actress. Nobody says, 'Just be happy — go be a cobbler or go live with goats."
Perhaps the best way to find a romantic partner would be, in my opinion, meeting, being friends, THEN falling in love. All the real relationships I've had in my life did NOT result from dating, but actually from a series of very interesting events. Some people call it luck, coincidence, destiny, or fate. I just call it providential. Dating is fine when it's with someone you actually feel a connection with and want to invest the time and energy into seeing how things will go. Coming upon that someone is RARE, for me. The problem is that most people search, and then become too engrossed in the search which makes them lose themselves. This is when desperation, feelings of insecurity, sadness, etc turn them into idiots. Yes, the kind that act retarded and will date anyone. People are crazily into MARRIAGE, R'SHIPS, and LOVE. The reasons for this are both inner and outer influences. Inner: Insecurity over who you are thus requiring a 'significant'
A study was released from Harvard University today claiming strangers knows better than you on what will make you happy. The study claims if you haven't tried something (or someone) asking someone who has (and taking their advice) is a better choice than stubbornly trying it on your own and being disappointed. This is chancy and far-fetched, we know, but these researchers swear on their Ivy League credentials that experience is way overrated, and a word to the wise is just time saved in the end.
Consumer culture wants us to stay single. The less we are dating, the more frustrated we grow. The more frustrated we grow, the more we yearn. The more we yearn, the more we want; and the more we want, the more we buy. It's easy to keep grabbing and spending, but it may be that loving others provides true fulfillment. Alessandro Spaggiari is the CEO and president of Spal, Inc., an international company manufacturing parts for sports cars, cell phones, and surgical devices. He says for companies to fare successfully in the ever-evolving worlds of technology and capitalism, they must know the secrets to keeping consumers coming back for more. "On average, a single person spends more on consumer goods than a couple spends, combined," he says. "Marketers are happy to see young people— the highest-spending demographic of all— staying single right now." If you're alone, chances are good you'll spend your free time spending — on a ticket to see a film, out for drinks with friends, on a new self-help book, a guitar to practice during quiet nights at home, a new car even if the old one is fine. It's as though we're trying to fill ourselves up with stuff. But those in solid relationships are more likely to keep the funds closer to home, staying in together for a chat and a glass of wine or watching TV instead.
"The jury is still out as to whether or not kids are good for marriages, period," says Kimberly Ford, mother of three, who writes about erotic dancing, Brazilian waxing, vibrators, communication, Private Time and how these all contribute to having a healthy sex life after having kids, in her book Hump: True Tales of Sex After Kids. "At the end of a long day of chatting with moms at the park or going to a play group or going to Gymboree, or whatever my day had been full of—and lots and lots of conversation, very important conversation about how to get the baby to sleep through the night, or how to get your body back—I just feel like I need to be an adult," says Ford. "Frankly, sex is a very efficient way to feel like that."