When the inevitable finally came, I was home with my daughter and boyfriend. The attack came on fast, but he never panicked. He watched and listened as my daughter administered my life-saving potassium and explained to him to watch for signs that my esophagus and diaphragm were paralyzed, both indicators that a trip to the ER was necessary. I could hear him asking her all kinds of questions, never with a sense of panic in his voice. He knelt at the side of the bed holding my hand, speaking softly and reassuring me that I was doing fine and that he and my daughter had things under control. He stayed there for an hour before I finally started coming around and moving again.
A woman discovers her grandfather's secret love of pornography. "I didn't know if I should laugh or vomit as I realized grandpa, the man who let me stay up late, eating "ippy" (our nickname for ice cream) out of the container, was into hardcore pornography. I couldn't help but feel an immense sadness as I grasped just what a lonely life my grandfather has been leading."
I'm in a relationship where we put all of our cards on the table. We are honest about our feelings with one another, and we're honest about our feelings about other people. Every once in a while he tells me that a really cute redhead cruised him at the coffee shop. I respond by showing him a dirty text message one of my guy friends sent me. The result? We just laugh at each other, then have amazing sex driven by the attraction other people have for us.
We live in an age of intricate technologies, 24/7 entertainment and sensory overload—so why is it so tough to think up creative dates? Of course, early in a relationship, you're so smitten that even dinner at Denny's seems exciting. But when you've done the ho-hum and the humdrum—dinner, a movie, bowling—you crave new ideas to keep things interesting. Here are ten ideas for great—and mostly cheap—dates that will not only entertain but allow you to get to know your mate in a whole new way.
The Sex and the City movie shined light on a phenomenon that nearly every woman deals with at one point or another: clashing with a friend's love interest. But in real life when the friends don't get along with the boyfriend, things rarely resolve neatly. "Says Allison, a twentysomething who lives in Manhattan, 'I have over time disliked a friend's choice of men many times... I felt like she often chose men who were selfish, destructive, patriarchal, and lacking depth. We often clashed because when her boyfriends would hurt her... I would get in full defense mode.' Unfortunately, even as Allison helped her friend through the hardships in her friend's romances, their friendship fizzled because of her friend's less-than-gallant boyfriends." Learn more about the friend vs boyfriend debate by reading the full article.
I'm not normally what you'd call old-fashioned, as a 24-year-old feminist, agnostic video game developer. But when it comes to my wedding, I want to be the princess from the storybook. Despite hunting down the latest fashions in fusion recipes, high-end laptops, and nightclubs, I just don't have the need to make my wedding "modern."
Does coming from a broken family guarantee broken relationships in the future? Not necessarily. Some experts say that children of divorce may fear commitment, but this fear can actually work in their favor by allowing them to have more experiences and get to know themselves as they emotionally mature into adulthood, before making a commitment. Licensed therapist and author Elisabeth Joy Lamotte tells us that healthy, happy relationships are attainable through five easy steps (no, one of them is not matricide), which she's outlined in her book "Overcoming Your Parents' Divorce: 5 Steps To A Happy Relationship." Lamotte discusses with YourTango the importance of recognizing the specific effects of our parents' relationship on our own love lives, whether it was troubled, divorced or even healthy. Read the Q&A to learn about the steps and how to make commitment phobia work to your advantage.
When I proposed to Nicole last October, it was the first time I'd ever gone through the craziness of purchasing a ring, but it wasn't the first time she'd gotten one. It was my first engagement, but her second marriage, making our wedding—like about a third of the wedding in America these days—an "encore wedding," often a second wedding after divorce. Some guys might get jealous— of her first engagement ring, first honeymoon, first house or first-marriage children—but for me, it was almost the opposite. Her first wedding was "her" day, which meant that our wedding was wide open to be "our" day. So what exactly are the rules of an encore wedding? Well, there may not be many, but here's rule number one: it's poor form to compare the current wedding to any previous ones.
When you marry, will you change your name? Hyphenate it? Make him take your name? If you're already married, ow did you decide? Although tradition dictates that women do take their husband's last names, it's a personal choice. Here, one woman describes her decision. "We've heard about our options and the inherent difficulties that go along with each. If we keep our names, our in-laws will hate us. If we hyphenate, no one will be able to alphabetize it properly; our medical records will be repeatedly lost. If we take our husband's last name, we'll forever feel like a part of our identity was lost, which may or may not be a bigger problem than the missing medical records. We've certainly heard that making the choice sucks. Many of us spend hours weighing the options—even before we're engaged. We even go so far as to speculate about which celebrity brides will take their husband's last names. Are we hoping that their choices will somehow provide us a glimpse into a magical crystal ball and reveal a time in the future when this isn't so damn difficult?"
Despite my views, I find the recent speculation about the death of marriage absurd, if only because it doesn’t acknowledge the hypnotic power of matrimony. All the proof you need can be found in the tight smiles of single men at weddings, in the ever-teary eyes of the unwed women, in the fear and envy behind both. The very thing, I realized, that my girlfriend of two years and I were walking into as we arrived at the rehearsal dinner.
Raucous, dramatic fights—me yelling, threatening to end things, and disappearing while he waited for me to simmer down—raged weekly in our early relationship. But as guests in sport coats and tea length dresses cheered our first kiss as man and wife, I realized our fights would have to change. How could I threaten to leave him when I had promised to stay with him forever? By the end of our wedding day, I had already shushed my inner drama queen once—the first step toward learning how to fight like a wife.
As a modern working girl, I feared dependency on a man. I assumed my romantic affairs would verge on pathetic before the perfect match showed up to accept my neurotic tendencies. I'd also learned from my screen heroes, who all dated for sport, that I'd be searching until at least the next decade to find Mr. Big. Even after I'd met Zach I refused to turn into Charlotte. Her goody two-shoes ways and lack of career ambition aggravated me, but I was no longer Samantha with a different guy every night. And that was OK. Just like the women in the upcoming Sex and the City movie, who developed throughout the six seasons we watched them, I had to balance my love of independence with my need for monogamy.
I just moved in with my boyfriend, hoping that cohabitation would result in more quality time together. But I’m a night owl, while he tucks in early—so we hardly see each other! What can we do to reconcile our mismatched body clocks? –Maria, 34 Getting circadian rhythms in sync can be challenging, so be aware (as I’m sure you are) that successful cohabitation will require lots of compromise. First, designate days of the week where you are both on your own schedules without guilt, then choose a few where you settle in early. If you can’t sleep, read beside him until he nods off, then get back out of bed for a few hours. And ask him to stay up with you once a week—maybe for a date night out?
One newlywed yearns for an apron, a mop...and the title of CEH.