I'm in a relationship where we put all of our cards on the table. We are honest about our feelings with one another, and we're honest about our feelings about other people. Every once in a while he tells me that a really cute redhead cruised him at the coffee shop. I respond by showing him a dirty text message one of my guy friends sent me. The result? We just laugh at each other, then have amazing sex driven by the attraction other people have for us.
On Sunday evening, Angie and I attended a “silent rave” in Union Square Park, which is essentially a few hundred people dancing wildly to the music on their iPods. So if you’re walking by and happen to see this, it looks like a few hundred crazies rocking out to no music. And I mean, rocking out – arms flailing, rave-type stuff. It sounded like a lot of fun and another chance to act like a kid again (and Angie loves stupid fun just as much as I do) so we hopped on the idea. It was crazier than I imagined. There was a conga line, beach balls, lit-up pineapples, Japanese break dancers, a girl in a banana costume, lots of NYPD, and Angie and I, jumping up and down, screaming, “I KISSED A GIRL AND I LIKED IT!” After much effort, we had synched some of the tracks on our iPods so we could vibe to the same song.
The Sex and the City movie shined light on a phenomenon that nearly every woman deals with at one point or another: clashing with a friend's love interest. But in real life when the friends don't get along with the boyfriend, things rarely resolve neatly. "Says Allison, a twentysomething who lives in Manhattan, 'I have over time disliked a friend's choice of men many times... I felt like she often chose men who were selfish, destructive, patriarchal, and lacking depth. We often clashed because when her boyfriends would hurt her... I would get in full defense mode.' Unfortunately, even as Allison helped her friend through the hardships in her friend's romances, their friendship fizzled because of her friend's less-than-gallant boyfriends." Learn more about the friend vs boyfriend debate by reading the full article.
He's your gay best friend and no straight man can live up to him. But does he keep you from dating other people? Do you secretly wish he were straight? No matter how much platonic love you have for him, romance probably isn't in the cards for the two of you. Ephi Stempler, a gay man who is no stranger to this type of intimacy, explores how this friendship can damage your chance for healthy relationship. He calls it the "Will and Grace dilemma". Stempler writes, "One of the sitcom's primary contributions to popular culture was its ability to candidly portray the feeling of being in love with one's best friend. As the title characters slipped into codependency worthy of an all-consuming romance, they found it increasingly difficult to cultivate meaningful relationships with other men. And because the list of women I've known and loved is—sadly—twice as long as the list of men I've loved and slept with, I, too, have fallen prey to the 'Will and Grace dilemma.'"
No matter what lovestage you're in, a girl crush is a way to satisfy your craving for infatuation and remind yourself of your best qualities. YourTango explores the intense platonic feelings of admiration, inspiration or just plain excitement another woman can inspire. "Lately, it seems like everyone has one. Hardly a tabloid goes by without announcing Lindsay Lohan's new best friend or Britney Spears's latest source of emotional support. What's more, you don't have to attend boarding school or emulate Cynthia Nixon to play this game. A girl crush is strictly platonic, an admission that a head over-heels tumble can just as easily be set off by a budding friendship as by an office flirtation—no strings (or kissing) attached. Best of all, girl crushes need never stop. Whether you're single or taken, a girl crush is a way to satisfy your craving for infatuation and remind yourself of your best qualities. Unless you have some seriously possessive women in your life, there's always room for a few more friends."