From the psychology of snap judgments to the hormones behind trust; this year‚Äôs discoveries took researchers deeper and deeper into the facts behind our feelings. Tango presents a roundup of the choicest nuggets uncovered this year‚Äîand a peek at the territory ahead.
How to flirt the right way, whether you're using classic pick-up lines or simple body language, from the author of Read My Hips: The Sexy Art Of Flirtation by Eve Marx. "What tips would you give to someone who is just starting to flirt, or wants to become a better flirt? She has to determine what her flirt style is going to be. It should initially gel with her own personality: Is she shy? Is she a comedian? Is she an interrogator type? There's also a flirt I call the refusal flirt—a lot of guys are very curious about the girl that won't flirt. If you're a flirt expert, then you're versatile in many styles. But if you've only got one good thing, then stick with that. Is there a key move that works across styles? Put your hand on his arm. Touch a guy. If you are making a connection, electricity happens. You also find out really fast if he's interested in you. You shouldn't be flirting up the wrong tree; it's a waste of your energy.
"The List: 7 Ways to Tell if He’s Going to Marry You—in 30 Days or Less!" It sound like a dream come true. Is it possible to date without playing games? The book claims it's easy to read a man's intentions and see if he's that into you or not.
Tango talks with singer Keren Ann, who splits her time between two cities she loves: New York and Paris. While love inspired her new album, Nolita, that doesn't mean it's full of love songs. "What do you think about when you write music? Usually, it's all about love. It comes from the person you love. But then it travels, and it goes to other stories. Old stories. It starts with love or longing, whether it's a place, or a person, or a detachment, or being overwhelmed. But then it can evolve into something else. Everything memory-related kills me. I'm obsessed. Like Lola in Barry Manilow's 'Copacabana.' Lola lost her love because she lost her youth. Ultimately, so many songs come back to love. So is Nolita an album of love songs? No. But even if they're not explicitly about love, they exist because of love. Too much love, not enough love, the overwhelming nature of love."
How do you preserve the mystery when you share a medicine cabinet? What can you share and what's best kept private? Here is some advice on how to navigate your personal hygiene routines and the intimate shared space of the bathroom.
Moving in together is a big step. It leads to consolidating; reorganization; and new realizations. Every now and again getting rid of your old stuff is harder than you think and for reasons you may not want to think about. Kelly Bare explains that talking about these relics may lead to a new appreciation of your partner and new insight to your relationship.
It turns out that planning a wedding isn't that easy. The stress of minor issues such as where to have a wedding can be overwhelming. Now throw in the guest list, a wedding budget, and the inlaws and even the sweetest woman can turn into a bridezilla... months and months before the actual wedding. Kelly Bare explores the idea of that it's not 100% 'your day' after all and that a New York wedding probably isn't worth the hassle.
Nagging won't help; but a partner's unhealthy habit hurts more than his or her life expectancy. Taking on too much responsibility for a partner's bad habit is a classic sign of codependency‚ and an unhealthy dynamic in which one person becomes too wrapped up in the other. As she learns to cope with her husband's smoking; Meagan Francis also explores where his problem ends and hers begins. What does she find? "While it's OK to worry about a partner when they're doing unhealthy things, detaching from their habits—while keeping the lines of communication open—is key. Of course, there are some non-negotiables. Illegal drug use, heavy drinking, addictive gambling, and anything severely self-destructive may warrant a "quit or else" attitude. But for those not dealing with extreme cases, ultimatums aren't the answer, and neither is an expectation that your partner will comply with your wishes. Instead, use your mutual respect to reach a compromise."
As a successful black woman in corporate America I had a very hard time finding black men who understood and weren't intimidated by my busy lifestyle, weren't already dating or married to white women and who weren't gay. When I left the corporate world, and moved to black-man-friendly Brooklyn, I had a much easier time finding black men, unfortunately far too many of them were players. I'll admit though, I'd often choose a "bad boy" over a good prospective partner and have a bad experience, which then created a bad perception. That said, it seemed the odds were often stacked against me: 9 out of 10 times, the good-looking, smart, articulate, cultured black men I met were in multiple relationships, or either had a girlfriend or were married and "forgot" to tell me. In fact, had it not been for the tattoo of his wife's name on his arm, I might not have known that the last man I was out on a date with was married.