How well do you argue? I spent most of my life in the dark about how to stand up for my rights without alienating my partner. As a people pleaser, I’d let things slide for a while before addressing them – and then I’d be so upset, I’d implode. Or, I’d stand up for myself in a way that made my partner run for the hills. Sound familiar?
Traditional marriage therapist advice can help you communicate better and more clearly. But it's hard to do that if you don't know WHY you're arguing. Learn why some of your triggers may be as old as you are — and how to overcome the barriers to honest talk.
One of the questions we are often asked is, "Can arguing be healthy for a marriage?" The simple answer is, "Yes!" When a husband and wife argue, they are engaging in a perfectly normal and expected part of what it means to be married. In fact, disagreement between two people in love is actually healthy for their relationship. The question that couples should be asking is, "How do we argue effectively and fairly?"
How many times have you heard the words, "If you love me you will trust me" or "Why don't you just trust me?" I don't know how those words feel in your gut but they always fill me with even more distrust than I was originally feeling. Of course any admonitions that you "should" feel trust are designed to circumvent your internal warning system. Whether that is accomplished with assurances or threats or attempts to shame you doesn't really matter. The end result is the same.
Renowned lesbian matchmaker and relationship coach, Dr. Frankie Bashan of Little Gay Book, will discuss four behaviors we should all be aware of and do our best to manage. Dr. Frankie is a clinical psychologist and relationship coach with a decade of experience helping people just like you overcome challenges of all kinds. Based on Dr.
In political chambers throughout the country, including in our national Capitol, political leaders give annual addresses to talk about how we are doing and what challenges we need to face in the year ahead. Thinking about the highlights offered in the State of the Union tonight, there are similar categories that you could use to evaluate your union. How would you rate your marriage, domes
Setting boundaries in relationships can be difficult for adults.Understanding what teasing is fun and which is hurtful is hard for everyone. It is even more difficult for children to comphrend. One of the main goals of a child is to fit in and be well liked by their peers. Sometimes a message the child is receiving can have a barbed edge or be a subtle put-down by what your child believes is a friend. What is Teasing
When a couple comes in for therapy, I need to remember that they have been doing other things with their lives and passions, not mastering intimacy-building techniques. Usually, they are beginners and the best thing we can do in our sessions is slow down ...
We've all had aha moments ... that sudden thrill of something you hadn't understood before, the glimpse of a possibility, that moment when you finally "get it." Merriam-Webster recently added the term to its famous dictionary, and defines it as: a moment of sudden realization, inspiration, insight, recognition, or comprehension. Here are four things you should do with an aha moment:
Thirty years of marriage counseling and twenty-five years of a second marriage have convinced me that fights are not necessary in a marriage. Married couples need to have discussions, they need to solve problems, and sometimes they need to disagree, but they don’t need to squabble, argue, bicker or fight. Fights are dramatic, which is not helpful to a discussion. If you have enough energy to create drama, you have more than enough to tone it down into a discussion.
Does fighting with your boyfriend or husband bring out the worst in you? When you get upset or angry, do you lash out like a rebellious teenager? Are you worried that you might eventually say or do something you will later regret? Good news: you're not alone. In this video, women's advocate, founder of the SWAT Institute and YourTango Expert Crystal Andrus offers advice about how to keep your inner-teenager in check wh
Fighting can cause severe damage to a relationship. Yet on another hand, if it is done appropriately and honestly, it can open doors to better communication which will lead to a better relationship. Here are a few tips on fair fighting: 1.Choose your battles wisely. You may want to write down the issues YOU are having. Remember, because you are having issues, does not mean your partner is. People are individually different species. Stick to only one topic in your talk. If there are several issues to be resolved, it might be best to arrange separate times to deal with each.
Yes, arguments happen and no, they aren't always pretty. And, thanks to the differences in the way our brains are wired, men and women handle them differently. Luckily our friends at Tokii polled their users to give us some helpful tips on working through conflict in a relationship.