Relationship experts Matt Titus and Tamsen Fadal share some guidelines you should follow when deciding whether or not to get back together with an ex.
GETTING BACK TOGETHER
Evan Rachel Wood and Marilyn Manson (in case you're new, Evan is the girl) have rekindled their romance, and we are frantically searching for bleach to scrub our eyes, because for the love of tiny baby pandas, this is wrong.
What if you still both love each other (either consciously or subconsciously), yet you’ve gone your separate ways? Maybe you never moved on from the feelings you have because no one else compared, or you both weren’t at places in your lives to make things work. In that case, there’s potential to re-ignite the relationship.
Should you take back your ex? While you don't owe every dude you've done a second chance, there are those select few who you just have to give it to. However, before you go re-welcoming them with open arms, you have to think about what exactly you're going to also have to embrace about him. Here's how you can see if he's worth giving another shot.
Many couples decide to get back together after a long or short period following separation or divorce. While reuniting is exciting, it is also stressful. Many thoughts enter the couple's mind: Will it last this time? Will it turn sour again when we are living together? Does my partner think about the other lovers? Will he/she abandon me again? How will our extended family and friends react? Sorting through this emotional turmoil is hard enough; but when children are involved, it's a whole different ballgame. The primary concern for these couples is: How will this affect our children? Read on for tips.
If anyone ever had a reason not to get back with an ex, I did. He was the quintessential on-and-off Bad Boyfriend and not only were all my friends painfully aware of this fact, when he dumped me on the same day my father died (think Jessica and Tony birthday sitch x 10), then again after a similar life tragedy, it had finally become clear to me as well. I moved on fast. Literally days after he'd hit me with yet another, "I can't do this anymore," I somehow managed to enter into a relationship with a man who was easygoing and ridiculously sweet, so I hardly had time to mourn.
In her new book, Getting Past Your Breakup, Susan J. Elliot says that a rule of No Contact with your ex is necessary to fully heal and grieve after a tough breakup. Although she understands how difficult this notion can be (she has personal experience in the department of contacting exes), she says, "in order to truly get past your breakup, you need to separate emotionally, physically, and psychologically from the relationship, and the primary way to do that is to stop talking to your ex."Read: Stay Together or Break Up? How To Decide Now
Don't. Call. Me. Ever. Again. Who among us hasn't uttered these five words to a boyfriend in the heat of a breakup? But you may find yourself missing the guy and wondering if things could have been different. Your ex is familiar territory, but is it a country that you should consider revisiting? And if so, how? Learn when it's healthy to get back together with an ex, and how to win him back.
when Joe, my boyfriend of only six months, and I called it quits, I couldn't stop thinking that things weren't supposed to turn out this way. I must've been on to something because in just a few months Joe came calling and his "let's get back together" speech was heavy. Something like: "I want to make this work. Get married. Have kids." Could it work after our difficult break up? And for good? Well, in under a year we were engaged. And as I sit here today I can say we've been happily married for almost two years. But what was different that second time around? What made it work?