Pinkee here~ Once that final decision has been made to cut the cord of a relationship, whether it was mainly your idea or the other person’s, you will have feelings that need to be felt and expressed. You do have a choice. You can choose to grieve or not. Basically there are two types of not grieving. The first type may look like grieving, but it’s really not.
Dear Brit and Catherine, I just went through a breakup. I was a mess, the only sites that could really help were sites for people who are grieving. Even though they were grieving a death, what they said really helped me. I know you can’t compare breakups to someone dying, but I wonder if a breakup could still cause grief? “Mary Ann” (not her real name) Dear “Mary Ann”
INTRODUCTION "It just hit me out of the blue when Mike left me. We hadn't really been together all that long, but I thought I'd finally found my true soul mate. Now it's over and I feel totally rejected, like nobody's ever going to want me again. It's so hard finding a decent guy and now I have to start all over again; I don't know if I can. I feel like a failure at relationships. I just don't know what to do." --Eric
Denial, bargaining, anger, depression, acceptance: why we need to go through all stages after divore My divorce caught me off guard. I had no time to plan my emotional response and being the planner I am, I found this a bit disconcerting. Actually I was highly pissed. Want to set my world a twirl? Pull the rug out from under it! Your Ultimate Divorce Survival Guide
With change comes loss, even if the change is good. And loss must be grieved so you can leave the "old" behind and move into the "new" in a healthy way. Most grief professionals agree that the grieving process consists of five stages that must be addressed in order to move on. The five stages are: * Denial – Not accepting that it’s really happening. * Bargaining – Believing that with negotiation or adjustment it can go back to the way it used to be. * Anger – Feeling that the situation is “unfair” * Sadness – Feeling lost, alone, or vulnerable. * Acceptance – Realizing that things will not go back to the way they were, and it's time to move on. When grieving a loss, you may move from one stage to the next and then back again. This is a normal part of the process. So when experiencing a change, don't resist the grieving process. Although at first it may not feel like grief is good, it does help you to close one chapter of your life so you can move on to the next.
Sure, the holidays are filled with great food, fun parties, and general good cheer (I was at a crowded Macy’s yesterday, and I wasn’t shoved once!), but for a lot of people, this is anything but the most wonderful time of year. Those of us in periods of transition—even positive ones—are especially susceptible to the feelings of loneliness, frustration, depression, and the stress the holidays can elicit. After the jump, a few tips for surviving the holidays during some of life’s biggest transitions
I was with him when he took his last breath. I felt as though it was mine. One second he was there and the next he was gone. We had said all there was to say between two people in love. Sharing the good times and the sad times, we relived our entire married life within a few days. Then he was gone.
They say nights are the hardest to get through, so instead of sleeping in the bed we shared, I'd decided to sleep on the couch. With fresh sheets in hand, I flipped over the end cushion and heard the crinkle of a candy bar wrapper. If he had been in the living room with me, I would have reprimanded him (as I had so many times!) and led him into the kitchen to show him where the garbage can was.