Anger is such a difficult emotion for so many of us to express. Women, especially, are taught that anger is ugly and we are bitchy if we complain or vent about feeling upset. Afraid of our anger and what it might appear like, we tend to hold it in and repress it. Simmering inside of us, it either turns into depression and we take it out on ourselves through addiction or eating poorly, etc, or it erupts like a volcano and comes out sideways and squirrely, not how we intended.
Out of respect to the families who were affected by the Aurora, Colorado shooting, I challenge each of us to dig deep into our souls and share our compassion with these families. Across the globe, we are all deeply affected by this senseless loss of life and its tragic aftermath. How can we make sense of something that doesn't make sense? How can we move forward knowing even a movie theater is not a safe place? The Dark Knight Rises is a great example of the mythic hero's journey. The hero's journey is one way to develop your inner strength. You can't attain inner strength by depending on others; you can see others as mentors, but the task or call is yours to figure out. "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink" is the motto for good mentors.
I’m in session with a client who is telling me about a very emotional event in her life. She begins to tear up, but she fights it and keeps the tears back. We continue to talk and she continues to fight. She isn’t fooling anyone. I can see the tears there, wanting to come out. Then there is a moment when one of us says something that makes it so she can’t hold them back any more and the tears begin to flow.
Going through a divorce can be similar to experiencing the death of a loved one. Sometimes it is quick and sudden or slow and gradual. In any case, the person you dreamed about growing old with is no longer a part of your everyday life. This is a huge loss no matter how dysfunctional the relationship was. Not only have you lost your life companion, but your sense of security, financial stability, parenting partner, and much more.
What does your heart do to heal when the friend you lost was packaged in fur and sported a tail? If you are a pet owner, you know in your head that your pet's life will probably be shorter than yours, yet the magnitude of their loss can be overwhelming. If your heart is filled with sadness from such a loss, here are five ways to find comfort and give you back some peace of mind.
You just found out your partner has a secret life, and has been sex chatting with men and women on several web "personals" sites. You trusted your partner and now, you can't comprehend a betrayal of this magnitude. You are in shock.
Grief Ominous and powerful, grief comes to us unplanned and often unwelcomed. Not only is it sadness, but it is mixed with disbelief, anger, and ambivalence. And it was no different for me recently. A friend of mine had been sick for many years, hiding his illness (until recently) to leave him and his wife to cope alone. This guy was a great man. A psychologist, a caring husband, and a leader in his faith community. A gentle giant with nothing but kindness in his heart. Shock
Dr. Gayle (affectionately known as Kayla Gayle), a colleague of mine, amazes me with her inner peace and strength. At lunch with her this past week I discussed the passion that she has for Kundalini Yoga, and her recent decision to become an instructor of Kundalini. Her website, Abundance-Yoga.com, describes the practice as, “Yoga is not about twisting yourself into a pretzel or standing on your head, but about nurturing your spirit, and freeing your heart…when Kundalini awakens, your entire life will awaken with abundance, energy, creativity and more.”
If it's been months — or years since your divorce and you're still wearing your wedding ring, the good news is you're not alone. Plenty of people find it difficult to take off their wedding bands even long after they've moved on with the rest of their lives. In this video, Relationship Coach, Author and YourTango Expert Shela Dean offers advice about what to do when you just can't seem to separate with your wedding ring.
1. Learn to self-soothe: It's really a combination of relaxation (some meditation), affirmations, positive self-talk and telling yourself that what you’re PERCEIVING is not necessarily how it is and, even if it is, you can survive it. Believe me, you will believe it after a while. Because the bottom line is: if you want to be okay, you will be.
Is it taking you longer than you expected to get over your ex? If it's been over a year and you still feel despondent on your old anniversary, take heart: you're not alone. In this video, psychotherapist, author and YourTango Expert Julie Orlov offers advice to one reader who still struggles with her breakup long after it's ended.
Barely anyone recognizes the significance of this day; It's January 22nd. This is the anniversary of the passage of Roe v. Wade by the Supreme Court in 1973. I watch the news stories every year and there is hardly anything ever said about it. This is why it is my belief that voluntary pregnancy termination ("VPT") is now a household word in our culture. It is as normal and natural as apple pie was to the WWII era group.
When someone we love dies it can be seem impossible to adjust. Our minds do not truly understand how to accept the idea that someone exists one day and is gone the next, never to return. We can be confused or frustrated by our reactions and not know what is normal. Here are a few ideas to keep in mind to help you to get through it.
When a friend is grieving the loss of a loved one, it's easy to feel helpless. Sometimes we think we're doing the right thing by trying to cheer them up, pointing out the positives or letting them know that they should try to move on. Well-intentioned as we may be, those efforts tend to put pressure on them and leave them feeling invalidated. Here are six ways to help you support your friend in times of need.