I want to deal with relationship problems.

He cancels a date, what to do now?

confusedlibra — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 10:33:18 -0400

Have been dating this man, seperated, with children for the last 6 weeks (phyiscally) and been talking since July. It seems like we always hit the sake when we do meet up at his place and that he can't really afford to go out and leaving his children at home (as they are young). That's fine. So last time when we met, after being intimate, I asked him to take me out this week and he said yes, and Wednesday would work for him. Came Tuesday night, not a word from him so I called and confirmed when and where to meet. He said he had to cancel because he had forgotten that his mother is coming to town to stay with him on Wednesday night when he set up the date with me, perhaps Thursday or Friday night would work and he'll give me a call on Wednesday to firm up.
I don't want to sound stupid or naive, but I am and rather give him the benefit of the doubts but i can't help to wonder, is he into me? And if he doesn't call back in the timely manner, what do I do then. I understand he has family and parental obiligations but if he could spend hours and hours on the phone with me before our first date and not call for weeks, finally picked up the call and only can afford to see me once a week and still claim we are not FWB because he has feelsing for me, why not pick up the phone for five minutes per day or every other day? and believe me, I have communicated this with him already.

I want to know and need to know that this is not abnormal in normal dating behavior. I don't expect him to get into an instant relationship with me but i do feel that I am pursuing him than he is pursing me. It it makes the matter more complicated, we have already be intimate.

I want to figure out where my relationship is going.

How do i convince her its ok to date me?

srussell10 — Mon, 21 Sep 2009 22:30:33 -0400

A girl i've been talking to as just a friend has liked me for around six months. I had no intention of dating her until about a month ago after she had another boyfriend. her relationship with that guy was horrible and now she is extremely nervous about going into a relationship with me. She also thinks we wouldn't get to see each other enough. We see each other on weekends and every day both of us are available to make plans. around 3 times a week at about 3-4 hours a time. Our feelings for each other are mutual. Should i wait or try to convince her its ok to date me now? if its ok to date now what should i tell her to convince her its ok?

I want to figure out where my relationship is going.

My wife isn't who she made herself out to be.

DarthDefault — Mon, 21 Sep 2009 22:12:58 -0400

Before my wife and I got back together after a eight year separation, we both talked a lot on how we had changed and grown. She made herself out to be my dream woman once again. The perfect, ideal woman I always dreamed of, but never got. She seemed very grown up, since we were just teenagers in our first try, much more responsible, more likely to get up and try to solve any problem, work with me, or pull me kicking and screaming to work on any problem we might have.
The first couple of months were wonderful. We talked a lot, about everything. Shared everything, worked together on everything.
Then, one day, I realized, I had basically told her my entire life story, including everything she missed during our separation, but she had told me very little about herself. We only shared when I started it, and she would usually claim there wasn't much to share about her life. We only worked together on things when I started it, and as long as I pushed her to finish it.
Then one night, when I asked what happened to the woman I wanted to marry, she hit me with, "She's lost and scared. I don't know where she is, or when she's coming back."
She admits to not knowing or thinking about how it would affect me when I found out, because she says she never thought it would last very long, the lie, I mean.
She says she thought she could easily become this type of person with the proper motivation, and doesn't know why it's so hard to just get up and be herself.
So I was left thinking I wasn't doing enough for her, and that maybe she doesn't really want me...

I want to figure out where my relationship is going.

Is it a good idea to split up financially but still married?

bewildered — Mon, 21 Sep 2009 14:06:44 -0400

My husband and I have been married for 13 years. He has a daughter from his first marriage. We pooled money since day 1 and we have equal earning powers. We have a child together. Up until this point I had no problem with the money spent on my step daughter (child support, vacation, medical, dental.. you name it...The ex is a looser and therefore we've carried most of the expenses associated with her). However, my step daughter moved in with us in her senior year of high school and proved to be a really lazy teenager and not financially smart. Not only my husband and I disagree on how to turn her around, he also starts making financial decisions at her request without consulting me. One example is she said she wanted to go to summer school at the college she was supposed to attend in the fall. Without thinking of the financial consequences, he said yes of course. When I was told about it, I asked what the plan was? does she know that it'll be a waste of money if she is not taking more summer sessions to obtain enough credit so that she could reduce a semester/or quarter to realize the savings? It turned out she wanted to go because a friend of hers is going. When I asked how many classes are you taking? she said "er.. one?" I thought to myself of course you're taking at least one!!! So I went on and explained that she needs to take at least two classes to make the cost worthwhile and that she'd have to come back for another summer so that she could cut her regular year by a semester and save money. Anyway, before I had this conversation with her, I was accused by my husband that I am not generous with his daugher.....We're talking about whimsical decision made by her that'd cost us thousands of dollars here, not a few hundred bucks!
I'm just tired of having to worry about what they are up to and what he 'd promise her without thinking whether it is the right thing to do for her or not. We are not poor but we're not rich either.

I want to deal with relationship problems.

Is it ever okay to get back together with an abusive ex?

dustbunny — Mon, 21 Sep 2009 10:48:45 -0400

I am madly in love with my ex boyfriend but he has substance abuse issues, has broken my things, and hit me once in the past. Is there any hope that he can change and we can have a normal loving relationship?

I want to deal with relationship problems.

does my partner/wife genuinely love me

smokes — Tue, 25 Aug 2009 10:29:44 -0400

My wife and I been maried for almost two years. Before we got married we were lovers for a long time. We were palyers as well. I had plenty women and was still cheating when we got married. She may have cut all ties but im not a 100% sure. She caught me out there a number of times and i think she started cheating herself (whether it was physical, I dont know). We soon later had a baby and while she was pregnant i was still cheating and didnt have sex w/her. Now that ive finally matured i dont mess around and im dedicated and infatueated with my wife but know the tables are turned and she seems distant. She was but no longer is very sexual with me. She always wanted to have sex but since the baby, shes not really interested. I blame myself for it. If i was faithful from the start, i wouldnt be complaing right now. If i made her happy and gave her what she wanted, i would be good. Now i think shes cheating or i turned her off from sex. Im confused cause i love her to death but her attitude and her sexual appetite has went south. What could i do to rekindle her sexual apetite. Cause i tried!! but no cigar. We are very young and at our sexual peak. Im finna go back to my old ways if it doesnt get better but i rather not. I need some help.

I want to figure out where my relationship is going.

how do you get over unrequited love from a close friend?

thrillaveza — Mon, 24 Aug 2009 20:45:05 -0400

my story about it is too long, so i posted the whole story and such on my blog, if you please check it, you'll understand what's going on with me.

but let me shorten it:

i liked a close friend of mine for like a whole year now. she was a friend of mine since fresh year of high school; i even had a crush on her then but it drew away we flirted a lot and so on but also had good, fun conversations. until last year (july 2008) where it sparked again that my feelings became strong for her.

since last year we hung out a lot, just the two of us and i always drew gestures that showed my interest for her. ( played her songs on guitar and wrote her letters) and even surprised her on valentines day(at which all of them she liked). as months passed, i was having the urge to ask her out legitimately but as i approached her best friend about it, she told me not to but, me being stubborn i got out of her that she started seeing someone. so for the past couple of months i haven't been myself. i've been at my worst now and it's hard to move on.

i tried keeping a no contact rule during the summer but seeing her through inevitable events made me break it the rule. i realized that i rather have her in my life than not.

im asking how do i get over her (being a close friend)?
or should i hang on?

or even stories from other people and how they dealt and gotten over it.

thank you for reading

I want to meet someone and fall in love.

How to keep a LDR strong?

piratemistress91 — Mon, 24 Aug 2009 18:34:43 -0400

My boyfriend and I have been officially dating for almost a year and now since I'm away at college and he's going to college in state, we are now in a long distance relationship. And because he's in the corps and they have ridiculously strict rules, we can't talk to each other as much as I would like and when we do finally get to talk, it's only for a short time before he has to get off the phone, courtesy to "lights out." He doesn't want to be in the corps, but his parents are threatening to disown him and not help with tuition if he does quit, which makes really frustrated and that rubs off on our conversations and bothers me. This situation is really putting a damper on our relationship and is making me distracted. I really love him, but I don't know how to help him.

I want to figure out where my relationship is going.

Do you snoop?

Leah8922 — Sun, 23 Aug 2009 21:18:43 -0400

Do you snoop through your partners things when you get the chance?

I want to figure out where my relationship is going.

How do you deal when you think that the other person's irresponsibility is the cause of your problems?

prdude79 — Sat, 22 Aug 2009 17:18:10 -0400

My partner and I have been together for 7 years. We've had our ups and downs, but every time we go into the downs, our fights tend to be about money. He feels like he just needs to survive life and although he has ambitions, he does not take the steps towards making the progress that we need so we can then move on to the next step.

He accuses me of being to compulsive when I ask him that he should find a way of making some money (like a job!), and that I need to relax. But the whole time, I've been paying the bills, yet whenever things don't fit our budget, he throws a fit because I say no.

Don't get me wring, I appreciate the things that he does around the house while I'm at work, but to me those things should not be the priority when we are struggling with something else.

To make things worse, he started having seizures that seem to be linked to stress a year ago, and I'm the one picking up the slack so we can reduce his stress. The stressful things do not go away, they just fall on me. I'm not sure how much of an enabler I am, but if something doesn't change things soon, I'm not sure how much I'm going to last. What do I do?!

I want to figure out where my relationship is going.

How can selfish man love someone?

sweetlalaine — Sat, 22 Aug 2009 17:05:15 -0400

I just broke off my boyfriend who's is so selfish. He tells me that he loves me but I really don't believe him at all because he is not considerate, only thinks about himself and is not easily adaptable to changes, very hard to please and complains a lot. I believe that selfish men don't know how to love or share with someone. He is just too vain or too selfish.

I want to deal with relationship problems.

Should a new married couple end Facebook and Myspace friendships with the oppositie sex?

rrand123 — Sat, 22 Aug 2009 11:24:42 -0400

My wife and I recently got married... we met on internet chat and friendship became love and love into marriage. However, one thing that is strange, we both are still chatting with internet friends, most of whom we have never met... I have girls wanting to add me as friend and asking to meet me... she is still chatting with guys that she has had on her list for over a year or two and of course more guys are trying to meet her as well. What should we do? How should we handle this? Some friends and relatives have made different suggestions... one was... we should cancel those websites and make a joint webpage of our photo together.. put in status as married and add only friends and relatives that we have met... another suggestion was to continue as is as long as neither cares and we are honest with each other... one was that we share the password so either of us can get in... so you see, I don't know how to handle this.. for me.. I could delete the account and live happily ever after but she has a need for being on it 2 or 3 hours a day.... I dont want to cause her any grief to by asking her to cut down on internet time... Ok.. let me know what you think.. Thanks.

I want to make my partnership stronger.

Why are men so apprehensive to date women with children even in their later years?

shakimajones — Sat, 22 Aug 2009 10:20:12 -0400

I want to meet someone and fall in love.

My partner is so grumpy that I'm falling out of love, what should I do?

nicandnatsmamma — Sat, 22 Aug 2009 10:17:19 -0400

We have been together for 10 years and have two young children. He has always been a grump, and sometimes downright mean. He is actually like this with everyone, not just me. I am a happy, bubbly, social person and he is truly the anti-me! I try to keep things light and have always done my best to keep a cheery attitude which helps his. Lately though I'm just fed up with his attitude, his snide remarks and his over all disdain for just about everything. I find myself just plain not caring about him. I do want it to work but he doesn't think he's doing anything wrong and I'm tired of banging my head against the wall (so to speak).

I want to deal with relationship problems.

How do I trust my man?

Jennifer Farleigh — Sat, 22 Aug 2009 10:12:57 -0400

I have been with my husband for almost 3 years. For the first year of our relationship, I knew he had a ex wife, and kids. No problem. He told me that her and the kids come first. That is fine. However when I got pregnant with his child, about 5 months into the relationship, it was still all about her, and helping her clean up her dirty @$$ house. And ever since then, I have had a big issue with whenever she is around. When she is around I feel as if I am pushed to the back burner, that I dont matter, and that I am not there. Llike I said I been with him for almost 3 years we now have TWO kids together, and everytime she is around, I still feel as if Im pushed to the back burner. I need help.. PLEASE HELP..!!!

I want to make my partnership stronger.

how do you solve an ongoing conflict?

lookin4answers — Sat, 22 Aug 2009 10:10:24 -0400

My boyfriend and I have argued about the same thing for 5 years straight. His ex-wife says she can't find anyone to take the kids too school every year. I know that's not true. So he leaves my kids at home alone and goes to her house for an hour and a half to take their kids to school. I don't like him in her house that length of time and I don't like her acting like she is helpless. She won't try to comprimise the situation and he argues with me when I tell my feelings. I look like I have a problem with him taking care his kids. She's using the kid's as her ace card and it has worked for years. I'm sick and tired and don't what to do to resolve this issue.

I want to make my partnership stronger.

How to handle still being angry the next day and not talking?

rachm — Sat, 22 Aug 2009 10:10:04 -0400

I was told yesterday when I asked if he made it to the store in time? Why did I need to know, that he had been running his a** off all day for my dad and that he is tired of having to account of every second of his day and that I should put a camera on his a** so I can find out for myself. I then came back with I have every right to ask anykind of question. I was then told it's realy not any of my buisness. I of course blew up because I am no the kind to just sit back and take it. So we stopped talking lastnight, could not even look at eachother, slept apart and still today have not said a word to eachother. Together for 14years and have 4 kids. No we did not have this fight infront of the kids, we were out for the evening.as you can see it went well. please advise. kinda lost....

I want to figure out where my relationship is going.

How do my fiance and I find the best suited pre-marital counseling?

COBlonde — Sat, 22 Aug 2009 10:04:57 -0400

We have a couple of issues that we need help in figuring out how to work through. We are both in our 40's, my first marriage, his 2nd.

I want to deal with relationship problems.

Is my ex bf interested in more?

PinkFlamingo — Sat, 22 Aug 2009 03:28:44 -0400

My ex and I dated on an off for 6+ years through college and after. We've known each other for ~ 10 years and now I'm 27 and he's 29. We just started talking again after a 1 yr hiatus and convo has been great. We txt, IM, and talk on the phone often - usually in extended 3 hr chunks of time. He txts me several times a day - and I usually know when to expect something from him now.

We live in diff cities and haven't seen each other since talking again, but I have mentioned that I will be moving soon for work (perhaps to his city). He often makes references to how we'd hang out at his place to watch movies or his fave shows or brings up how we went to a restaurant in his city before and could go there again. He also mentions things about me that he remembers/likes/that I did/do/etc.

I've also mentioned interest in getting a puppy - and he jokingly said I should get an icky breed. When I said 'oh I'd never' - he said 'good, I don't like those'. Why does it matter if he likes my dog? Perhaps I've thought more about that comment because I mentioned wanting to go rock climbing and he said '.. it'd be cute if you fell a little.. you know, just a little and caught yourself. Then we could all laugh and you could climb up and fall a little more.' (Btw, he jokes with me about being klutzy in case someone misinterprets that as mean.) That was cute to me ~ b/c who is this we and is he planning all this hanging out time? He often makes comments like those.

It should be noted that he is talking to other girls and was before we got back in contact. He is casually dating them and has been quite open with the status of each of his relationships. He's dating them but said they're not his ideal. I asked what his ideal is and he said, 'well obviously - you.' I laughed and said 'oh, of course.' He made some jokes and said 'well, you but not like this and that (silly things) ..' and then said 'nah, my ideal is pretty and dumb' and then we laughed ..

I want to figure out where my relationship is going.

How do I know we will be financially stable?

booie05 — Fri, 21 Aug 2009 10:27:59 -0400

We are young, 25, not married, just dating. We both make around $40K a year (I think.) He says he never wanted a job that he was well known at, but wants a family and to be stable. I come from a family that is probably on the higher end of middle class- we are by no means rich, but we never really had money issues. His family is always struggling for money-he even helps out on paying for the bills and such for them, but im not sure the other siblings do (I think its because he lives so close to his family and maybe feels obligated to do so-I dont want this to be something that he is doing the whole time-I think there comes a time were you have to focus on your own family ) I want to know that if we were to get married, that we would be financially stable in our lives, especially when the time comes to start a family. I dont want to be worrying about money all the time, or not get to travel to visit family because the money isnt there. How do I go about finding out this information without it becoming too personal?

I want to figure out where my relationship is going.

How do I breakup with my girlfriend of 10 years?

writeguy — Thu, 20 Aug 2009 19:00:37 -0400

I've never had to breakup with someone before and it's time to end my relationship. To make things more complex, I don't hate her. In fact I care about her quite a bit and it's not like I don't ever want to see her again. We are really close friends but unfortunately anything romantic is just forced at this point. She cheated on me a few years ago. I walked away but she begged me to come back and I agreed to try to make things work. I moved on but the incident still changed everything for me. Of course it's not just that incident that has brought me to this decision. I have come to realize that our careers and lifestyles are just incompatible. The good news is that we do not live together. However, our families are very close and my parents love her like their own daughter. As you can imagine, I'm having a very difficult time working this out in my head.

So how do I breakup with someone? How do I do it without ruining their life or our friendship? How do I break the news to family without becoming an outcast? Help!

I want to figure out where my relationship is going.

Anyone Else Successfully Made It Through a REALLY Rough Patch?

Rhett — Thu, 20 Aug 2009 17:46:04 -0400

The details.... okay, well, I'm just some dude. My wife's going through something of her own, something I don't fully understand. I'm trying to hold space for her. We've been married 15 years, together 20+. As far as I'm concerned, she's my soul mate. I love her more than anything, ever. She used to be *so* madly in love with me. I mean, sure, we had rough patches, good times & bad like anyone else. But, I always thought we were a permanent team, like an institution or something. I see her as my best friend, confidante, lover, partner in life ... and then one day she just stopped. After 20 years -- and some *damn* passionate ones in there, too -- she was just like, "Uh, I just don't think you're sexy... oh, and I *never* did." She'd met some hot dude in the desert one day who was *so* unbelievably sexy, she said, that it actually redefined sexy for her. I mean, here's a 40-year old woman... she's seen a LOT of hot men in her life, and has dated and made out with a lot of them, too. But NO ONE in the history of all men compares to this super-dude in the desert? WTF? Who was this guy? Like some sort of magical freakin stud from outer space or something? I mean, seriously! 40-years and all the hot men in the whole world, and *no* one compares with this?

Anyway, I know I'm anonymous here, but for the sake of argument, let's just say that I *AM* attractive, ok? And that she used hand-feed my ego on that level, for many years. So, I went digging through emails and love notes from her. I said, "What about this? What about that?" (all notes and things from her telling me how "sexy" -- yes, quoting directly -- she thought I was). I mean, Christ, there are love notes from our younger days that are too steamy for even this site! So, I showed her that stuff, some of it recent, and she got all confused. It was like I was showing her things she'd written that she'd forgotten about (or maybe had repressed in light of the super-stud from outer space).

I want to figure out where my relationship is going.

Why do I dislike being around my fiance's brother and sister??

daisyst4rs — Thu, 20 Aug 2009 15:38:31 -0400

My fiance and I have been dating for almost 3 years and we're having a 2 year engagement because of financial issues. My fiance has 3 siblings, one brother and 2 sisters. He's got a rather large family as well. We're from different states, about 1500 miles apart. We met in college in his hometown 3 years ago. He lost his job 3 months ago and we've been living at his brother's small apartment for almost 2 months and half. I am grateful that we're able to live in an apartment for the time being to let us get back on our feet while we're searching for jobs. His family has always welcomed me ever since the day me and my fiance began dating 3 years ago (they were all excited that I'm obviously the ONE for him). I worked from home selling my own designs and websites online and I got about 700 a month doing this. But ever since his lost his job and we had to relocate 3 states over into a tiny apartment, I've not been able to do my business because of lack of office space. I'm trying to keep my sanity together. I still do some freelancing on the side and I work during the day. My fiance would be out playing basketball all day and his brother works from 8 to 5. I'm left at home cause I don't have the car. I do clean up the apartment and do the dishes, laundry, vacuum, etc etc as my way of saying thank you for letting us stay here til the first snowfall (hopefully). His brother is very possessive and not once have he said thank you for doing his dirty laundry. I'm peeved because I feel like I do alot and I even cook dinner for all 3 of us at least 3 times a week, I do text him (usually twice) to let him know that dinner will be prepared for him as well. He comes home with a sub and claims he never got my text messages about dinner. Pffft. I wasted my own money to cook an extra plate of food for him. He's so possessive to the point that when he does grocery shopping, he jam packs the fridge and freezer and leaving only half of the lower shelf available for me and my fiance.

I want to figure out where my relationship is going.

How do I get my exgirlfriend back, after I know that I've been too clingy?

GoGetter — Thu, 20 Aug 2009 11:05:00 -0400

So 4 months ago, I started dating the coolest girl that I've ever met. She's a single mom, I'm a single dad, with custody of my kids. I have a feeling I might have been the rebound guy. We started dating and we totally clicked. We seriously share a brain. Finish each other's sentences, etc. All of a sudden she started growing distant. She said that I am like her BFF. I have a feeling that I was a little clingy which is TOTALLY unlike me. I'm usually so calm, cool and collected. I never cared if a girl liked me or not. I don't know what brought on or why it was this girl that it happened with. My buddies all say that she's cute, but that I have dated way cuter. I think it's just the fact that she's so awesome is the reason that I wanted to be with her so much.

I totally want her back, and don't know how I should go about doing it.

We're friends, she still calls me, we hang out on the weekends etc. I think I need to put an end to all of the friend stuff, because I don't want to become a permanent platonic friend.

One last important detail... She's a shrink. Yep. A therapist. What the hell did I get myself into...ha ha.

I want to meet someone and fall in love.

Do I move 15 hours away from family for love and work?

booie05 — Wed, 19 Aug 2009 09:32:48 -0400

I have the opportunity to move 15 hours away to be with my boyfriend and for work. I am very close to my family, and my mom is having a hard time with me wanting to move that far away (she doesnt want to not be able to see me and her grandkids whenever that time comes.) I feel as though I need to get out and start my life, and not always worry about being close to home. How do i decide between being with the one i love and hope to one day marry, or being conveniently close to family? There are always planes and cars for visiting right?

I want to figure out where my relationship is going.

Does my girlfriend really love me?

VicFirth2011 — Mon, 17 Aug 2009 19:01:08 -0400

Ok so i've been dating his girl for almost 1 month and i barely found out that she dated this other guy and that he was paying for her phone. so now that guy wants to fight me and he's talking smack about me. I really love that girl and i don't want to lose her again. This is the second time i give her a chance and i don't know if i did the correct thing. Please help get out of this dark hole. I want to make my relationship stronger with that girl

I want to figure out where my relationship is going.

Am I being taken advantage of?

zoey — Sun, 16 Aug 2009 20:03:17 -0400

I am in a relationship of 7 months with a recently separated man ( I am divorced as well) we both have children (daughters of the same age 4). I have begun to feel that he is treating me unfairly. He does not like for me to spend any time with a male friend of mine who happens to be my bestfriend (but who I dated briefly five years ago) but he has a lot of female friends he speaks to on a daily basis. He spends a lot of time with his daughter but unfortunately her mother is always there as well. I encourage his relationship with his daughter of course, but have started to feel like I am not a priority. He spends all of his time with her and his ex. They are constantly going to dinner, zoo, parks, beach etc...In addition to that, he is currently living in the spare bedroom of their home until the custody issue is resolved. He has saved up money and was advised by his attorney that he could now move out and is looking for an apt. Our entire 7 month relationship he has lived with her. We are a legitimate couple and are often seen at work or at other social outings. I have spoken to her on several occasions and have had playdates with her and our kids so I know she knows about me and they are no longer together. He says they have spoken and have agreed that the other is invited to any outing with their daughter in the future. Basically they will not live together but continue to attend the same outings together. His ex has asked that I not be around their daughter while the separation is happening so that she does not get confused so I cannot go to any of these places. Since he spends so much time with them he only sees me once or twice a week usually at night for a movie or whatever. It seems to me that he is getting to live his married life, while seeing me when its convenient. As a feminist, I believe that women should take care of themselves so I have not asked him to pay for anything when we go out or when I am tight on cash.

I want to figure out where my relationship is going.

He comes off as a flirt and i'm sure co-workers flirt back. What do I say/do?

lov2party1 — Sun, 16 Aug 2009 13:28:01 -0400

Ok so, my boyfriend & I have been together for 8yrs. We've been living together for about 2yrs now. But, right before I had him move in w/ me we had taken "a break". Well during that break all of a sudden, he decided to get real friendly with some chicks including some co-works. Well when we got back together is when I found all this out and I so happened to get ahold of these girls #'s (jejeje I know I'm bad) Well I let them know we were back. Anywho, since then the girls who he was "cool" with so happened to quit or get laid off. But, how do I know there ain't nothing else going on at work with someone else?

I want to deal with relationship problems.

Are my reasons for leaving justifiable?

Anonymouss_soul — Sat, 15 Aug 2009 19:13:40 -0400

My fiancé and I have ben togather nearly two years and I'm just not happy anymore. Honestly I wasnt happy after one year I told her this and tried to end the realationship, but she started crying and begging, I felt so bad I couldnt.(I'm very aware this makes me a weak person) I care about her enough to not want to hurt her but I must to leave so I can be happy.

As if that wasnt enough on the plate, we now have a 4 month old son.(I am 21 and she is 20, and yes I know it was stupid to have a child this young) I love my son to death, and it will pain me very much to have to have shared custody.( I grew up with out a father but thats not a story for here.) Anyway, I have tried multiple times to leave but it's always the same.

The main reasons I'm not happy in this realationship are, her jeaoulsy and controling ways. I have dated jealous women before, but hers is extreme. The only women I can talk to and not get my head chewed off for are My mom and my sister, plus her mom and sisters. I have many long time(6 years plus) female friends who I have turned my back on for the sake of this realationship. She tells me how I should look/act/speak. (she got with me knowing I was a lower class "Metal head")

In the past year I have been so moody and down it drives me crazy. I do care for her alot, but at this point I don't belive I can honestly say I'm in love with her. Topping all of this off another woman is constenly on my mind. An ex of mine( ok quite frankly my first serious Gf) who I was talking to again, right before I got with my current.

I know I want to leave, I know its going to be hard, but at this point in my life she has cut me off from all of my friends so I have no one who I can confide in for advice or someone to simply just talk to. I guess thats why Im writing here. You're taking of the time to give me you're opinion would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you Anonymous

I want to meet someone and fall in love.

How do you know when your marriage is over?

misstoyadenise — Sat, 15 Aug 2009 17:29:57 -0400

I'm married to a guy almost a year now. I believe we only got married because we had two kids. I am 21 years old. My husband is 30 and very rude, he has cheated twice that I know of, we fight at least twice a month. I feel like this marriage is a joke. He doesn't treat me the way he did when we first met. It's like a roller coaster, I have to walk on eggshells to be sure to not rub him the wrong way. Anyway I met this guy and he is the complete opposite, he's sweet and he has manners. He's a marine and closer to my age. I want to be with this guy but he don't like to sneak around. I'm thinking about moving out into my own place at the same time I have feelings for my husband and I don't want my kids to grow up without their dad in the home but I'm miserable. What do I do.

I want to deal with relationship problems.

What should I do when my boyfriend suddenly says he needs space?

sarahkocourek — Sat, 15 Aug 2009 15:00:51 -0400

My boyfriend and I have been together for 4 months. He recently moved to my town to be closer to me and to his work. I helped him move, along with his friends and family. He works second shift so I started stopping over (after being invited) for about a half hour on my lunch breaks to see him. Everything seemed great. Then last Sunday, he stopped over and didn't seem himself. He said he would call me later and we would go for a motorcycle ride. He never called. The next day came and he didn't call. I ran into him at a gas station and he said he'd call me later. He did call and asked if I wanted to come over for a bit. When I got there, we sat down and I expressed that I was hurt that he didn't call. He said that he is not used to this. He has only been in one relationship before in his whole life. He said it's moving too fast. He needs his alone time and his space. I'm 30 years old. I want to have a family. Please be frank. Am I wasting my time? What happened?

I want to meet someone and fall in love.

How can my partner overcome a commitment issue?

stergs02 — Sat, 15 Aug 2009 13:02:19 -0400

My partner and I have been together for almost 3 years. We officially broke up in April but around May/June time frame we working things out and got back together. Things are much better than before but just recently I told her the I told her neighbors that we are back together. She just recently freaked out and told me that we are not together and she has a huge commitment issue. She has been married twice, she divorce them both. She doesn't like the labeling part....ie girlfriend. She feels trapped. Also, she had a very high libido and now she says that she isn't horny any more due to the fact that she feels trapped and smothered. How can I work with her to overcome this major commitment issue?

I want to figure out where my relationship is going.

How do you get a man to help out around the house?

canuck — Sat, 15 Aug 2009 13:01:15 -0400

I've been married for almost 5 years and during that time my husband has only helped out around the house maybe 3 times. I work 8-10 hours a day and then come home and want to relax a little bit. He works maybe 2 hours a day. We don't have children, it's just him and I. By time I get home I'm so drained that I have no energy left. We get in fights about the house. He says that I don't do anything in the house when I get home, but neither does he. When I've cleaned the house from top to bottom it's clean when I go to bed, but when I wake up the next morning it's a mess again. When I've asked him to clean it up he says that it was like that when I went to bed. We fight about it so much that I don't know what else to do. It makes me not want to go home right after work. I need HELP!

I want to deal with relationship problems.

What to do with total opposites?

_janalee_ — Sat, 15 Aug 2009 12:15:15 -0400

So my significant other is a major baseball fan and I get that but I don't enjoy spending so much time talking about it and watching it. Then there's the fact that I love animals, and he's allergic to most which granted i understand that. I even tried just geeting a bearded dragon. which he was so unhappy with that he wanted to get rid of her. I'm not sure what to do about this any ideas?

I want to figure out where my relationship is going.

What do i do if my bf is my only friend in the state i'm living in?

tory — Sat, 15 Aug 2009 06:08:26 -0400

I live in LA, and my bf is the only person i spend time with... i've lost all my friends tht i've known since the 2 years i've lived here. but now it seems that we keep arguing and its only been 4 months since we started dating. im so worried that i could lose him too... and i truely feel myself falling in love with him. the reason i've lost touch with all my old friends is because they've misused me, betrayed me and were never really my friends. the last argument i had wit my bf ... was because he had to cancel our date to hangout with a friend that's leaving the next day.. which i didnt mind...n he invited me to hangout with him but i felt that we needed our space even though it hurt me so much because i actually spent 3 hours straightenin my hair for him since he always wanted to see it straight and ended up waitin for him for 5 hours... n in the end he said... u can come over if u want... i felt like he was inviting a bum in the street to come over.... i feel like he dsnt want me there anymore cuz of how much i've been there... but wen im alone im so sad. i dont know what to do.

I want to figure out where my relationship is going.

Why do I lose interest in guys when become interested in me?

Shoshanna — Fri, 14 Aug 2009 15:05:39 -0400

Whenever a guy likes me I find him unappealing. I have no idea why. A friend of mine liked me for two years. I had a thing for him, but he always made it clear how he felt about me so I didn't want to act on my feelings. He moved a few months ago and I could kick myself for never being with him because we had insane chemistry.

Another more recent example begins in high school. I was friend with this guy and we liked each other off and on for four years. I would like him whenever he had a girlfriend and he would like me when he didn't have one. He asked me to every school dance and whenever I'd turn him down he would go with someone else and I would get jealous. He was away at college for two years and just moved back. I missed him while he was gone, but now I am no longer interested!

The guy I can't stop thing about now is my neighbor who is a jerk. I don't want to like him, but I can't help it.

Any idea why I am like this? It's extremely annoying! How can I stop acting this way?

I want to meet someone and fall in love.

Whats wrong with him?

needhelpunderstanding — Fri, 14 Aug 2009 09:57:53 -0400

I've been dating a guy for about 10 mon. I moved in with him right away. He has a 12 yr old daughter. We had sex quite frequently in the beginning but lately for about the past 3 mon. he has avoided it with me. I did gain some weight,but not nearly as much as he has. He spends all his time looking at women on TV and looking at porn. When I ask him about the porn,he denies it. Also his daughter went away to camp for a month,and it only happened once that whole time.He uses the excuse he doesn't want to do it with her her,so we wait until she goes with her mother.But also the last ime she went with her mother,he did everything possible to avoid it.He will let me give him oral,but says no to sex.

I want to figure out where my relationship is going.

why can't I overcome jelousy?

kvs32 — Thu, 13 Aug 2009 18:27:16 -0400

I got married at the age of 18 to my high school sweetheart. Due to my parents upbringing, I was a very naive girl. I've been married for 14 years. I am now 32 years old with 2 boys. Through-out my entire relationship with my husband, I have been a jelous person. About 4 years ago, my husband confessed that had been unfaithful to me for about 2 years. He ofcourse appologized and I decided to forgive him, but I cannot forget what he did. This news ofcourse devestated me and I feel like it increased my jelous mindset. I get furious when I catch him staring at other women. I am constantly, wondering if he is still cheating. I tend to over analyze and sometimes struggle with letting me emotions get the best out of me.

I want to figure out where my relationship is going.

How do I win my wife back and save our marriage?

sad but grateful dad — Thu, 13 Aug 2009 15:36:24 -0400

I'm writing to you out of desperation. I am a 40 year old male who's been married for 9 years. Over the last 7 years my relationship has had more downs than ups. My wife says she misses the guy that she dated and fell in love with 11 years ago. She says our marriage is not what she signed up for. She feels heartbroken, lonely, unloved, unattractive, resentful, worthless,
angry, disappointed, like a failure, etc.

My parents divorced after 38 years of marriage. It was an unaffectionate marriage that I am doing a good job of mirroring. I promised myself that I would never be the dad I had. My wife says I'm a great father and a good co-parent, but a lousy husband. We use to be best friends but over the years we have become good roommates who are now two ships passing in the night.

I don't know what changed. I am definitely in a funk. I love my wife, but I lack passion and desire. I lack empathy and I am apathetic to say the least. All of the good things in my life I owe to my wife pushing me: buying our home, having children, setting goals, etc.

A month ago my wife told me that she's had it. She's tired of waiting for me to change. She's not wearing her wedding rings anymore. She said looking at her rings is a constant reminder of how broken we are. She is not happy in our loveless marriage but she's too scared to leave for the sake of our two children - both are under four years old.

I can't bear the thought of getting a divorce. I do love my wife and want to grow old with her and have our children live in a stable home with two loving parents that are a good example.

A little background info on us. Neither of us has ever had an affair. We do not have money problems. We do not fight. Our problem is my lack of intimacy, lack of desire and my lack of communication. I think I may have General Anxiety Disorder which is causing me to feel slightly depressed. My testosterone levels are on the low side of the normal range and may be a cause for my low libido.

I want to deal with relationship problems.

Is an open relationship right for us???

Skit16 — Wed, 12 Aug 2009 18:17:39 -0400

Okay, When I was in highschool (9th grade to be exact) I fell in love with a girl, i'll call her AR. She wasn't my first gf but she was my first at quite a bit of other things (if you catch my drift) However, we were both a little "unfaithful" so it didn't quite work out. She moved on to another girl named CJ and eventually they went off to the same school and moved in with one another (AR was in 11th grade when I was in 9th. That was probably our first problem) I moved on also to another girl named BC. But deep inside I always felt like AR was the one for me. We click so well and she is the only one who makes me feel like a better person just by being in the same room with her. I loved BC, but it felt like I was loving her with the corner of my heart that AR didn't own.
So fast foward, BC asks me to marry her. And, in my haste, I agreed. We planned to take a trip to Boston and do the real thing, and then have a ceremony at the botanical gardens in our hometown. This was back in march (this is all very recent) We were planning and everything, and I told AR and she seemed happy for me seeing as how she and CJ STILL lived together and seemed to be doing well. I invited her and she said she'd be there when the date came. Okay, so around this time I started having these dreams. They were always about AR. Some of them were sex dreams and some of the dreams just included us getting back together. I made the mistake of telling AR and that's when the flirting began.
In early May I told AR (in a joking manner) that I wanted sex for my birthday since my fiance' was back in GA (where im from) and I was in Alabama at school and had been without for a long time. I told AR this in a text. I was slightly shocked when she sent a text back that read "I got you" as in, she'd be the one to give it to me. So fast forward to May 19th. My b-day was great and I spent it with the people I loved. The night of the 19th I get a call and its AR asking if i'm at home in Ga.

I want to figure out where my relationship is going.

Im not in love with the father of my child, what should i do?

perrykaty99 — Wed, 12 Aug 2009 12:35:55 -0400

I am 20 years old. I have a one year old son. I have come to realize that i am not IN love with the father (my boyfriend) of my son. That i am IN love with someone else. I love my boyfriend, but not in the way that i should, when you want to spend the rest of your life with someone. I have more of a friendly tie to him. We do not get along as a couple should. We get along as a divorced couple does. I have a really guilty conscious and i find myself making a hard decision that i can not make alone. I know it is my decision in the end. But i need some insight. Here is where i am at...We are still living with his parents and his mother and i do not get along, AT ALL. i do not know that if we eventually move out, uf the strain between my boyfriend and i would life or just be worse. And i have nothing buy a high school diploma behind me so i can not support my son alone. The man i am in love with, (no i have not cheated on my boyfriend) he is now a marine and lives far away but loves me more than anything and excepts that i am a mother.
I am lost and stuck in a rut i have not idea what to do...

I want to figure out where my relationship is going.

How do you know if your partner of 8 yrs is still in love with you?

hotmama30 — Tue, 11 Aug 2009 15:51:37 -0400

I have been with this man for 8 years and we have 1 child together but it seems like al we do lately is fight and bicker over the craziest things and it's the same fight all the time. We have hardly any intimacy anymore and we are a young couple in our thirties we should be alot happier together don't you think?

I want to figure out where my relationship is going.

What do you do if a guy you've been talking to decides to end it because he's leaving the country?

SingleSrta — Tue, 11 Aug 2009 12:07:15 -0400

I met a great guy and we talked on a daily basis. The chemistry was there and I thought this had the potential to be something great.
Then I found out he got a job that will take him overseas. However, he doesn't know when he is going overseas - whether it be in 6 months or a year and a half. When I found out I was disappointed because I wondered why would he think about entering a relationship in the first place.
After his first orientation at work he realized the effect the job was going to have on his personal life and then a few days later told me it was probably best to end it now before we got to know each other even more.
I am left extremely disappointed... because while knowing he could leave, I was willing to risk it. But I understand also where he is coming from. I suggested being friends -which I think he is down with... but I don't know... what would you do?

I want to deal with relationship problems.

What's an appropriate amount to spend on a wedding gift?

genevieve — Tue, 11 Aug 2009 11:55:15 -0400

People seem to have wildly different opinions on this subject. Some say $100 minimum, others $50. What do you say?

I want to deal with relationship problems.

Should I stay or should I go...(back)?

LaLa01 — Mon, 10 Aug 2009 21:14:14 -0400

Been together almost 9 years, have 2 kids' together. I left mid-June, he said he misses me and his life is destroyed.
One major prob. I had was that I wanted to get married and he didn't. Well now he has a ring and promises he's ready to make me his wife. He has changed some, he's more considerate than before, more now than before I come first. I want to go back but am very afraid that life will go back to what it was before. We were unhappy, barely talking and not having sex. The lines of communication are better now, not perfect.
My family hates him because he's done and said rotten things in the past. That makes it really hard to deal with.
I don't know what to do. I'm stuck and need some advice.

I want to deal with relationship problems.

How to know when a liar tells the truth?

applescinnamon — Mon, 10 Aug 2009 20:38:47 -0400

My bf of year and half lied the whole time together about being with another woman. he had an affair on his wife, left her the woman he had the affair with was also married but didn't leave her husband. he's been with her last 5 yrs. i believed it had ended b/w them, it hadn't. he has lied so many times it has left me totally confused on when he is telling the truth - and this goes only as far as our relationship is concerned. I believe he tells the truth about other things. He is totally dishonest with me about her and him though.

I want to deal with relationship problems.

Too fast too soon?

TinyPineBox — Mon, 10 Aug 2009 17:00:38 -0400

I met this guy around a month ago and we kinda just clicked. However, hes got some major emotional issues and I want to help him with that. I dont know if I'm being clingy or setting him up to be possesive of his next girlfriends but I've been trying to spend a lot of time with him. and i've been trying to help him with his emotions but I'm not sure if its too much too soon? or if its too fast for him. We've already talked about his past and I've talked about mine too. I'm just not sure where to go from here. Hes got a pretty sad past and its effecting him as a person. Help please?

I want to deal with relationship problems.

Any advice for getting over my ex?

sg15 — Mon, 10 Aug 2009 03:20:37 -0400

I broke up with my ex girlfriend for the third time in January. She couldn't make up her mind about being with me or waiting for ex boyfriend to come around. We were together a total of two years. She's 22 and I'm 26. The issue I'm having is I'm still in love with her. We tried to talk through emails and it failed. I honestly feel like she wants to keep me around because her ex boyfriend really treats her bad. The second time we got back together we had talked about moving in with each other in 2009. I've dated four women since her and it's been the same for me. I don't feel the same as I did when I was with my ex. We have seen each other around town before. Her with her boy friend and me with a woman I was dating at the time. I did have one incident when I walked into a bar on a date and she did her best to ruin my night. She made a scene and I was forced to leave. Her oldest sister is engaged with my best friend for 10 years and they have two kids who are like my nieces. The two of us are both in the wedding. I'm going to see my ex for the rest of my life. While we were together we had talked about marriage and back in September we were going to start a family but I was laid off from work so we decided to wait. I have my days where I do miss her. I guess it's because she made me feel special. I guess its because I thought she was the one. I caught myself one day looking at rings and I just knew I wanted to marry her. After our last break up I had some serious talks with some of her family. Her dad two of her older sisters and even her grandmother wanted to have a talk with me. They were upset with her treating me the way she did. They also said that I treated her very well and they missed having me around. I'm trying my best with this new woman I'm dating. I don't want to rush myself. Any help or advice you can give me will be greatly appreciated.

I want to deal with relationship problems.

Is it ok to date a girl 4 1/2 years younger?

soxfan14 — Mon, 10 Aug 2009 00:44:23 -0400

A 21 year old and a 17 year old are very much in love and have been for 2, almost 3 years. Is there anything that should keep them from being together? Whatever seems to happen they always find themselves back with each other.

I want to figure out where my relationship is going.

How do you stop loving someone?

cjsljk — Sun, 09 Aug 2009 22:39:57 -0400

Met him four years ago on yahoo and fell in love with him...Everytime we get close....he stops talking to me. Im tired of being hurt...How do I stop loving him?