When you're first dating, you don't know when or even if you're going to make love. The anticipation is exciting, and you often spend quality time kissing and building up to that moment when you finally "do it."
What's going on? Is lustful passion so objectifying that it negates tenderness? Is it so difficult for us to accept all that we are? Why can't we be mothers and fathers, needy children, able businesspeople, and also vixens and studs when the time is right?
An obsessive-compulsive perfectionist shares a humorous account of virginity loss, and the lessons she learned from her first sexual experience.
I met Philip while out recruiting contestants for Blind Date. Once he told me he went to Vassar, I knew he'd never do the show. Instead, I kept him for myself. I looked extra cute and Philip seemed really into me. It was perfect. Well, almost. That morning, I had accidentally eaten some bad pineapple. Having never dealt with bad fruit toots, I didn't know what to expect from my Hawaiian friend. Looking at me you'd have never guessed the turmoil I was experiencing, but internally it was a dating disaster in the making.
Just a few short years ago, I was your basic art school student, following all the latest trends in indie rock, guzzling PBR, shooting movies, but... not having sex. No, I wasn't a late bloomer and I didn't have trouble relating to women my own age. I was celibate.
Sexual role-playing doesn't have to be about kinky sex and it doesn't mean that you are bored with your lover. Acting out fantasies can and should be about core relationship issues like communication, intimacy and acceptance, and can both signal and create strength in a relationship.
With each man who enters my life, I think I'm making a better choice than the last. Yet even though I'm in my 40s, I keep making the same mistakes again and again. When my current relationship started (temporarily) to nosedive, I began wondering if I'd learned anything from my relationships with men. I decided to take inventory. Starting at 17 and continuing until the age of…don't mention it, here's what I've learned.
Your partner seduces you into the bedroom. You take off your clothes, climb into bed and...start thinking about the laundry, the fight with your boss or your belly pooch. If this happens to you when you hit the sack, you're not alone. Many women's minds turn to everything but pleasure during sex. Why do we do this? And how can we stop it?
In the second half of my fourth decade, I became a single mom. For a year it was more than enough and I threw myself into a world of sippy cups and story-times. But one spring day, as the cherry trees blossomed, a longing bloomed in me—I wanted something else, someone else. So I dusted off the Goldfish crumbs and decided to date. But how long could I—a seven-day-a-week, twenty-four-hour-a-day mother—keep the man I was dating out of my "real" life, the one that involved being responsible for a three-foot-high person?
The 00's were rife with sexploration. From the sex tape mania kicked off by Paris Hilton, to going without panties (also Paris), to a surge in three-ways (probably Paris) the 00's held something for everyone, sexually speaking. Sex came a long way from 2000 to today. Here's a look back at the decade's sexiest trends.
Today is World AIDS Day, and YourTango feels that it's imperative to acknowledge this and to spread awareness about the immunodeficiency virus. It affects everyone's love life. Stay informed and stay protected.
"The idea that a contemporary women's sex drive disappears in middle or advanced age is as obsolete as the notion that women go batty in menopause. But many of us are ignorant about what changes to expect in our sexual responses during this passage, and the unforeseen consequences can drive us a little crazy!" Gail Sheehy explores what happens to intimacy as you age.
A formerly overweight newlywed discovers that feeling sexy on her honeymoon is not about being thin. "I was running four miles a day, panting through countless crunches, and bleeding sweat on the Stairmaster at the gym, and for what? Well, like every other woman in America, I wanted to feel sexy. But more than that, I wanted to look sexy for my soon-to-be husband. I was two months from getting married. My hunt for sultry lingerie and swimsuits for our Cancun honeymoon had sent me into hysterics."
It is a truth universally acknowledged that "sex with an ex" falls somewhere between "crush on a co-worker" and "affair with a married man" on the great Don't Go There continuum. You're playing with fire, psychologists admonish would-be repeat offenders in their advice columns and call-in shows. It will only bring back a flood of emotions. Find someone new and keep that door shut, girlfriend. With all due respect, I think the advice columnists are wrong: breakup sex is way underrated.
Being an oral goddess may not be your top priority, but it's a pretty handy (or, er, mouthy) skill to have. After all, who doesn't want to be the kind of gal whose mere memory can bring a wistful smile to any ex's face? And if that doesn't convince you to upgrade your oral game, consider the benefits of potential reciprocity. Research sexologist, sex journalist, Lemondrop contributor and The Sex Bible author Susan Crain Bakos tells us how.