We heard it might happen. . . some were certain it would. As we walked down the aisle to become Husband and Wife – bound together in a true soul partnership, we heard from other “childless by choice couples” that we’d lose friends over this lifestyle decision. We thought, “Okay, maybe those peripheral friends, those ones we see only a couple times a year at best.”
Last week I found myself having to swallow some of my own medicine. I didn’t like it, but it reminded me how hard it is to manage oneself. I’d gotten into a major disagreement with my trainer, a man I’ve been friends with for at least 10 years. I really like him. It’s always been a smooth relationship between us, so the fight took me by surprise. Him, too, I’m sure. Why we fought doesn’t really matter, but we really didn’t speak for about a week and there was a lot of tension between us.
Screen legend Elizabeth Taylor passed away on March 23 at the age of 79. The cause was congestive heart failure—which seems a little crazy to us. Throughout her rich lifetime, Liz's heart never failed her. She leaves behind an unparalleled legacy of love. She might have been known for her many marriages, but her relationships extended beyond that of a spouse. A humanitarian, friend and mother, as well, Taylor taught us time and time again about the lessons we can learn through each love and each relationship.
60 couples who had been dating two years or more were split into two groups and paired up to have conversations. Half the couples were instructed to just make small talk, the other half were given specific, emotionally-laden topics to discuss. Three months later, none of the small talk couples had kept in touch, but 1/3 of the deep discussion couples had actually become friends. (Let this be a lesson to us all—small talk does not a friendship make.) The 33% of couples who made new friends in the name of science reported feeling more "excited, enthusiastic, happy and closer to their partner" when compared with all the other couples involved in the study.
It's natural—when seeking out a healthy love relationship—to want to change yourself for the better. You think that a new haircut will make him fall in love again... a pretty dress will turn heads... an extreme diet and exercise regimen will make you worth loving. And these things can put an extra bounce in your step. But the best way to attract love into your life is to live your best life, a life in which romantic love is just the cherry on top. Has your social life—or lack thereof—been holding you back from love... and from overall happiness? We asked three experts for tips on how you can evaluate your social habits, and change them for the better.
All this hardcore befriending of women has come with its share of torment. There's been much "Why haven't you f**ked her?" (from my father/friends) and "Why aren't you two dating?" (from my mom/sisters). It's like, have none of you seen "Fool's Gold"? If Matthew McConaughey and Kate Hudson can be two beautiful people who shared that beautiful experience and be friends instead of married with eight kids right now, then surely platonic love is real.
You can spend your whole life looking for the man who loves you for who you truly are, knows about your oddest behaviors and still accepts you, or you can pick up your phone and call your best guy friend—because he already is that man. It may be weird to start thinking of him in "that way" but it all comes down to two words: shared history. Need more? Here are ten reasons to help push you over the edge.
Crushing on friends is nothing new. But for gays and lesbians, the whole thing is a little more difficult to navigate. My crushes on female friends raised a whole host of questions. It was never simply, "Does she like me?" It was more like, "Does she even like girls?" or "Will this ruin our friendship?" or "Could this scare her away?" or "If I tell her will she still want to hang out?" or ... well, I could go on and on.
As I get older and my life becomes more complicated, I've noticed that my desire to spend time with certain friends has waned. Not that I don't love and care for them, but for various reasons, these friendships have become too complicated or too negative to warrant the effort that it takes to keep them going. How sad.