Should our sexual fantasies be morally and politically correct? Excerpted from Best Sex Writing 2009, erotica writer Kristina Lloyd explores her taste for pleasure with a side of discomfort and the judgment that writing graphic sex scenes draws. An intriguing reflection on fantasies and how they define us.
Female sexuality isn't well understood, even by scientists: examining the biology of arousal. Meredith Chivers uses evolutionary biology to explain why women's bodies and minds are turned on by different things. Lisa Diamond believes that women's sexuality is much more flexible than is generally understood, and that women are more turned on by emotional intimacy. Marta Meana works on the theory that female lust hinges on narcissism—that is, being desired. Are any of them right? No one knows.
Anal sex advice you need: 7 ways to say no to doing it up the butt. Even if you love anal, sometimes you just don't want to have it. "Now I don’t want to seem uptight, I know it’s perfectly safe and, in some cases, really effective. But personally, I’ve already been schooled in anal and although I flunked the final exam, I refuse to retake the class again, if you know what I mean. So, here’s how I’ve gotten out of doing that kind of homework over the years with my 7 Excuses To Get Out Of Anal Sex."
In our steamiest revelations, most fearless sexual reporting and best sexpert advice of 2008 we investigate the female happy ending massage, the myth of the male orgasm, sex parties, public sex, masturbation and more.
2006 was a year of unprotected sex for me. No, not every time, but I started off the year with a fling with a slightly older man I was besotted with, who didn’t speak a word about condoms, and, in response, I didn’t either. I wanted to trust that he had some magical knowledge that somehow I was missing, that maybe the world had overturned itself and they were no longer necessary. I was wrong, and after a pregnancy panic as I searched for Plan B—this was right before it was so readily available—I escaped unscathed. Then later that year I met a guy I fell absolutely head over heels with, sure that we were destined to be together.
I thought I was saving myself for the man I loved, but I finally realized that his role in my life was just another of my unhealthy addictions. A former adult entertainer's sexy stories of love, sex and abstinence.
"I see an exciting adventure in your future, a new sexual experience that forever changes you," she said, tracing the sole of my foot with one soft fingertip. Her husband grinned at me from the bed. I sat half-naked in the overstuffed armchair and trembled with nerves. This is not how I'd imagined my first — or any — threesome. I'm not bisexual, and I can count the number of times I've been physically attracted to a woman on one hand, with two fingers left over. Yet here I was in a cute little southern California inn with a couple who have been married for 25 years, playing an adults-only computer game that would have us girls riding double before dinnertime.
Maybe you're loud and proud about the virtues of self-love. Maybe you haven't given masturbation a try. But masturbating is transforming in the public conscious; what used to be a vice now has many virtues and expert Jayme Waxman spells them out—from better sleep to stronger partner-orgasms—and gives you tips and techniques to make sex with your favorite person even better. And masturbation isn't just for singles; knowing how to get yourself off makes it easier to tell your partner what you like (and mutual masturbation may be another item to add to your relationship repertoire).
Anal sex sounds dirty, impersonal, and painful, so why do we do it? Because it's perfectly clean, remarkably intimate, and can feel unlike anything else.
An ABC News poll reports that 80% of both men and women say they have "the right amount" of foreplay in their sex lives. But if that's true, why does Cosmo field questions about how to get a man to slow down on the race to intercourse, while Men's Health readers are asking 'How can I make my wife more interested in quickies?' But whether the quantity—and quality—of foreplay in your relationship is too high, too low or just right, we've got a few foreplay tips to help you get all the not-quite-sex you've been hoping for.
Lots of attention is paid to male sexual function, and lots of money is paid to pharmaceutical companies to fix it: a multi-billion dollar industry was created to make sure men of any age can get it up and get it on. Without a visible dysfunction, many women suffer through low libido problems and uncomfortable sex assuming nothing can be done. But there's no need to suffer. A number of things—from your diet to your birth control pills—could be dampening your sex drive, and the good news is, it may be easily fixed.
Multiple orgasms have become the holy grail of female sexuality. Women want them, men want to give them, and we're all looking for the secrets that makes them possible. But just like playing the piano, some people may be born with natural ability, but it's a skill anyone can learn.
You're drunk. Or lonely. Or just plain bored. And you've already got this guy programmed into your phone. So should you try to turn your best buddy into your bed buddy? We asked guys: "What do you think of friends with benefits?"
Vibrators: They hold a special place in our hearts and in our night stands. But is your man intimidated by your battery-powered best friend or eager to bring it in for a threesome? We asked men: “What do you think about vibrators?”
Miss Manners didn't write a manual for one night stands, but that doesn't mean there are no rules. Though thousands of pages have been written what to do at dances and dinner parties, on how to treat your date and your mate, precious little has been written about what to do with that guy you hooked up with after your cousin's wedding... the one you don't really want to see again. But manners haven't changed much from kindergarten days (except maybe for the one about biting), and you can navigate this situation—like many—by employing the basics: Don't leave your things lying around. Be honest. And say 'Thank you.'