Religion has never played a large part in my life. I grew up celebrating "Christian" holidays like Easter and Christmas, but in America, these days are so mainstreamed and commercialized, they almost seem secular. I've never minded not having a religion, and I like the fact that because I'm a blank religious slate, I can approach new religions without prior assumption. I've learned Hindu traditions while in India, marveled at the Muslim mosques while in Indonesia, caroled in a Carmelite monastery, and recently visited a Zen Buddhist center for meditation.
When you have a lot invested in a partnership it's sometimes easier to blame the person who's smashing your rose-tinted glasses than the one who's breaking your heart.
Buzzfeed posted a great list from Tiny Cartridge of "Boyfriend Criteria," including the usual "smart," "cute," "funny," and the more unusual like "did not pick Charmander as first Pokémon." There's also a list of pluses ("glasses," "good shoes," "good tattoo") and minuses ("annoying," "too tight pants," "think you're sooo smart"). Since I'm getting married in three days (!!!), the list got me thinking about my "husband criteria" and how well my fiancé fits my list. After the jump, see how he does.
Thinking vs feeling. What's your approach to relationships? "As the couple was about to enter the party, Mary stopped, turned to her fiancé and asked, "Do you think what I’m wearing is okay?" Dave gave her an appraising look and said, "You look great. But you probably could have worn different shoes." (Insert collective gasp here.) Mary took a moment to recover from her disbelief and then said, "Are you having a 'T' moment?" Dave thought about it then nodded his head and said, "Yes, I'm sorry. You look wonderful." So, what’s a "T" moment? What are these magic words that can stop a bad conversation dead in its tracks?"
Are you a bad feminist if you ask someone—say, someone like me—why she stayed with the guy who beat the crap out of her, nearly murdered her, and raped her on a regular basis?
How I became a divorced virgin: "I was twenty-nine, single again after a five-year marriage, and a virgin. When I met my now ex-husband Mike, I had just turned 21. We met at small Catholic liberal arts college, and even though I no longer believed in Jesus, the Saints, the Bible, God, really any of that. I was a virgin then, and I was a virgin when we divorced."
Well, we all have one: One friend who we think is in a terrible relationship. Her husband or boyfriend is a complete jerk and treats her terribly. He makes jokes at her expense, calls her names—he even argues with her in front of friends. It's hard for you to understand what it is she sees in him, but it's even harder for you to witness it without wanting to say something to her. What's worse is that you do love your friend, but you feel like you have to avoid social situations—being around the two of them is uncomfortable for everyone (not to mention, you and your husband have your own issues—why do you want witness them arguing?!)
More often than not clients wanting to improve their relationship skills at some point had to realize the importance of personal and interpersonal forgiveness to their well-being and overall happiness. The truth is that all of us have transgressed or acted in a way that brought about a negative impact on our self or someone else. So from this perspective, none of us is without the need for forgiveness, and each of us will encounter the opportunity to grant forgiveness. With that in mind, here are some important benefits associated with practicing forgiveness.
He’s twice been named the Sexiest Man Alive. He makes more money in memorizing ten lines than my husband makes all year. In another century, his ravishing good looks and muscular physique were undoubtedly the criteria that all Greek Gods set for themselves. Still he remains the boy next door that every woman in the world would love to call her very own. I’m talking about George Clooney—the Buttery Hotness himself. Nevertheless, I turned him down, even though he never asked. I turned him down, straight as an arrow. Here's why.
Jennifer (name changed) didn't have sex with her ex-husband on their wedding night. "I chalked it up to fatigue," she says. But should it have been a red flag? Well, maybe. It's not that it didn't happen that one night that was the problem; it's that it was the first of many sexless married nights. As an engaged couple, Jennifer and her guy were doing it about three times a week, but once they said their vows, it quickly dwindled to about once a month—sometimes less. YourTango reveals the truth about sexless marriage.
Let's face it, the stories of infidelity in military marriages run rampant. And shows like Army Wives and movies like Jarhead help perpetuate the idea that military marriages are constantly plagued by infidelity. Meanwhile, the divorce rate among military couples is twice as high as in the general population. Don't let this happen to you. Here are five great tips for keeping your military marriage strong despite deployment, separation and frequent relocation
As we know, affairs are truly a symptom of an unhealthy and unfulfilled marriage. One way to help inoculate your marriage against affairs is to keep your sex life and physical intimacy a priority. For some couples, sex is not even on the list after having kids. Dr. Michelle Golland: I was not surprised by the 2006 Newsweek article that reported that 15-20% of us are in "sexless" marriages. The article defined this as couples having sex less than once a month, or on average, 10 times a year.
We each attract a certain type of man, depending on how we carry ourselves. Don't expect to have a respectful man if you, for instance, curse like a sailor. Such behavior always reflects more negatively upon you than it does to those you're cursing. As for other important aspects of your life, if you don't have any goals, principles, power, or worth, then what makes you believe you can attract a man who has any of those qualities? You are what you attract, whether you like it or not. Contrary to what you may believe, we are not designed to follow the lead of men. They are made to follow us, at least when it comes to male and female relations.
Dr. Michelle Golland responds to "Why I Love My Kid More Than My Husband" Okay, first I must say I love my kids very much, but I do not love them more than my husband! The love I have for my husband is deeper and more exciting than the love I have for my kids. He is my lover, my confidant, and my biggest fan. I am the same for him. It is so clear to me as a wife, mother, and psychologist that if I do not have a strong, healthy, and connected marriage, my mothering abilities are not on track.
I just celebrated my first birthday as a married woman. But instead of enjoying a romantic dinner with my husband, I was at sea with a long-lost crush who re-entered my life last year. My husband knows about him, and gave me his blessing to go with him on the three-day cruise to the Bahamas. He actually met the guy once, at a club on Canal Street six years ago. He's been supportive of this reunion, even when I came home giddy from a night out with him, or when I flew to Portland, Maine, in March for a spring rendezvous. My husband says he understands that this man was in my life long before the two of us met. He knows we have history. But more than anything, he didn't mind me sailing off into the sunset with the guy because we weren't alone. Far from it. Joe brought four of his buddies along on the cruise. And a bunch of other women. Two thousand of them, all just like me. The other man is Joe McIntyre, one of the New Kids on the Block. Yes, that pop group from the '80s. The boy band that begat Backstreet, 'N Sync, and the Jonas Brothers. But this is not a story about being a groupie. I am not a slut, a sad sack, or a stalker. And yet, the most obvious word for what I am—"fan"—doesn't seem to cut it. Fan doesn't encompass the way these five men have influenced my career, my ideas of love, and even my move to the United States.