A woman confronts memories of being raped as a teen. "I just found out that my rapist is dead. Not only is he dead, but he ended up killing a lot of women. I always wondered if he would rape again, but I never thought he would graduate to murder."
In 2003, after nearly 14 years of marriage, Julie Metz learned that her husband Henry had been cheating on her with multiple women. Shattering to any wife, news of his infidelity hit Metz particularly hard—Henry had passed away six months prior. The revelation of his rampant adultery—including a three-year affair with a close family friend—dealt Metz a second, equally wounding blow. In her memoir, "Perfection: A Memoir of Betrayal and Renewal," Metz recounts the aftermath of this revelation and chronicles her path to self-renewal and rediscovery of both love and trust.
Back in the '90s, people generally discovered their partner's infidelity when they opened a bill for their cell phone, it was all there is black and white. Today, with social media like Facebook and Twitter the line of infidelity is a little more gray, and a little harder to spot. Licensed psychotherapist Elisabeth Joy LaMotte teaches us how to bring a lover back from the brink, turn off the laptops and turn up our love lives.
Why is it that some accents attract us, while others grate like nails on a chalkboard? Our inclinations toward certain accents are psychological and cultural, rather than physiological, says Susan Tamasi, a sociolinguist at Emory University. A romp with someone with an accent feels like taking a walk on the wild side—a mini-vacation without having to leave our bedroom. It's not the boy next door—his accent tells you that much.
As part of his book, The Guinea Pig Diaries, author A.J. Jacobs did everything his wife told him to. "She will be boss. I will be her devoted servant. It will be a month of foot massages and talking about feelings and scrubbing dishes and watching Kate Hudson movies (well, if Julie actually liked Kate Hudson movies). It could be revelatory. It'll let me explore the tricky power dynamics of the modern American marriage. It'll allow me to study the Mars/Venus, Everybody Loves Raymond clichés about gender battles and figure out which are true and which are hogwash."
Most of us think we know the telltale signs of a liar—shifty eyes, sweating, a long, winding story that seems highly improbable. In reality, however, there is not one behavior all liars exhibit and some behaviors we associate with lying could mean something else entirely. Because of this, few people are very good at spotting liars. But deciphering a liar from a truth-teller is not completely hopeless; it just isn't as easy as is seems.
After Governor Mark Sanford abandoned his state and his family to be with his mistress in Argentina, people applauded his long-suffering wife Jenny for kicking his lying butt to the curb. Yet even as she denounced his affair, she gave him a big gift … she called his cheating "an addiction." These days, people love characterizing everything as an addiction, from the frivolous to the frightening. In pop culture parlance, you can be a rage-aholic, a shop-aholic, and a choc-aholic. Addictions are serious things, but is cheating seriously an addiction?
After two and half years together and a few short domestic trips, my now-husband and I put our relationship to the test with a two-week jaunt through China. Sure, hiking the Great Wall, braving squatter toilets, and eating breakfast with chopsticks were all an adventure, but the real challenge of vacationing together was spending every minute together for 15 days straight. If you think your relationship is up to the test, do yourself (and him) a favor by following my hard-learned tips…
She was 17, he was 42 but the age difference didn't matter. One woman's story about marrying a much older man, and her advice for people in May-December relationships.
I was with him when he took his last breath. I felt as though it was mine. One second he was there and the next he was gone. We had said all there was to say between two people in love. Sharing the good times and the sad times, we relived our entire married life within a few days. Then he was gone.
One of the most common questions we hear is, "How do we make our relationship work?" The answers are complicated, varied, and, after a while, can start to sound like muddled platitudes. But these commonplace sayings get repeated because they work. With this in mind, we pulled together 12 cliches that, in fact, reveal simple, tried-and-true advice for having a healthy, happy relationship.
What do you say to your significant other when they lose (or know they could lose) a close friend or relative? And how do you help them regain their footing after the loss? Everyone experiences grief differently, but here are a few things to remember.
I am a woman. I have all the biological requirements to have a child. Yet, I do not have the instincts or rational desire to do so. Does that make me less of a woman to not want to have a child either by using my body, my eggs, or my money to adopt?
I knew my mother was pretty far along on the narcissism spectrum, but I wasn't sure that I'd been all that damaged as a result. Until, that is, I reached page 118 of "Will I Ever Be Good Enough? Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers" by Karyl McBride, Ph.D. There it was, all laid out in front of me: the exact retelling of how my last relationship devolved and fell apart. According to McBride, when times get tough, the daughter of a narcissistic mother may get codependent and "end up stifling [her boyfriend or husband] with her overwhelming demands, jealousy, and insecurities. She will want him to be with her at all times and expect him to meet all her needs, particularly her emotional needs…[When he can't] she will feel the same disappointment and emptiness she did as a child and blame her spouse." As I continued to read, humbled, I thought: the good news is that I can get better; the bad news is that I'm not the only one who comes from a narcissistic parent and heads ill-equipped into love and dating.
Parents love me. They've always loved me. On paper, I make a good impression. But peel back a few layers and that's where good dirt about me and my family is hiding: my struggles with depression.