The holiday entertaining can be a hassle. Don't let hosting the party bring you down. An easy way to avoid getting overwhelmed is hosting the party together and share the load by actually cooking together. Another tip is to limit the number of guests. Check out the rest of the tips inside.
Sick of Irish Coffee and Egg Nog? Need something else to keep you warm and slightly toasty? How about a Hot Buttered Rum Toddy? Or a Cranberry Cosmo-Toddy? Tis the season to celebrate.
What’s it really like to have a baby all by your lonesome? Not so lonesome after all, says Louise Sloan. "I was ready for kids at age 28—and well aware that women's fertility starts to plummet at 35. When I saw my doctor that fateful year, she asked me if I wanted children. "Yes," I replied. "Definitely." With a stern look, she snapped, "Well, you're not getting any younger!" Thanks for the news flash, I thought. What kind of idiot does she think I am? I was a romantic, procrastinating idiot, to be exact. Despite my clear intellectual understanding of the issues involved, it took me until age 38 before I seriously started thinking about single motherhood, and even then, I had to be dragged into it kicking and screaming by my biological clock, which was starting to sound more like a car alarm."
For the best advice on sex, love, dating and relationships we ask two experts with personal experience. Cathi Hanauer is the author, most recently, of Sweet Ruin, a novel about love, marriage, and adultery. Daniel Jones is the editor of both the "Modern Love" column for The New York Times, and Modern Love, an anthology derived from the column. They've been married for 15 years, and together they provide a his and hers take on relationship questions. This round: men and multitasking. Question: My husband and I both juggle full-time jobs with caring for our toddler, but lately I’ve been frustrated by his inability to multitask. In the morning, I often do laundry and prepare our meals—but by the time I’m ready for work, he’s still in his pajamas! How can I get him to pick up the pace? –Laura, 36
It’s your party—trash your dress if you want to! From incinerating gowns to re-creating scenes from Dirty Dancing for the first dance, couples are revamping the traditions of the big day. Green is the new black, after all. Here, five wedding day ideas worth their weight in candied almonds.
A woman proposing to a man? "Well, it is a new millennium." Jeanann Pannasch recounts her tale of talking her husband out of marriage and then regretting it. The next several months were spent trying to figure out how to get him in the mood for marriage and it dawned on her that if this relationship was going to have a wedding then she was going to have to get aggressive. But circumstances and nervousness kept delaying the event. Finally, she gave him the engagement ring but the proposal did not go exactly as planned.
Cathy Hanauer is the editor of The Bitch in the House. Daniel Jones is the editor of The Bastard on the Couch. They have been married for 14 years and together they provide a his and hers take on questions about sex, love, dating and relationships. This round: being friends with the opposite sex. Question: My husband and I are newly married and share most of our friends. But recently I made a male friend who my husband doesn't get along with—in fact, he seems suspicious! What's the best way to cultivate this new friendship on my own? –Arianna, 32
He's your gay best friend and no straight man can live up to him. But does he keep you from dating other people? Do you secretly wish he were straight? No matter how much platonic love you have for him, romance probably isn't in the cards for the two of you. Ephi Stempler, a gay man who is no stranger to this type of intimacy, explores how this friendship can damage your chance for healthy relationship. He calls it the "Will and Grace dilemma". Stempler writes, "One of the sitcom's primary contributions to popular culture was its ability to candidly portray the feeling of being in love with one's best friend. As the title characters slipped into codependency worthy of an all-consuming romance, they found it increasingly difficult to cultivate meaningful relationships with other men. And because the list of women I've known and loved is—sadly—twice as long as the list of men I've loved and slept with, I, too, have fallen prey to the 'Will and Grace dilemma.'"
The husband and the in-laws—they can be a combustible combination. Introducing your boyfriend to your parents and family is difficult no matter what, especially if you're Jewish and he's not and your parents don't want you marrying a goy. But interfaith marriage doesn't have to be all bad, as Amy Sohn learned. In this excerpt from her book Altared, Amy shares her personal account of finding the one and then trying to sell him to her parents.
Tango resident expert gives advice on relationship issues. What happens when after two years they still have no mutual interests?
For the best advice on sex, love, dating and relationships we ask two experts with personal experience. Cathi Hanauer is the author, most recently, of Sweet Ruin, a novel about love, marriage, and adultery. Daniel Jones is the editor of both the "Modern Love" column for The New York Times, and Modern Love, an anthology derived from the column. They've been married for 15 years, and together they provide a his and hers take on relationship questions. This round: should you date other people before marrying the one you love? Question: I've been dating the same guy exclusively since high school. I'm now 26, and we've been talking about marriage. I'm crazy about him, but I worry that I will regret limiting my dating experience to just one man. Should I explore other options? –Anonymous
No matter what lovestage you're in, a girl crush is a way to satisfy your craving for infatuation and remind yourself of your best qualities. YourTango explores the intense platonic feelings of admiration, inspiration or just plain excitement another woman can inspire. "Lately, it seems like everyone has one. Hardly a tabloid goes by without announcing Lindsay Lohan's new best friend or Britney Spears's latest source of emotional support. What's more, you don't have to attend boarding school or emulate Cynthia Nixon to play this game. A girl crush is strictly platonic, an admission that a head over-heels tumble can just as easily be set off by a budding friendship as by an office flirtation—no strings (or kissing) attached. Best of all, girl crushes need never stop. Whether you're single or taken, a girl crush is a way to satisfy your craving for infatuation and remind yourself of your best qualities. Unless you have some seriously possessive women in your life, there's always room for a few more friends."
Who's time is it to shine? In order to take care all of a family's needs someone's career often has to take a backseat. Matt and Audrey McClelland have a unique way of achieving parity. They take turns.
Anyone who's heard the term "mommy wars" knows that being a working mom is a recipe for burnout. When you want to stop juggling a career and motherhood, the best solution might be to do a little bit less. Many employers are now accommodating of a job share. The key to job-sharing is coverage and communication at home and the office. Read more to find out how to find the flexibility you need to have it all and say goodbye to the career vs. family conundrum.
When you're married to a doctor, particularly a resident who has to be at the hospital all the time, you end up spending a lot of time alone. In this essay newlywed Rebecca Ascher-Walsh describes how she learned to accept her workaholic husband in all his over-achieving glory. "When my internist asked if I knew that marrying a doctor-in-training was a recipe for disaster, I laughed. What did he know of the power of young love? What he might have asked in return was: what did I know of my husband? And what, at 22, did I know of myself? For three years, I glimpsed him as he came in the door and headed to bed; when I prepared dinner to entice him en route, he would fall asleep, fork in hand. I was a married single person with none of the perks of either, and when it became clear— too many tears later—that there would always be a person who needed him more urgently than I did, we separated."