We had been married for eight years. We had been trying to get pregnant for six of those years and between IVF and ICSI had gone through five fertility cycles. We knew we could get pregnant but we didn't know if we could stay pregnant. We had spent over $200,000, and all we had to show for it was a glossy photo of four egg cells. That photo still sits in the drawer of the night table besides out bed, buried there. We're unable to look at it—or dispose of it. Other friends who were on the IVF merry-go-round and got pregnant, had their children. Some had their second child while we waited and tried again. Every couple who had a child swore by their doctor, their method, their technique—success was its own affirmation.
Amy had been referred to a Beverly Hills fertility doctor, who was so reassuring that I took him to calling him Dr. Mellow. His office had a wall of photos of smiling babies, as if to say, "This will be you." We sat in his waiting room holding hands. We believed. We didn't know we had just taken our seats inside the Hope Factory. Once inside, the possibility of getting pregnant never ended. If one technique failed, you tried another, and kept trying. There seemed to be an infinite supply of hope.
Without referring you to the many, many, medical sites, books and journals I immediately consulted on the subject, there is some belief that a certain vein that traverses one or both testicles can, in one way or another, affect the quality of sperm production. Operating on it may, or may not, improve sperm quality. In my case, a double varocelectomy was recommended.
Billy Joel and his wife of nearly five years Katie Lee are splitting up. A "friend" of the couple told the New York Daily News that the age difference of 33 years drove the couple apart. I doubt it. Maybe, like so many couples that end up divorced, they just weren't meant to be. You never hear anyone say "Dick and Jane are the same age— that must have had something to do with their breakup." I call BS on blaming the age difference when it comes to divorce. Though, admittedly, I'm biased.
The location of his party insinuated the need to have one last hurrah before we got married, and it offended me. Our marriage was supposed to be one long hurrah; something we looked forward to, not something from which we needed a reprieve. Sure it's idealistic, but if you can't afford some idealism the week before you get married, when can you? That was what it all boiled down to. The strip club wasn't the issue; it was the timing of the visit that bothered me.
After 12 years of living together, my wife and I knew well how to work together on things like double dates, shopping trips, and planning and executing killer vacations. Why should it have surprised me, then, that we quickly figured out how to work well together on work? In fact, we make a great team, and we can communicate quickly and clearly with complete trust, always knowing that we're both working towards the same goal. I'd assumed that more than a decade of living together would make us terrible co-workers. In fact, that decade of living together was training us for professional success together.
For two weeks in June 2008, heavy rains and widespread flooding pummeled the Midwest. The nation's worst natural disaster since Hurricane Katrina, the floodwaters decimated downtown Cedar Rapids, Iowa, causing an estimated five billion dollars in damage and displacing over 2,000 people. Flood survivors recount how they lost everything but kept their marriages together.
Becoming a father and stay-at-home dad puts a strain on a couple's marriage. "Even though we split many of the chores involved in caring for our son, my best energy, both physically and mentally, was going to our baby; my wife was getting the leftovers. She was understandably frustrated, but we both assumed it was just the natural process for a newborn. After a while, though, the position became untenable."
Weddings are inspirational: they rouse us to meditate on our own love stories, to feel our hearts swell as our friends find their life partners, and to wonder "When do we start drinking?" If thought bubbles could appear above the heads of wedding guests, here's what they might say.
Sore muscles, grueling training and abundant egos are the pitfalls of a professional athlete's career. For those married to fellow pro athletes, add long stints of time apart, living in different time zones and competing playing schedules to the list. The compromise and support these relationships require is something we can all appreciate, even if our own relationships seem ordinary next to the hectic lives of athletic superstars.
There are certain relationship mistakes women make over and over again. Like sleeping in a bad position and waking with a stiff neck, we sometimes don't realize we're blundering and repeating. Well, it's time to stop. We're declaring once and for all: let's quit! Quitters sometimes prosper, especially when lousy habits get left behind. Here's the list of relationship blunders we wish we ladies would stop making.
A military wife explains how she and her husband communicated during his three deployments. "We talked — sometimes twice a day — ignoring the popping and snapping on the line and the long delays between our voices on the Webcam
Small acts go a long way—that is the point of The Power Of Small: Why Little Things Make All the Difference by Linda Kaplan Thaler and Robin Kovol. The two ad execs are the authors of the best-selling tome, The Power Of Nice: How to Conquer the Business World With Kindness, but their new book is more than a guide to business-savvy. "These are the critical issues not only in business but in any relationship," explains Kovol. "If you think about how you met your husband or the thing that changed your relationship with your parents, it's never about some big grand gesture; it always comes down to some very small thing that happened." We spoke to Kaplan Thaler and Kovol from their offices in Manhattan about applying the power of small to dating and marriage.
Guys, we love you. You make our hearts swoon, you're the fathers of our children, you are advisors, companions and friends, but there are certain gender-specific things you do that drive women nuts. For example, leaving the toilet seat up? We know this is a clichéd male complaint, but seriously. It's rude. Your momma raised you wrong if you find it hard to flush and lower before leaving the bathroom.
Each week they will have a new illness. Some will be extremely rare, others will be more mundane. Doesn't matter. They will be certain they have it (no second opinions necessary.) Med school can, and will, turn even the sanest into a hypochondriac. Date them for long enough, and you'll become one too.