Growing up in a relatively typical Chinese family in Singapore, I received very little sexuality education. Let me give you the context: I did not know that what I had "down there" was called the vulva even though I had the "bits." I did not attempt to pronounce the word penis until I was 26, and as if that by itself was not awkward enough, I was then told that I said it wrong! Here are nine things that I wish I had learned in sex-ed as a teenager...
I hate rules. I hate telling women to follow them. I like offering mindful 'dos' and 'don'ts' that women can use as guidelines to make sure they are on track with acting like one half of a considerate, respectful, loving, and caring whole. Rules, on the other hand, seem stifling and repressing to a woman’s individuality. I think, however, that the following rule is very empowering and actually helps relieve women of stifling insecurities and releases repressed sexual urges. So I will allow myself to suggest it. Here it is:
Myth 1: Lube is For old people Actually, lube is for anyone who wants to have a lot of sex. Or sex in a short amount of time. Or anal sex. Or sex with a condom. Or sex when they are feeling a bit stressed and their body is not keeping up with their libido. Or for anyone taking antihistamines… You see where I am going with this, right? Artificial lube is a great thing for your sex life and it will serve you to get comfortable with it.
Last week, a children’s bookseller, Elizabeth Bluemle wrote a fascinating blog over at Publisher’s Weekly Shelf Talker – about being “enamored of an adult non fiction selection called Shameless: How I Ditched The Diet, Got Naked, Found True Pleasure, and Somehow Got Home in Time To Cook Dinner. It’s the story of th
Sex and sexual expression are learned. But, one thing that you will learn is that doing what feels good is inherent and biologically determined. In other words we innately know what feels good based on our biology. But, we must learn to feel comfortable enough to explore and express it.
Zestra Essential Arousal Oils, that all-natural blend of botanical oils meant to prime ladyparts for sex, has had a tough time getting TV advertising space. Not only have Facebook and WebMD refused to run Zestra's ad, most radio stations and TV networks have only OK'd the spot for the late-night graveyard or other non-primetime shifts. Was there ever such hoopla over erectile dysfunction ads? Why do men regaining erections get Superbowl commercial spots while middle-aged ladies desiring more orgasms can only be seen by insomniacs? Is there a double standard, or is the ad really just too suggestive? Watch it and tell us.
Whether you are eighteen or eighty eight, being a woman can be celebratory if you are willing to learn from all the different stages and ages we all inevitably go through. Each transition is a new journey and the destination may not be what you expected, but it can be memorable and magical, especially if you possess a positive attitude.
Sometimes, Mother's Day is a little under-whelming. Ashley Madison founder Noel Biderman believes that this causes many women to have affairs starting the day after the holiday. Are we less tolerant of sexless marriages? Are uncommon arrangements becoming more common? Do you think crummy Mother's Days may lead to more cheating?
I didn’t want to be a stripper. Really, I have no idea what I wanted from the exotic dance class I’d enrolled in at an adult education center. I didn’t know whether the course catalog’s promise to help “create a full repertoire of floor-routine and chair moves you can use in enticing performances” was an achievable or even worthwhile goal. But there I was in a leotard and stilettos, undulating my hips against an inert and perfectly innocent chair. The first order of business on day one was to pick our stripper names. The gaggle of married lady friends in matching pink leotards seemed to be in a geographical mood, seeing as how they chose names like Savannah, Sierra and Asia. The mousy woman recently dumped by her boyfriend chose Sexy Sadie because it was her ex’s favorite Beatles song. The pretty but uptight Indian woman apparently didn’t grasp the smutty aspect of the renaming process because she replaced her
Female sexuality isn't well understood, even by scientists: examining the biology of arousal. Meredith Chivers uses evolutionary biology to explain why women's bodies and minds are turned on by different things. Lisa Diamond believes that women's sexuality is much more flexible than is generally understood, and that women are more turned on by emotional intimacy. Marta Meana works on the theory that female lust hinges on narcissism—that is, being desired. Are any of them right? No one knows.