sex addict
What if you discovered that your husband had been leading a double life the whole time?

My Husband Was A Secret Sex Addict

On the surface, he was always smiling, well-dressed and charming to strangers and friends alike. Underneath, however, his life revolved around sex—affairs with real, live women, voyeurism and exhibitionism, and paid services that ran the gamut. Extensive business travel allowed him to pursue undetected what I later came to recognize was an unquenchable sex addiction.

woman sitting in a pool

9 Ways To Rebuild Your Identity After A Breakup

In relationships, we often blend our identities with our partner's, and after a breakup, we feel lost. "Across three different studies we found that when a relationship ends, people think their self has changed. They change their hair, their friends, and their goals for the future," says study author Erica B. Slotter, M.A. While a drop-dead gorgeous new 'do can make you feel better, all this change can be rattling. "Being less sure of who people are contributes to the emotional stress that happens when a breakup occurs," says Slotter. So, how can you start reclaiming your self after a split? Read on.

happy couple on a boat on water

I Was Engaged To A Man With Commitment Phobia

"I would never pressure someone into marriage," I said, with the wisdom of all my 26 years. "Not to bash your ex-girlfriend, but how could she want to marry you if you weren't thrilled at the prospect of spending the rest of your life with her?" Over the next four years, I found out. I became her: the embodiment of everything I pitied.

snooki jersey shore

Embracing My (Real) Jersey Shore Love Life

If you've been watching MTV's Jersey Shore, maybe you can understand how a reasonably intelligent Italian-American woman from New Jersey, who lives within miles of the shooting location, might want to pretend to be someone else for a while. The fear of being lumped with characters like Snooki, whose "ultimate goal is to move to Jersey and find a nice juiced, hot, tan guy," is a great motivator for change.

toast friends sky glasses celebrate

Why I Celebrate My Divorce

A long-divorced friend was at a dinner party recently and raised her glass to a woman who'd been separated for a month. "Is it okay to do that?" the separated woman asked. "To toast to the end of my marriage?" My friend assured her it was. Many of us, given enough recovery time, eventually toast our divorces. And we do it with gusto. Beth Jones celebrates her new life after divorce; here's why she's glad her husband left.

holding hands indian sari

Zodiac Hijack: Astrology Ended My Relationship

Last December, I made the eight thousand mile trip to the subcontinent to meet his family, hopeful as ever to impress my in-laws-to-be, only to be told that our Vedic horoscopes were not a good match for marriage. In other words: astrology ended my relationship.

just married car with cans

In Defense Of Starter Marriage

For every email or comment I get thanking me for writing my book, How To Get Divorced By 30, or for expressing in articles and blogs how a first marriage can be a positive rite of passage, I get an angry email or comment asking, "How dare I destroy the sanctity of marriage!"

woman wearing red shoes standing on yellow road lines

How To See A Breakup As A Beginning

In the past, fear would reach into my throat and press pause on The Breakup Conversation. I would be able to spy potential I’d never before seen in the man across from me. I’d be able to imagine what the two of us might be, if only we weren’t, well, us. I’d convince myself to put off this horrible and awkward talk because what if he was more than The One to go bowling with or The One to enjoy martinis with and was actually The One to burp in front of for the rest of my life without shame, and I just hadn’t found the right way to look at him.

yellow high heel shoe stepping on man

He Said, She Said: Getting Revenge On An Ex

Should you get revenge on an ex? If you've ever had a cold-hearted lout stomp all over your heart, you may be saying yes. Revenge makes you feel better, and if it's not illegal or violent, why not give yourself the satisfaction of seeing your ex suffer? On the other hand, maybe getting revenge will actually make you feel worse. It's not going to win you any points in the integrity game, and that momentary gratification might give way to regret. Here, Ted McPherson (anti-revenge) and Judy McGuire (pro-revenge) debate: is getting revenge a good idea? Read what they have to say, and let us know what you think in the comments.

happy woman with arms in the air

10 Signs You're Over Your Ex

Just last week, we shared with you the 10 Signs You're Not Over Your Ex. And while we sympathize with those of you who were still pining (we cyberstalk our exes sometimes, too) we're hoping the post was the catalyst you needed to finally move past that toxic purgatory of single-but-still-hanging-on. And since one week is totally long enough to get over someone once and for all, we thought we'd check in on your progress. For your reference, here are 10 signs you're over your ex.

signs you are not over your ex

10 Signs You're Not Over Your Ex

It can be difficult to tell if you're over an ex. After sharing a significant chunk of your life with someone, it makes sense that they'd remain perpetually in your thoughts, at least in some capacity. So how do you know if you've really put your past to rest, or if you're still mired in your last relationship? Here, ten signs that you're not over him.

meditation true love

How Meditation Led Me To True Love

The way Francesco broke up with me was as simple as it was shocking. It was a Saturday afternoon in July and we'd just seen a movie at The Museum of Modern Art in New York City. Riding the subway back downtown, we sat side by side, him in an inexplicable and smoldering silence. Then he got up and walked out of the train. I never saw him again.Francesco's behavior made no sense, and, a month later, I was still struggling to accept it. On a friend’s suggestion, I went to a yoga center to check out a Tantric meditation class. As I discovered, this yogic approach was different.

heartbreak-related depression

Heartbreak-Related Depression: Does It Exist?

In December 2009, Billy Joel and Christie Brinkley's 24-year-old daughter Alexa Ray Joel was rushed to the hospital after swallowing a handful of homeopathic pain pills. But just as curious as Joel's behavior was the explanation she gave for it: a bad case of "Heartbreak-Related Depression." "Heartbreak-Related Depression" does not currently exist as a clinically diagnosable form of depression. So what was Joel suffering from? Heartbreak, depression or a hybrid of the two?