The moment I was born, I had my first "coming out" experience. Of course, it meant nothing to me — my mental capacity was yet incapable of grasping what "coming out" and being gay meant. Still, the DNA wire crossing was complete, never to be undone.
If you have come to the realization that you’re gay and you’ve got kids, I’m sure you are stressed and worried about the impact it could have on your kids AND you are probably wondering what your experience will be like as a gay parent. Therefore, I thought it would be helpful to talk about specific age groups and what the experiences can be like for both you and your kids.
“I’m just not attracted to you...We’re not compatible...Our goals are different...” all valid justifications for calling it quits in a relationship. Yet, even those with perfect hearing don’t tune into the true undertones of the subliminal messaging, until the megaphone is held up to their ear, and blaringly your spouse says...”I’m gay and I’m coming out!” Not necessarily in my "Top 10 Ways On How To 'Come Out!" Regardless of how you do it, dead silence, shock, and utter disbelief usually hang in the air.
Once the cheers have gone silent, the stadiums and arenas are left to the cleaning crews and the uniforms go to the laundry, one thing remains the same ... we're all human and we should all be given the freedom to be who we are.
We're just days before the big "C" — Christmas. Chanukah has passed and Thanksgiving is a distant memory. Hustle, bustle, parties and keeping-up-appearances is in full swing. Yet, no matter the year, the holiday season brings its own version of joy and folly for many people.
On Friday, the Supreme Court agreed to hear two cases, one regarding the legality of gay marriage and whether the federal rights granted to heterosexual couples should also be granted to same sex couples. Depending on how they decide by next summer, gay marriage could be legal in the United States!
So you got his name, got his number, had a few conversations via phone and text and there’s some talk about going the two of you going on a date. You are excited about getting some face time, but also nervous because you are not sure of how things will turn out. Where to go and what should you do? Will you guys hit it off or will the evening be riddled with awkward silence? Will you still find each other attractive upon second look?
Not to be flippant but there’s no real answer. At least that’s my belief. As much as you want to know, “Why did you marry me and then tell me you’re gay?” there may not be ‘an answer!’ Read carefully between the lines here...there may not be an answer [singular]! Quite honestly, there’s more than likely a long list of answers, and none of them will completely satisfy your need, want, and desire to be absolved and to make them [your husband or your wife, depending on the scenario] pay.
This weekend, Washington state celebrated its first same-sex marriages. Last month, Washington, Maryland and Maine became the first three states to legalize gay marriage via the popular vote. Marriage equality, as we've pointed out before, has been one of the big winners in this year's presidential election. But how are these strides impacting the public's perception of gay unions, alternative relationships and the traditional relationship model? As one columnist voiced, "will promiscuity define young gays forever? I don't think so."
This article was originally written and featured at MUSED Magazine Online. Why are you single? A simple but effective question that all singles ask when they jump into the dating process. As Chicago’s resident gay matchmaker, I make it point to ask all of my clients why they feel that they are single, because it gives me an idea as to whether or not they are even ready to pursue a relationship.
Could same sex couples finally have an answer on the question of gay marriage? The courts and country have been split on the issue, effectively leaving the future marriage and fate of gay and lesbian couples up in the air - until now.
The Jack O’ Lantern’s have hardly hit the compost heap these days before the first overt whispers of the holidays invade the retail shelves. On top of that, now Mom has declared Thanksgiving Dinner is now Brunch so that she and Aunt Tilly can get to Wal-Mart for the pre-Black Friday Sales that start at 8 pm on Thanksgiving Day. As if that isn’t enough to drive you crazy, you also have to deal with the coin toss over whether you’re going to his families or yours.
Three plus weeks and counting, and the rumors and truths continue to fly across the media as to where, when, why, what, and how Joe Simpson, Manager and Father of Jessica Simpson, “came out of the closet.” All mud slinging aside, the fact remains he’s now out, had a “lover” on the side, and it appears was being extorted for money to keep things hush, hush. That’s what we know, so to speak.
It seems like a million years ago that I was an introverted, closeted lesbian, forced to spend every day in a suffocating classroom, in a rural farm community. Looking at me now, you would probably never know that I came from a primarily white, protestant, homophobic town in Southeast Michigan. Now, I confidently wear a James Dean-esque haircut and boxer briefs, but, just six years ago, I was struggling to come out in a high school where it was commonplace for prominent gay figures to be slandered.
In my last article I shared how staying in the closet saved my children’s lives, and helped them grow up to be open-minded, strong young ladies. However, there’s a third person in this equation that I want to now address – my ex-wife. The person who also lost life as she knew it, began second guessing herself, and ironically ended up finding out who she really was from this experience.