You are in a state. "Pangs of love," you say as you roll over on the couch, pantomiming stab motions to the heart. Your roommate looks bemused. It's the third or fourth date, and lately you've been struggling to hold off sending those late-night, inappropriate text messages. "Head. Heels. You. Me." (send--no wait, delete.) Instead, you're on your knees, head in hands, summoning the forces of the universe to carry your love cry out to the one you desire. Does he hear? Maybe. Will it be returned? The silence of everything you feel and everything that has not been communicated is deafening. Surely he feels it, too? Why do you not pick up the phone and call? Why did you cancel on Friday? Why are you still not Facebook friends? Why? Because Beth Wareham says so.
FINDING MR. RIGHT
Buzzfeed posted a great list from Tiny Cartridge of "Boyfriend Criteria," including the usual "smart," "cute," "funny," and the more unusual like "did not pick Charmander as first Pokémon." There's also a list of pluses ("glasses," "good shoes," "good tattoo") and minuses ("annoying," "too tight pants," "think you're sooo smart"). Since I'm getting married in three days (!!!), the list got me thinking about my "husband criteria" and how well my fiancé fits my list. After the jump, see how he does.