Gail Sheehy discusses her relationship with Clay Felker, the renowned first editor of New York magazine. "This year we will celebrate our 20th wedding anniversary, a milestone that amazes friends who had to play Rolodex tag with each of us during the 17 years of our turbulent premarital relationship. We were in diametrically opposing stages of life: Clay led a glamorous existence as the editor of New York magazine and the Village Voice, and had to be on the town night after night courting his first love—New York. I was a struggling freelance writer and divorced single mom who wanted to read bedtime stories to my young daughter. I would move into his imposing apartment, try it for a year, move out. I remember feeling as tiny as an envelope slipped under his door marked 'addressee unknown.'"
The love of her life won’t be the father of her children. Susan King helps one woman make an impossible choice between her desire for her man and for children.
For the best advice on sex, love, dating and relationships we ask two experts with personal experience. Cathi Hanauer is the author, most recently, of Sweet Ruin, a novel about love, marriage, and adultery. Daniel Jones is the editor of both the "Modern Love" column for The New York Times, and Modern Love, an anthology derived from the column. They've been married for 15 years, and together they provide a his and hers take on relationship questions. This round: fatherhood responsibilities. Question: As I lie here at 3:42 a.m. thinking about my breastfeeding wife down the hall losing sleep, I wonder: Do I have any real responsibility to help my crying baby at night when human physiology has not yet provided me with the ability to breastfeed? – R.M., Reno, Nev.
Having a dog is a great way to meet a man. You look approachable and people have a reason to talk to you. But of all deal breakers that exist, pets are one of the toughest. What happens when man meets dog? One author discovers. "I didn't have a dog when I decided to move to New York. But my friends with dogs had long regaled me with tales of companionship, undying devotion, and puppy kisses. I also knew that if you have one, you have to leave your house several times a day, no matter what the weather's like or how you're feeling. What better way to ease myself into a new life in a new city? But as it turns out, introducing your new man to your (old) dog tells you a lot about the man. The other day over lunch I asked a friend if she slept with her dog. 'Of course,' she replied. But what about her new husband? How did he take to sharing the bed? ' don't think I'd ever date a guy who didn't like my dog,' she said firmly."
For many couples; the elusive simultaneous orgasm is the WMD of the bedroom: The effects can be explosive; but hunting for it is frequently an exercise in frustration. With a few simple biological facts in mind and a more relaxed attitude it is a lot easier to reach. Ky Henderson explains.
Every month for twelve days after her period, Orthodox Jews can't touch each other. No sex, no back rubs—they can't even pass each other the salt at the dinner table. Before a husband and wife can reconnect the woman goes to the mikvah, the ritual bath that makes her clean, or kosher, again. Are these rules frustrating? Yes. And sexy as hell. In one woman's words, "As I listened to one woman after another bemoan her sad sex life, I thought about how, after five years of marriage, Avy and I are hotter than ever. Suddenly, I felt very religious." In this essay Lynne Meredith Schreiber describes the passion of a strict Jewish marriage.
She just can’t resist going through her boyfriend’s personal belongings, but sometimes snooping leads to more harm than good. By spying through his writing she finds his secrets and an invasion of her privacy. It turns out word, especially the Big Words, really hurt. Victoria Hirschfield finds this out the hard way when what she found was a dagger to her heart.
Why don’t men do their share of the grocery shopping, laundry and other domestic chores? Women can keep complaining about how men don’t do their share of the housework—or they can change the rules. Leslie Bennetts calls for revolution.
From the psychology of snap judgments to the hormones behind trust; this year‚Äôs discoveries took researchers deeper and deeper into the facts behind our feelings. Tango presents a roundup of the choicest nuggets uncovered this year‚Äîand a peek at the territory ahead.
How do you preserve the mystery when you share a medicine cabinet? What can you share and what's best kept private? Here is some advice on how to navigate your personal hygiene routines and the intimate shared space of the bathroom.
Moving in together is a big step. It leads to consolidating; reorganization; and new realizations. Every now and again getting rid of your old stuff is harder than you think and for reasons you may not want to think about. Kelly Bare explains that talking about these relics may lead to a new appreciation of your partner and new insight to your relationship.
Nagging won't help; but a partner's unhealthy habit hurts more than his or her life expectancy. Taking on too much responsibility for a partner's bad habit is a classic sign of codependency‚ and an unhealthy dynamic in which one person becomes too wrapped up in the other. As she learns to cope with her husband's smoking; Meagan Francis also explores where his problem ends and hers begins. What does she find? "While it's OK to worry about a partner when they're doing unhealthy things, detaching from their habits—while keeping the lines of communication open—is key. Of course, there are some non-negotiables. Illegal drug use, heavy drinking, addictive gambling, and anything severely self-destructive may warrant a "quit or else" attitude. But for those not dealing with extreme cases, ultimatums aren't the answer, and neither is an expectation that your partner will comply with your wishes. Instead, use your mutual respect to reach a compromise."