Poll: How Much Do You Think About Your Ex?
The news that Courteney Cox and David Arquette were separating after 11 years of marriage sent ripples of distress throughout America's tabloid-reading community and beyond. "Really?" thought many, surprised by their own personal sadness over public figures' private lives. For whatever reason, the dissolution of this marriage hit home for many Americans. Perhaps it's because—despite the celebrity characters—the story is infinitely relatable.
As documented in our piece, "The Rise Of The Sugar Mama," the age of the female gold digger is over. These days it's men who are dating women for their money. So how do you know if a man is after you or your wallet? The YourTango Experts sound in.
A woman and her vibrator: a love story. After experiencing mind-blowing orgasms with her new sex toy and realizing that she could have more fun alone, our writer wonders if her vibrator affections have turned into vibrator addiction.
On the surface, he was always smiling, well-dressed and charming to strangers and friends alike. Underneath, however, his life revolved around sex—affairs with real, live women, voyeurism and exhibitionism, and paid services that ran the gamut. Extensive business travel allowed him to pursue undetected what I later came to recognize was an unquenchable sex addiction.
Forgiving your spouse for a past hurt isn't always easy. But holding on to a grudge can corrode and eventually destroy your marriage. How can you learn to forgive? Writer Elizabeth Harper searches for her own answer.
In relationships, we often blend our identities with our partner's, and after a breakup, we feel lost. "Across three different studies we found that when a relationship ends, people think their self has changed. They change their hair, their friends, and their goals for the future," says study author Erica B. Slotter, M.A. While a drop-dead gorgeous new 'do can make you feel better, all this change can be rattling. "Being less sure of who people are contributes to the emotional stress that happens when a breakup occurs," says Slotter. So, how can you start reclaiming your self after a split? Read on.
"I would never pressure someone into marriage," I said, with the wisdom of all my 26 years. "Not to bash your ex-girlfriend, but how could she want to marry you if you weren't thrilled at the prospect of spending the rest of your life with her?" Over the next four years, I found out. I became her: the embodiment of everything I pitied.
If you've been watching MTV's Jersey Shore, maybe you can understand how a reasonably intelligent Italian-American woman from New Jersey, who lives within miles of the shooting location, might want to pretend to be someone else for a while. The fear of being lumped with characters like Snooki, whose "ultimate goal is to move to Jersey and find a nice juiced, hot, tan guy," is a great motivator for change.
A long-divorced friend was at a dinner party recently and raised her glass to a woman who'd been separated for a month. "Is it okay to do that?" the separated woman asked. "To toast to the end of my marriage?" My friend assured her it was. Many of us, given enough recovery time, eventually toast our divorces. And we do it with gusto. Beth Jones celebrates her new life after divorce; here's why she's glad her husband left.
Last December, I made the eight thousand mile trip to the subcontinent to meet his family, hopeful as ever to impress my in-laws-to-be, only to be told that our Vedic horoscopes were not a good match for marriage. In other words: astrology ended my relationship.
For every email or comment I get thanking me for writing my book, How To Get Divorced By 30, or for expressing in articles and blogs how a first marriage can be a positive rite of passage, I get an angry email or comment asking, "How dare I destroy the sanctity of marriage!"
In the past, fear would reach into my throat and press pause on The Breakup Conversation. I would be able to spy potential I’d never before seen in the man across from me. I’d be able to imagine what the two of us might be, if only we weren’t, well, us. I’d convince myself to put off this horrible and awkward talk because what if he was more than The One to go bowling with or The One to enjoy martinis with and was actually The One to burp in front of for the rest of my life without shame, and I just hadn’t found the right way to look at him.
Should you get revenge on an ex? If you've ever had a cold-hearted lout stomp all over your heart, you may be saying yes. Revenge makes you feel better, and if it's not illegal or violent, why not give yourself the satisfaction of seeing your ex suffer? On the other hand, maybe getting revenge will actually make you feel worse. It's not going to win you any points in the integrity game, and that momentary gratification might give way to regret. Here, Ted McPherson (anti-revenge) and Judy McGuire (pro-revenge) debate: is getting revenge a good idea? Read what they have to say, and let us know what you think in the comments.
Just last week, we shared with you the 10 Signs You're Not Over Your Ex. And while we sympathize with those of you who were still pining (we cyberstalk our exes sometimes, too) we're hoping the post was the catalyst you needed to finally move past that toxic purgatory of single-but-still-hanging-on. And since one week is totally long enough to get over someone once and for all, we thought we'd check in on your progress. For your reference, here are 10 signs you're over your ex.