After cohabitating with three different men, the author declares her right to live alone despite society's pressure to move in. "Ever since I was a small child, I've wondered why people should have to live together. It's wonderful when you want to be together, mind you, but what about when you don't? Doesn't it make more sense to have the option, either way? Sometimes I spend a few days at my boyfriend's house. It is always difficult to leave. It is also always great to come home—at once comforting, liberating, exciting, even. What adventures await me here, in my own place, in the soft white whispers of my own private sanctuary, between my pen and my notebooks and me? There are days I scarcely leave my desk. I don't have to. I don't want to. And that's the end of it.
Despite the teary goodbyes, lonely nights, flight delays, and outrageous phone bills, an estimated 14 million Americans are currently in LDRs, according to the Center for the Study of Long Distance Relationships. That number includes couples of all kinds, from those who fell for each other while living on opposite coasts to those who've been married for years but decided to live apart while she takes that plum international assignment or he goes back to school. How do they do it? The simple answer is that, barring the occasional attack on a hotel clerk, long-distance relationships can work—and work well. Research suggests that they don't break up at any greater rate than traditional, geographically close ones. Plus, multiple studies have found that LDR couples' levels of relationship satisfaction, intimacy, trust, and commitment are identical to their geographically close counterparts. LDR couples might worry more about infidelity, but they don't actually cheat more.
Hey; you. Put down the Chex Mix. And don't even think about adding booze to that powdered iced tea mix and calling it a cocktail. Where are your manners? Instead; take some entertaining cues from Southern sisters and new Tango columnists; Lauren and Anne Purcell; who are co-authors of Cocktail Parties; Straight Up! The punchy guide; excerpted here; contains food and drink recipes; quick decorating tips; and tricks to get guests to mingle. Now that's hospitality.
Tango talks with actress Kari Matchett about home, her career, her separation and why starting over made her adopt a new attitude about love.
Planning the wedding isn't the only stressful thing about getting married. Troubleshoot this exciting time so that you can walk down the aisle without any weight on your shoulders. Most brides are afraid to give in to their sadness and fear, thinking that once they turn on the faucet, it'll never shut off. In reality, emotions work the opposite way. What helps brides most is to embrace reality instead of remaining wedded to their fantasies.
Getting married or know someone getting married? Need a little help with a florist, DJ, photographer or something else? We've listed some of the best online resources to get you from engaged to your honeymoon. Inside you'll find sites with advice on gifting for charity, creating a personal wedding website, planning an inexpensive ceremony, DIY weddings registering for gifts, hiring limos, designer wedding gowns, local florists, bands, and wedding singers, unusual wedding ideas and more. Also check out the comments where YourTango users list their favorite online wedding planning solutions.
All of you would be wedding guests know that attending a wedding can be stressful. Wedding etiquette demands that your attention remain focused on the bride, but what about the pressure it puts on you and your budding relationship? Tango investigates. "Any bride will tell you—at great length—how stressful it is to plan a wedding. But what about the guests? Rarely does anyone acknowledge their pain. Every year there are around 2.2 million weddings in the United States, and roughly 300,000 weddings here in the U.K. Multiply that by the length of the average guest list—about 200, in both countries—to get a sense of just how many of us go through the familiar routine: pick main course, pick present, pick outfit, pick date. If you’re in a serious relationship, the last choice is already made for you, but you can still find yourself picking—at each other. The truth is that these lovely, sacred events—opportunities for voyeuristic romance and, hopefully, some amour of your own—often wreak havoc on relationships that are, shall we say, at the tipping point."
We know; we know. We could all be a little more conscientious about flossing our teeth; dosing up on antioxidants; calling our grandmothers; and protecting our skin from the sun (every day). In the name of preventative care; can Tango entice these three intrepid couples to make sunscreen a part of their daily routines?
What’s your idea of the ultimate romantic travel getaway? Private motu in Tahiti, table for two at a Parisian bistro, fuzzy rug by the fireplace in Aspen? All good. But the spectacular scenery and a secluded setting provided by camping in the great outdoors can be equally sexy and sumptuous—not to mention perfectly priced. Here’s a sampling of places, from almost rustic to downright regal, where the two of you can get back to nature. Includes national parks, cabins in canyons, and island vacations (albeit a slightly more rugged island than you might be used to).
Having recently moved into an apartment in the East Village, the divorced author and mother consults with a feng shui expert to see if anything can help her with new relationships and snaring dates.
Throw a sophisticated, grown-up version of those wild soirees you used to have in college. Hosting a party doesn't have to be all stress, it can be quite fun. Because just like those college days, the key to a good cocktail party is the right spirits, the perfect mixers, your closest friends, and maybe some snack to soak up the drinks.
Have you ever wondered what happens when readers follow an advice columnist's sex tips to a T? In this piece, read tongue in cheek letters to the fictional "American Vixen" magazine and see how the (imaginary) readers handled advice on how to deal with a poor body image.
Like video games? You and your partner pressing each others’ buttons may be the right way to go. Even though a long-term relationship can often mean going from roses and romance to sweatpants and video games, it doesn’t have to be a bad thing. Involve yourself in each other’s greatest pleasures, like playing his favorite racing game, and beating each other up or kicking it side-by-side in fighting games.
For the best advice on sex, love, dating and relationships we ask two experts with personal experience. Cathi Hanauer is the author, most recently, of Sweet Ruin, a novel about love, marriage, and adultery. Daniel Jones is the editor of both the "Modern Love" column for The New York Times, and Modern Love, an anthology derived from the column. They've been married for 15 years, and together they provide a his and hers take on relationship questions. This round: when's the best time to break up?Question: My girlfriend of two years and I are traveling to South America this fall to attend her best childhood friend's wedding. We've been planning this trip for almost a year, including two extra weeks of trekking in the Andes with some friends afterwards. Here's the problem: Without going looking for anything, I met someone else, and I want (and need) to end my current relationship, even though it kills me to think of hurting my girlfriend. If it weren't for this upcoming trip, I would have already done it. Should I tell her what's going on before we go or after we get back? —R.S., Boston, Mass.
Looking for love can be about as much fun as having your teeth cleaned. Forget about the mundane dinner and movie. Kristine Kern, self-described as "one of the dating masses" talks to Dave Singleton, author of Behind Every Great Woman There’s a Fabulous Gay Man: Advice from a Guy Who Gives It to You Straight and The Mandates: 25 Real Rules for Successful Gay Dating. Together they came up with a few refreshing first date ideas that can help you get a better idea of your prospective partner. Also included: bad first date ideas.